When planning a funeral service, one of the decisions that needs to be made is who will do the readings. The readings are an important part of the service, offering comfort, reflection, and meaning for those grieving the loss of their loved one. Choosing the right people to do the readings can be an emotional decision. Here are some things to consider when deciding who should do the readings at the funeral.
Close Family Members
Having close family members do readings is a common choice. This allows the grieving process to be shared among those closest to the deceased. Spouses, parents, siblings, children, and grandchildren are typical choices. These loved ones knew the deceased intimately and their voice and expression can carry special meaning. They may feel honored to contribute to the service in this way. Here are some pros and cons of having close family do the readings:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Their grief gives the reading emotional weight | They may have difficulty reading through grief |
| The deceased would likely approve of the choice | Choosing between family can cause conflict |
| It feels natural and appropriate | Their grief could heighten others’ grief |
Close Friends
Choosing close friends of the deceased to do funeral readings is also very appropriate. Friends often know personal sides of the deceased that even family may not. They can share heartfelt perspectives through their reading. And if family members are too emotional to read well, friends can be excellent alternatives. Here are some potential benefits and drawbacks of having friends do the readings:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Can give a unique perspective on the deceased | Family may want to keep readings intimate |
| Less likely to break down with grief | Their grief may still interfere with reading |
| Honors important non-family relationships | Family may feel their role is diminished |
Religious Officiants
If the funeral is being held as part of a religious service, it is common for officiants like priests, pastors, rabbis, imams, or other clergy to do the scripture readings. Here are some potential advantages and downsides of having officiants do the readings:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| They are skilled public speakers | Impersonal if they didn’t know deceased |
| Adds spirituality and authority | Family may want a more personal touch |
| Takes pressure off grieving family/friends | May not know which readings resonate most |
Children
Having children participate by doing readings can be meaningful, especially at the funeral of a relative. It demonstrates that the younger generation will remember the deceased. Parents should consider the child’s age, maturity level, and ability to follow through when deciding if they should participate. Here are some potential benefits and concerns:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Teaches them about grief and goodbyes | May lack maturity to read well |
| Develops poise and public speaking | Could become overwhelmed with emotion |
| Chance to honor deceased relative | Big responsibility for a young person |
Multiple Readers
Having several different people do readings allows more loved ones to participate. This can add meaning and variety to the service. Multiple readers may include:
- Family member(s)
- Close friend(s)
- Clergy member(s)
- Coworker(s)
- Community member(s)
- Child(ren)
Things to consider with multiple readers:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Allows more people to be involved | Logistically more complicated |
| Adds diversity of perspectives | Choice of readers more challenging |
| Spreads out the reading responsibility | Too many readers could be less cohesive |
Recordings of the Deceased
If the deceased person left behind recordings of themselves reading or speaking, these can be very touching additions to funeral readings. Possibilities include:
- Voicemail messages
- Audio letters/diaries
- Speeches
- Song recordings
- Poetry readings
- Answering machine greetings
Benefits and considerations of using recordings:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Lets mourners hear deceased’s voice | Technology needs make it harder to coordinate |
| Unique personal touch | Recordings may not be high quality |
| Could capture signature sayings/songs | Deceased may not approve of certain recordings |
Conclusion
Deciding who should do readings at a funeral is an important choice that can truly enhance the meaning and emotional impact of the service. While close family and friends are the most common choices, clergy, children, coworkers, community members and recordings of the deceased can also make excellent additions or alternatives. The most important criteria are choosing readers who will honor the deceased, convey heartfelt sentiments, and strengthen the comfort of those grieving the loss.