It’s common for people to experience feelings of guilt or shame after a night of drinking alcohol. Some quick answers to why you may feel this way:
– Drinking too much can lead to regrettable behavior like saying or doing embarrassing things, being rude or inappropriate, or even blacking out. You may feel guilty about your actions or worry about how you were perceived.
– Hangovers after drinking often make people feel awful physically and mentally. This can compound feelings of regret or self-blame.
– Excessive drinking goes against social norms and values around moderation. You may feel like you let yourself or others down by overdoing it.
– Alcohol lowers inhibitions so you may behave in ways that go against your morals when sober. This can make you feel guilty afterwards.
– Drinking often leads to poor decision-making. You may regret choices you made while intoxicated.
– Some people feel dependent on alcohol to have fun or loosen up in social situations. This can lead to feeling ashamed.
– Guilt can also stem from letting responsibilities slide or missing work/school due to drinking.
– Heredity, family history, and mental health conditions can also contribute to guilty feelings related to alcohol.
Why drinking leads to regrettable behavior
Alcohol is a depressant that slows down the brain’s functions and impairs judgment. As drinking increases, people become more impulsive, less inhibited, and less aware of their behavior and surroundings. This leads to embarrassing situations like:
Saying things you regret
– Oversharing personal details or secrets
– Unintentionally offending someone
– Rambling, incoherent, or nonsensical speech
– Blurting out insensitive remarks
– Aggressive, mean, or rude comments
Engaging in risky, unsafe behavior
– Drink driving
– Unsafe sex leading to regret or STIs
– Getting into arguments, fights or accidents
– Passing out in unsafe places like streets or bars
– Walking home alone late at night
– Mixing alcohol with medications or illegal drugs
Forgetting what happened while drunk (blackouts)
– Memory lapses make you worry about how you acted
– Friends may tell you embarrassing things you did
– You can’t remember getting home or where you left belongings
– Increased risks like unprotected sex or injuries
Acting inappropriately or acting out
– Sloppy, clumsy movements and slurred speech
– Offensive jokes or comments
– Overemotional displays like yelling, crying, anger
– Flirting, hooking up with random people
– Nudity, streaking, or raunchy dancing
– Vomiting in public
– Passing out in a messy state
Hangovers and mental health
Hangovers after a night of heavy drinking can leave you feeling full of regret. Physical symptoms like headache, nausea, dizziness and fatigue put you in a rough mental state. You may experience:
Anxiety
Worrying about how you behaved or things you said to people. Feeling tense and on-edge.
Depression
Feeling low, sad, lack of motivation and enjoyment in activities.
Irritability
Feeling impatient, frustrated, sensitive to noises and light. Lashing out at loved ones.
Muddled thinking
Memory lapses, concentration difficulties, slowed reaction time. Hard to make decisions.
Disrupted sleep
Alcohol interrupts sleep cycles. The next day you feel drowsy yet unable to nap.
Dehydration
Alcohol is a diuretic that causes fluid loss. Dehydration exacerbates hangover symptoms.
Nutrient depletion
Alcohol inhibits absorption of vitamins and minerals. Deficiencies contribute to fatigue and mood issues.
Hangovers can leave you feeling regretful about drinking and dwelling on cringeworthy situations that happened the night before.
Drinking culture and social norms
Social attitudes and cultural norms around drinking also impact feelings of shame and guilt:
Perceived failure of self-control
– Getting drunk clashes with values of temperance and moderation.
– You feel like you failed at limiting intake and drinking responsibly.
