Friends is one of the most popular sitcoms of all time, known for its lovable characters, funny storylines, and tight-knit friend group. Throughout the show’s 10 seasons, the friends go through many ups and downs together, always supporting each other along the way. But which friend was the kindest of them all?
How to Determine Kindness
There are a few key factors to consider when determining which Friends character was the kindest:
- How often they helped out their friends in times of need
- How forgiving and understanding they were towards others
- How willing they were to make sacrifices for their friends
- How much emotional support and comfort they provided
- How thoughtful they were through words and actions
By looking at moments when the friends demonstrated these traits, we can get a sense of who was the most genuinely kind-hearted of the group.
Chandler Bing
Chandler Bing, portrayed by Matthew Perry, is known for his sarcastic humor and goofy personality. But beneath the jokes, Chandler demonstrates immense kindness and care for his friends throughout the show.
Some examples of Chandler’s kindness include:
- Letting Joey live with him when Joey was struggling financially, and supporting him until he could get back on his feet
- Comforting Ross through his painful divorce from Carol when she came out as gay
- Helping Rachel furnish her new apartment and assemble furniture when she first moved out on her own
- Lending money to Joey and Monica multiple times when they needed help covering costs
- Supporting Monica emotionally when she was unemployed and trying to find her passion
Chandler goes out of his way to be there for his friends, even though he often tries to downplay his own good deeds with jokes. He is reliably thoughtful, generous, and caring.
Phoebe Buffay
Phoebe Buffay, played by Lisa Kudrow, has her quirks, but she is undoubtedly one of the most selfless and compassionate friends. Her kindness stems from her difficult childhood after her mother’s suicide, during which she learned to rely on the kindness of others.
Some of Phoebe’s kindest moments include:
- Selflessly offering to be a surrogate for her brother Frank and his wife Alice when they struggled with infertility
- Taking care of her grandmother’s taxi after she died and even learning French to communicate with a difficult passenger
- Helping Ross cope after his divorce by reassuring him there will be other chances to marry
- Singing for the children at the hospital where she volunteers to cheer them up
- Frequently providing thoughtful advice and perspective to help her friends through tough situations
Phoebe has a huge heart and is always willing to be there for whoever needs her, even strangers. Her own difficult past seems to give her great empathy and desire to spread kindness.
Monica Geller
Monica Geller, portrayed by Courteney Cox, can seem obsessive and competitive at times. But those traits often manifest out of love and care for her friends. Monica’s kindness is shown through tangible acts of service.
Some examples include:
- Letting Rachel live with her when she ran away from her wedding, and giving her a job and support as she got back on her feet
- Frequently cooking elaborate meals and treats to show love and appreciation for her friends
- Welcoming Chandler as family after he and Ross became friends despite their rough history
- Helping Ross prepare for major life events like new jobs, weddings, and becoming a father
- Working hard to make sure her friends’ birthdays and holidays were special
Monica pours love into gestures and actions to care for her friends. She’ll go above and beyond to make them feel happy and supported.
Rachel Green
Although Rachel Green, played by Jennifer Aniston, can be rather self-absorbed and spoiled at first, she grows tremendously over the course of the show and learns the value of kindness. Rachel becomes willing to make sacrifices for her friends as she matures.
Some of Rachel’s most thoughtful moments include:
- Agreeing to be Monica’s maid of honor at her wedding even though she was jealous not to be getting married herself
- Letting the guys hang out in her luxury apartment when they were fighting over petty issues
- Helping Joey practice for roles by running lines with him and providing feedback
- Taking care of Ross and Monica’s grandmother when she broke her hip
- Trying hard to maintain her friendships even after her dynamic with Ross became complicated romantically
Rachel evolves to put others first much more, and her innate compassion shines through increasingly over time.
Ross Geller
Ross Geller, David Schwimmer’s character, can be rather self-pitying and jealous throughout the show. But he does have his truly caring, generous moments that shouldn’t be overlooked.
Some examples of Ross’s kindness:
- Taking Phoebe to hockey games frequently after learning she never got to experience sports growing up
- Letting Joey and Chandler nap in his apartment after their place was flooded
- Surprising Monica with childhood memories to decorate her new apartment
- Trying his best to support Rachel through her unexpected pregnancy despite their relationship issues
- Sharing insightful advice with the other friends about love, family and careers
When Ross moves past his own ego, he demonstrates selfless care for his closest friends. He has his dramatic moments, but underneath he has a big heart.
Joey Tribbiani
As the lovable goofball of the group, Joey Tribbiani, played by Matt LeBlanc, often provides comic relief. But Joey also has an enormous capacity for warmth and care.
Here are some of Joey’s kindest moments:
- Agreeing to be a sperm donor for Monica and Chandler when they were struggling to conceive
- Welcoming Ross to live with him when his apartment was being renovated
- Trying hard to build a loving relationship with his sister Dina even though they never got along as kids
- Supporting Phoebe frequently through all her relationship ups and downs
- Stepping up as a father figure for Rachel’s baby once she chose to keep it
Underneath his goofy, womanizing exterior, Joey would do absolutely anything for his friends and has a heart of gold.
Analysis
It’s clear all the friends demonstrate compassion and care for each other in different ways throughout the show’s 10 seasons. But when analyzing all the evidence, Phoebe Buffay stands out as the kindest and most selfless friend overall.
No matter what struggles Phoebe went through in her own life, she was always willing to drop everything to help a friend in need, expecting nothing in return. Not only that, but she showed immense kindness and empathy towards strangers as well. Phoebe’s own history seemed to give her a deep desire to spread more goodness in the world.
The table below summarizes the acts of kindness displayed by each friend:
| Friend | Key Acts of Kindness |
|---|---|
| Phoebe |
|
| Chandler |
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| Monica |
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| Rachel |
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| Ross |
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| Joey |
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While they all demonstrate admirable kindness and compassion at various times, Phoebe most consistently and selflessly puts others’ needs before her own. Her heart and generosity seem boundless, spanning not just her close friend group but strangers too. For these reasons, Phoebe Buffay stands out as the kindest friend on Friends.
Conclusion
On the hit sitcom Friends, all 6 main characters show kindness and heartwarming moments throughout the show’s 10 seasons. But Phoebe Buffay demonstrates incredible empathy, compassion, and selflessness time and time again. Whether it’s helping a friend in need, providing advice or comfort during tough times, or even assisting total strangers, Phoebe’s desire to spread more goodness never wavers.
Phoebe’s difficult childhood seems to make her all the more attuned to helping those around her, and she frequently sacrifices her own interests to improve other people’s lives. For these reasons, Phoebe emerges as the kindest and most big-hearted Friend of the bunch – someone who was always guaranteed to go above and beyond for the people she cared about.