The desire for physical touch and comfort is a fundamental human need. In today’s increasingly touch-deprived society, it’s common to crave the warmth and security of a hug. There are many potential reasons why someone might feel an intense urge to be hugged or held. Exploring the root causes can help gain insight into emotions and better address this innate longing for connection.
The Science Behind Touch
Physical touch activates the release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and feelings of affection and calmness. Oxytocin helps forge social connections and lowers blood pressure and cortisol levels. The act of hugging also stimulates the production of dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter that boosts mood. The combination of these hormones can induce a sense of well-being, comfort, and security.
Studies have shown the powerful biochemical effects of touch. Premature babies that received just 15 minutes of touch therapy gained 47% more weight than those that did not. Patients recovering from cancer treatment showed increased immune system functioning with massage therapy. Even short 20-second hugs with a romantic partner spurred the release of oxytocin. The human body craves caring physical contact.
Loneliness and Social Isolation
In the modern digital era, society is becoming increasingly isolated. People work longer hours and commute farther distances, separating them from local community connections. Technology has allowed constant digital engagement with those afar while still feeling detached from those physically nearby. Loneliness is at epidemic levels in many industrialized nations.
This social isolation can create a yearning for the human touch missing from our lives. Without physical community and intimate relationships, a person may feel empty or unmoored. Seeking hugs can be the unconscious mind’s way of addressing this deficit of touch and intimacy. It signals an inner plea to be seen, valued, and connected to others.
Stress and Anxiety
Hectic lifestyles and near-constant digital stimulation lead to information overload for many people today. This relentless pace fuels stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout. A warm, centering embrace can serve as an antidote to emotional overload and chaos. The release of oxytocin initiates relaxation by lowering cortisol. For those feeling overwhelmed, a hug can represent a pause button from external pressures. It provides a sense of safety that allows one’s nervous system to reset.
Seeking more hugs may indicate a body crying out for stress relief. A calming embrace can be emotional medicine, offering tranquility to frayed nerves. The simplicity of a hug signifies a return to what humans inherently need- genuine care and connection. For an overloaded mind, it can represent a sanctuary.
Grief and Loss
Grieving the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship is an intensely lonely process. Hugs remind us that despite loss, humans are wired for affection. Bereft of a loved one’s familiar embrace, hugging others can temporarily fill an emotional void. It serves as an act of self-soothing at a time when a familiar caring touch is gone.
Yearning for a hug when grieving symbolizes the need to be consoled in the midst of hardship. It reflects a longing to be supported through a painful transition. An embrace allows vulnerability and releases emotions that may have been suppressed due to loss. For the bereaved, hugs can represent a bridge from one stage of life to the next.
Childhood Deprivation
Children require plenty of affection for healthy emotional development. If a child grows up deprived of nurturing touch, an intense longing for contact may linger into adulthood. Seeking hugs later in life may reflect this unmet need stemming from childhood.
Adults who experienced little affection due to neglect, abuse, or emotionally unavailable parents may unconsciously try to redress this deficit. A hug trauma survivor craves may symbolize making up for the care they missed out on. Touch therapy could help rewire neural pathways and promote increased resiliency.
Burnout and Depression
Chronic burnout or depression result from prolonged periods of excessive stress. They greatly diminish a person’s interest in socializing or engaging in previously pleasurable activities. However, the innate human need for comfort remains intact. Requesting more hugs from loved ones can indicate a desire to remedy the physical and emotional isolation imposed by burnout or depression.
A supportive, nurturing embrace can be a small first step to re-engaging depressed or burnt out individuals with the outside world. The oxytocin release eases social anxiety and reminds someone that connections still exist. For those in despair, a simple hug conveys the message: “You are not alone”. It represents a starting point on the path back to oneself.
Romantic Relationship Problems
Within romantic partnerships, hugs reinforce intimacy and attachment. Partners who refrain from frequent embraces report increasing interpersonal distance and tension. When arguments or disappointments arise, one member of a couple may experience cravings to be hugged as reassurance that the relationship is still caring and secure.
A longing for hugs from a partner signifies a need for warmth, forgiveness, and reconciliation during times of strife. It reflects a desire to preserve an intimate bond despite current troubles. An embrace can diffuse tension and remind partners why they fell in love to begin with – a longing to hold and be held.
Touch Deprivation From Physical Distancing
Public health measures enacted to curb the Covid-19 pandemic have severely reduced social contact. Quarantines, lockdowns, and physical distancing precautions have minimized touching between people for over two years now. This necessary but unnatural isolation has resulted in episodic touch starvation for some.
