A bridal shower is a fun pre-wedding celebration where the bride’s friends and family get together to shower her with gifts. Traditionally, the maid of honor hosts and plans the bridal shower, but costs are often shared between the host, bridesmaids, and invitees. With changing traditions and rising wedding costs, who pays for what at a bridal shower can get confusing. This article will break down bridal shower etiquette and costs to help you budget and plan.
Who Traditionally Pays for the Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, the maid of honor serves as the host and planner for the bridal shower and covers all costs, including:
- Venue rental
- Food and beverages
- Decorations
- Games and activities
- Invitations
- Favors for guests
As the bride’s closest friend, covering these costs was considered an honor. However, with weddings getting more elaborate and expensive, many maids of honor cannot afford to pay for everything themselves.
Modern Bridal Shower Budgets
These days, it’s becoming more common to split bridal shower costs between the maid of honor, bridesmaids, mother of the bride, and even shower guests. Here are some typical ways bridal shower budgets break down:
Maid of Honor
The maid of honor often still covers the bulk of the shower expenses, including:
- Venue – Though she may get help with the deposit or rental fees
- Food and beverages
- Games and activities
- Invitations
- Favors and gift bags
Bridesmaids
To lessen the burden on the maid of honor, it’s customary for the rest of the bridesmaids to chip in on certain shower costs like:
- Food and beverages
- Venue rental fees
- Decorations
- Games and activities
Bridesmaids may also choose to buy small gifts for the bride or prizes for games played at the shower.
Mother of the Bride
While not required, the mother of the bride often contributes to the shower by covering costs like:
- Venue rental
- Catering or cake
- Invitations
- Decorations
- Favors or gift bags
As the hostess, the maid of honor should coordinate with the mother of the bride to decide who will pay for what.
Guests
In many cases, bridal shower guests will also pitch in to cover expenses. Typical ways guests contribute include:
- Bringing food or beverages for the shower
- Chipping in on a group gift for the bride
- Covering their share of costs like craft activities or desserts
The maid of honor may ask guests to contribute recipes, wine, or other items to help stock the shower within their budget.
Who Pays for the Bridal Shower Invites?
Traditionally, the maid of honor pays for designing, printing, and mailing bridal shower invitations. But with email and social media, invites have gotten more creative and expensive.
Here are some common approaches to paying for shower invites:
- DIY invitations: The maid of honor may purchase supplies and create handmade invitations to save money.
- Group collaborate: The maid of honor, bridesmaids, and mother of the bride may split costs for designed paper invitations or an online invitation suite.
- Bride pays: If the bride wants something specific like custom illustrations or calligraphy, she may offer to cover invite costs.
- Shower hostesses: If multiple hostesses are throwing the shower, they may split the invitation expenses.
No matter who foots the bill, the maid of honor traditionally oversees the invitations and manages the guest list.
Who Covers the Bridal Shower Venue?
The venue is often one of the biggest shower expenses. Here are some typical ways to pay for it:
- Host home: The maid of honor may host at her home for free. But cleanup can be tiring.
- Group pay: The maid of honor, bridesmaids, and mother of the bride may split the cost of renting a private room at a restaurant or venue.
- Covered by venue: Some restaurants or locations with private rooms will waive rental fees if you spend a certain amount on food and drinks.
- Hosted by bride’s family: The bride’s mother or other family may cover or subsidize venue costs as their shower gift.
If budget is tight, look for free community center rooms, picnic shelters, or other affordable options. Get creative!
Who Pays for the Bridal Shower Food?
Food and drinks make up a significant portion of shower costs. But catering doesn’t have to break the bank. Here are budget-friendly options:
- Potluck style: Ask guests to bring dishes to share at the shower.
- DIY catering: The hostesses can prepare simpler finger foods and desserts themselves.
- Group pitch in: Bridesmaids can each make an appetizer while the maid of honor and mother of the bride handle entrees and side dishes.
- Restaurant catering: Many restaurants will deliver platters of sandwiches, salads, or appetizers at an affordable per-person cost.
- Covered by venue: If renting a private room, the facility may provide or discount food.
Get creative with the menu to provide yummy refreshments on a budget!
Who Buys the Bridal Shower Decorations?
The maid of honor traditionally handles purchasing and setting up decorations for the bridal shower. Ways to save on this expense include:
- DIY details: Make your own decor using printable templates, tissue paper, and other inexpensive craft supplies.
- Potted plants: Use live plants that can be repurposed after the shower instead of cut flowers.
- Shared costs: Have each bridesmaid bring a few inexpensive decorative items to contribute.
- Minimalism: Choose a venue with its own personality and add just a few accents in the bride’s wedding colors.
The mother of the bride or other hostesses may also offer to pitch in on decor if needed.
Who Provides Bridal Shower Games and Activities?
Fun games and activities are a must at any bridal shower! Here are budget-friendly ways to source these:
- DIY games: The maid of honor can make cute custom games using free printables and inexpensive supplies.
- Potluck activities: Ask each bridesmaid to prepare one game or activity for guests to participate in.
- Venue offerings: Some locations provide icebreaker games or activities as part of the rental.
- Prize donations: Local businesses may donate small gifts or gift cards to use as game prizes.
