People kiss on the cheek as a form of greeting or farewell in many cultures around the world. Cheek kissing is very common in European and Latin countries like France, Spain, Italy, and Brazil. It also occurs in Middle Eastern and Asian countries. The practice varies across regions with differences in who kisses who, which cheek is used, and how many kisses are exchanged. But why did this custom develop and what does a kiss on the cheek really mean? Here is an in-depth look at the history and cultural significance behind the cheek kiss.
Historical Origins
Cheek kissing has been practiced in human cultures going as far back as the 5th century BC. There are a few theories as to how the tradition began:
Early Christian Influence
Some historians believe that the origin of the cheek kiss stems from a custom in early Christian worship. In those times, members of the congregation would kiss each other to signify the wish of peace. This was known as the “kiss of peace” or the “holy kiss.” Men would kiss men and women would kiss women as a symbolic gesture of brotherly love. The holy kiss later became less popular in Christian rituals, but the cheek kiss as a greeting endured over time.
Show of Trust
Another theory holds that the cheek kiss emerged as a way to convey trust and friendship. Offering one’s cheek to another person leaves one vulnerable. Therefore, the cheek kiss demonstrates that the two people trust each other not to inflict harm. It was likely a symbolic pledge that the greeters intended no treachery or ill will. This show of trust became ritualized as a cultural greeting.
Alternative to Bowing
Some cultures may have adopted cheek kissing as an alternative to bowing. Bowing requires exposing the back of the neck, which also conveys vulnerability. A light kiss upon the cheek achieves a similar intimacy while allowing both parties to keep their eyes forward. This maintained a bit more protective body posture while still expressing affection.
Cultural Differences
While cheek kissing is common in many places, the specific customs around it vary immensely. Here are some of the key differences in how it is practiced:
Number of Kisses
The number of kisses exchanged during a cheek kiss differs based on the culture:
- France: 2 kisses
- Belgium: 3 kisses
- Switzerland: 3 kisses
- Netherlands: 3 kisses
- Spain: 2 kisses
- Italy: 2 kisses
- Russia: 3 kisses
- Greece: 2 kisses
Some regions like Argentina and Colombia prefer just one kiss.
Cheek Direction
Which cheek is kissed first also changes between cultures:
- France: Left cheek first
- Netherlands: Right cheek first
- Spain: Right cheek first
- Italy: Left cheek first
- Russia: Right cheek first
- Greece: Right cheek first
This difference in direction is thought to stem from preferences set long ago by the dominant religion or ruling power in the region.
Gender
Who kisses who on the cheek also depends on local norms:
- France: Men and women kiss each other
- Spain: Men and women kiss each other
- Greece: Men and women kiss each other
- Italy: Men kiss women, but not men
- Russia: Men kiss men, women kiss women
- Netherlands: Men kiss women, but not men
This aligns with levels of comfort with same-sex displays of affection.
Relationships
Cheek kissing also differs based on the relationship between the greeters. In many regions, cheek kisses are reserved for family members and close friends. Colleagues or acquaintances may shake hands or nod instead. The number of kisses often increases based on the depth of intimacy between the two people.
Modern Practices
While cheek kissing endures in many parts of the world today, practices continue to evolve in modern times. Here are some contemporary changes around the tradition:
Casual Use Declining
– Cheek kissing upon a first introduction is becoming less common, especially in professional settings. Handshakes remain the safer option between new acquaintances.
Etiquette Challenges
– With globalization, it can be confusing when people from different cheek kissing cultures interact. Many opt to forgo the kiss to avoid any awkwardness.
COVID-19 Impact
– The COVID-19 pandemic has reduced cheek kissing due to social distancing needs. However, some expect cheek kissing to rebound after the pandemic wanes.
Younger Generations
– Some youth have moved away from the tradition, viewing cheek kisses as somewhat antiquated. Time will tell if they continue the custom with their own children.
Romantic Partners
– Romantic couples often incorporate cheek kisses as an intimate gesture, which began to influence mainstream culture through film and media.
Purpose and Meaning
So why has cheek kissing stood the test of time across so many cultures? What deeper human drivers does it fulfill?
Human Contact
Cheek kissing satisfies the fundamental human need for touch and physical connection. The kiss brings bodies briefly into proximity with sensory contact. This generates oxytocin, dopamine, and other chemicals that are scientifically proven to bolster mood, health, bonding, and affection.
Subconscious Signals
A kiss on the cheek can convey a wealth of information beyond conscious words, sending messages about closeness, care, trust, and positive intent. These implicit cues get transmitted person-to-person through body language and energy.
Social Ritual
Cheek kissing serves as a “social ritual” that follows culturally prescribed rules and patterns of behavior. This helps define identity, strengthen group cohesion, and ease tensions during greetings and goodbyes. The familiarity creates a sense of harmony.
Emotional Expression
A cheek kiss represents an outlet for expressing and sharing positive emotions like happiness, love, warmth, sympathy, and gratitude between individuals. It channels these feelings in a physical way.
Conclusion
Cheek kissing is an enduring social tradition that serves important psychological and cultural functions. Its longevity results from the human drive to connect with and care for one another through touch. While practices vary, the heart of cheek kissing remains universal. The light press of lips to cheek reflects our shared humanity.