As social creatures, humans have an innate need for face-to-face community and physical togetherness. For those adhering diligently to distancing guidelines, requesting more hugs signifies a longing to reinstate this taken-for-granted contact. It demonstrates the vital role touch plays in mental health. A hug has the power to fortify people until regular social engagement fully resumes.
Positive Effects of More Frequent Hugging
Given the well-researched benefits of touch, embracing loved ones more often can improve both physical and emotional health. Here are some positive impacts of increasing affectionate physical contact through hugging:
Strengthens the immune system
The release of oxytocin reduces inflammation which protects the body from illness.
Lowers blood pressure
The relaxation induced by hugging decreases blood pressure. High blood pressure increases the risk of heart attack and stroke.
Reduces stress
The oxytocin and dopamine released while hugging curbs levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. This minimizes anxiety, depression, and fear.
Enhances empathy
The act of hugging boosts social awareness and compassion for what others may be feeling.
Deepensbonds
Hugging reinforces intimacy and closeness with loved ones and community members.
Soothes emotional pain
The sense of security generated through hugging tempers grief, heartbreak, and trauma.
Induces sleepiness
The oxytocin released while hugging promotes relaxation and better sleep quality.
Eases insecurity
A caring embrace combats feelings of self-doubt, making people feel supported.
| Benefit | Cause |
|---|---|
| Strengthens immune system | Oxytocin reduces inflammation |
| Lowers blood pressure | Induces relaxation response |
| Reduces stress | Lowers cortisol levels |
| Enhances empathy | Boosts social awareness |
| Deepens bonds | Reinforces intimacy |
| Soothes emotional pain | Provides comfort and security |
| Induces sleepiness | Releases relaxation hormone oxytocin |
| Eases insecurity | Provides feelings of support |
How To Hug More Frequently
Making warm, caring touch a consistent part of life is vital for well-being. Here are suggestions for exchanging more hugs with loved ones:
Initiate embraces regularly
Don’t wait for others to hug first. Habitually open your arms as greetings and goodbyes.
Keep goodbye hugs long
At the end of visits, hug for at least 5-10 seconds before pulling away.
Host hugging fests
Dedicate parties or events centered solely around sharing quality hugs.
Send hug signals
Create physical or verbal cues allowing others to know you’re open to a hug.
Highlight hugging occasions
Celebrate special days and accomplishments with meaningful embraces.
Form hugging circles
At group functions, propose brief hugging circle sessions.
Offer comfort hugs
When someone is upset, ask if a hug would help them feel better.
Add hug breaks
During lengthy interactions, propose short hugging intervals.
Set hugging reminders
Use phone alarms to promptregularly exchanging embraces.
| Strategy | Method |
|---|---|
| Initiate embraces regularly | Open arms for greetings and goodbyes |
| Keep goodbye hugs long | Hug for 5-10 seconds when leaving |
| Host hugging fests | Plan parties focused just on hugging |
| Send hug signals | Create physical/verbal cues that you’re open to a hug |
| Highlight hugging occasions | Celebrate milestones with meaningful hugs |
| Form hugging circles | Propose brief hugging sessions at groups |
| Offer comfort hugs | Ask if a hug would help when someone is upset |
| Add hug breaks | Take short hug intervals during long interactions |
| Set hugging reminders | Use phone alarms to prompt embraces |
Other Healthy Touch Ideas
While hugs top the list, any caring physical contact promotes wellness. Here are more ways to exchange therapeutic, affectionate touch:
Hand-holding
Reach for a loved one’s hand while walking together or sitting side-by-side.
Head massage
Take turns gently massaging each other’s scalps for 5-10 minutes.
Walking arm-in-arm
Link arms with friends, family, or partners while strolling.
Foot rubs
Trade relaxing foot massages while watching TV or chatting.
Shoulder squeezes
Gently squeeze shoulders when embracing in greetings and goodbyes.
Pat on the back
Give someone a friendly pat on the back for encouragement.
Temple strokes
Softly stroke someone’s temples to help relieve headaches.
Playing footsies
Playfully touch feet together under the table at meals.
| Activity |
|---|
| Hand-holding |
| Head massage |
| Walking arm-in-arm |
| Foot rubs |
| Shoulder squeezes |
| Pat on the back |
| Temple strokes |
| Playing footsies |
Conclusion
A longing for more hugs often signals a need for greater human connection and caring touch. Prioritizing affectionate physical contact is vital for emotional and physical well-being. Through regular warm embraces, oxytocin and dopamine are released, fortifying people against life’s stresses. Hugging builds intimacy, combats loneliness, and reminds us touch is a primal human necessity. Seeking more hugs indicates an inner yearning to be understood, accepted, and loved.