Get creative with old bridal shower games or look up free printables online to make this affordable and fun.
Who Buys the Bridal Shower Favors and Supplies?
Favors or gift bags are a nice touch for shower guests. The maid of honor traditionally sources these. Cost-cutting tips include:
- DIY favors: Make custom gifts using inexpensive supplies purchased in bulk.
- Edible favors: Bake or buy simple cookies, candy, or other edible gifts to package yourself.
- Seed packets: Assemble inexpensive seed packets with flowers in the bride’s wedding colors.
- Practical favors: Offer custom emery boards, lip balms, candles, or other useful items.
Buy ribbons, gift bags, tags, and wrapping supplies in bulk. Favor materials can also be a great bridal shower gift for the hostess.
Do Bridal Shower Hosts Have to Buy Gifts?
In addition to hosting, the maid of honor and other hostesses still need to bring a gift for the bride. Ideas include:
- A nicer personal gift from the maid of honor
- Shared bridesmaid gift like a plush robe and pampering items
- Gift cards to cover wedding costs like makeup or transportation
- Couples gift if co-hosting with the bride’s sister or soon-to-be sister-in-law
- Gifts reflecting the hostess’ close relationship with the bride
Even when paying for the shower, hostesses should still provide a thoughtful gift.
How Much Should Bridal Shower Guests Spend?
Unlike couples who pay for their own weddings, shower guests are not obligated to match their gift to the value of their plate. Some tips on guest gift spending:
- Budget a minimum of $50-$75 for family and close friends.
- Spend $25-$50 for work friends, distant relatives and old friends.
- $15-$25 is fine for casual acquaintances or faraway guests.
- Consider chipping in on a group gift from a shared registry item list.
- If short on cash, give something heartfelt the bride will cherish.
The dollar amount matters less than the thought behind the gift. Focus on picking something perfect for the bride rather than an obligation to spend big.
Should Guests Pay to Attend a Bridal Shower?
Guests are not expected to pay an admission fee or cover their share of costs to attend a shower. As the hostess, you should not ask guests to chip in for things like food, venue fees, or activities. But exceptions may include:
- Potluck showers where guests volunteer dishes
- Craft activity stations where small fees cover materials
- Requesting guests bring a bottle of wine to share
- Low-key parties where guests pay their own meal tabs
Be upfront and clear if contributions will be welcome. Guests should never feel obligated to pay for mandatory participation fees.
How to Split Bridal Shower Costs Fairly
Agreeing up front who will pay for each element is key to splitting bridal shower costs fairly. Follow these steps:
- Maid of honor makes a budget and guest list with estimated headcount.
- Key hostesses decide who will cover venue, food, decor and more based on their budgets.
- Compare cost estimates to the budget and make adjustments if needed.
- Formalize plans and get agreements in writing to prevent confusion.
- Communicate clearly with all involved parties as plans progress.
Don’t be afraid to get creative on the menu, games, venue, and more to work within budgets. The bride will appreciate the thought and effort!
Sample Bridal Shower Budget Breakdown
Here is an example of how costs for a 50-person bridal shower might break down:
| Expense | Estimated Cost | Who Pays |
|---|---|---|
| Venue rental | $200 | Split between bridesmaids |
| Food and beverages | $300 | Maid of honor |
| Decorations | $50 | Mother of the bride |
| Games/activities | $75 | Maid of honor |
| Invitations | $100 | Mother of the bride |
| Favors | $125 | Maid of honor |
| Total | $850 |
Add up all your estimated expenses, then divide by the number of hostesses to fairly allocate costs.
Get Creative to Host an Affordable Shower
You don’t have to spend a fortune to host a fun, meaningful bridal shower. With savvy planning and creative solutions, you can throw a fabulous party on any budget.
- Look for free or low-cost venues like parks or community centers.
- Serve homemade treats and picnic finger foods.
- Source supplies from dollar stores, discount craft shops and online.
- Make cute DIY decorations and gifts.
- Ask bridesmaids to share their talents like photography skills.
- Mix and match high-end and budget options.
Focus on thoughtful details and bonding time with the bride rather than over-the-top extras. The bride will feel cherished while you maintain your sanity and bank account.
Set Clear Expectations for All Hosts and Helpers
Avoid headaches, hurt feelings, and surprise costs by setting clear expectations up front.
- Agree who will pay for each item and get it in writing.
- Set a clear budget the hosts must work within.
- Assign duties like food, venue, decorations to different people.
- Communicate regularly as plans develop.
- Be honest if you can’t take on an expense so adjustments can be made.
Bridal showers should be bonding, drama-free events. With good planning and communication, you can make it fun rather than stressful.
Conclusion
Traditionally, the maid of honor hosts and pays for the bridal shower. But rising wedding costs often make sharing expenses necessary. There are many creative ways to split the budget across the maid of honor, bridesmaids, mother of the bride, and guests. Set expectations up front, communicate throughout planning, and get crafty to keep things affordable. Focus on making it a thoughtful day celebrating the bride, and the costs will seem insignificant. With good planning and teamwork, you can throw a special shower without going broke. The bride will feel cherished while surrounded by loved ones.