Letting down family or friends
– Getting drunk around family members, especially children or parents
– Forgetting to call a friend when you said you would
– Bailing on plans to take care of a hangover
Not meeting responsibilities
– Calling in sick to work or missing class
– Forgetting to do chores or tasks
– Neglecting care for children or pets
Going against religious beliefs
– If your faith discourages alcohol use
– Violating rituals or practices due to drinking
Parents or authority figures disapprove
– Feeling like you disappointed your parents
– Regret about underage drinking
– Doing something you could get in trouble for
Alcohol, decision-making and inhibitions
Alcohol clouds judgment and lowers inhibitions. This leads to poor choices you regret when sober:
Risky sexual behaviors
– Unprotected sex leading to STIs or pregnancy scares
– Infidelity and cheating on romantic partners
– Embarrassing hookups with strangers or friends
Illegal activities
– Vandalism, property damage
– Getting into fights or physical altercations
– Drink driving resulting in DUI charges
– Theft or “borrowing” things without asking
Financial mistakes
– Gambling excessively or making bad bets
– Overspending on drinks, food, drugs, shopping sprees
– Losing wallets, credit cards, cash
Jeopardizing relationships
– Getting into heated arguments with friends or partner
– Oversharing private information told in confidence
– Hitting on friend’s romantic partner
Embarrassing social media use
– Regrettable posts, comments, photos
– Drunk messaging exes or your boss
– Offensive rants or oversharing personal issues
Relying on alcohol and loss of control
Some people feel guilty about their relationship with alcohol overall:
Using alcohol to cope
Drinking to deal with stress, anxiety, boredom or difficult emotions. This avoidance prolongs issues.
Needing alcohol for confidence
Leaning on drinking to loosen up in social situations. Can’t open up or have fun while sober.
Peer pressure
Drinking to fit in with certain friends or colleagues. Choosing booze over better judgment.
Drinking alone
Isolating yourself and drinking by yourself at home. Seen as depressing or pathetic.
Repeatedly overdoing it
Habitual binge drinking and extreme drunkenness. Indicates an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
Feeling dependent on alcohol
Needing to drink every day or feeling unable to socialize or have fun without it.
Failed attempts to cut back
Making promises to drink less that ultimately aren’t kept. Inability to control intake.
Genetics, family history and mental health
Genetics and mental health conditions can also contribute to guilt about drinking:
Family history of alcoholism
If close relatives abuse alcohol, you may be predisposed to problem drinking.
Mental health conditions
Anxiety, depression, PTSD and others are linked to increased drinking and alcohol abuse.
Self-loathing thoughts
Mental illnesses like depression can fuel negative self-talk and self-blame.
Trauma history
Past trauma like abuse increases drinking to cope. This can cause guilt and shame.
Medication interactions
Drinking on certain medications can cause bad reactions making you feel ill and regretful.
Impulsivity and poor self-control
Some mental illnesses are marked by impulsivity which can lead to excessive drinking.
Addiction prone personality
Impulsive risk-taking personality traits predict a higher risk of alcoholism.
Coping strategies and moving forward
If you regularly feel guilty for drinking too much, here are some healthy ways to cope:
Hydrate and replenish nutrients
Drink water and eat fruits/veggies to counter dehydration and vitamin deficiencies from alcohol.
Practice self-forgiveness
Don’t beat yourself up. Recognize alcohol impaired your judgment. Vow to make wiser decisions moving forward.
Apologize and make amends
If you hurt someone, own up to it and apologize sincerely when they are ready to talk. Do what you can to make it right.
Review your relationship with alcohol
Is drinking affecting your mental health, relationships, responsibilities? Take steps to cut back or quit.
Seek counseling or support groups
Therapy, AA meetings, sobriety programs can help if drinking is unhealthy.
Find new coping mechanisms
Explore other ways to manage stress and difficult emotions without using alcohol.
Limit alcohol intake
Set reasonable limits on how often and how much you drink. Stick to them.
Avoid triggers
Steer clear of situations, people or thoughts that cause you to overdrink if possible.
Conclusion
It’s common to feel embarrassed, anxious or ashamed after drinking too much. While guilt can be uncomfortable, it serves as a reminder to be more mindful of alcohol consumption moving forward. Be compassionate with yourself but also proactive about making changes if drinking is negatively impacting your life. With self-care strategies, healthy coping skills and support, you can get to a better place around alcohol use.