Who moves on faster after a breakup?

Breakups are often emotional and difficult experiences. After spending a significant amount of time with someone, having that relationship come to an end can be challenging to process. Both people involved are faced with rebuilding their lives without their former partner. This process looks different for everyone, but one common question that arises is: who moves on faster after a breakup?

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Summary

There is no definitive answer to who moves on faster after a breakup. Many factors influence how quickly someone can move past a previous relationship and open themselves up to new connections. However, some general trends indicate that men tend to move on sooner than women, the partner who initiated the breakup moves on more quickly than the partner who was broken up with, and younger people tend to move on faster than older people.

Ultimately, how quickly someone moves on depends on the depth of connection in the previous relationship, emotional investment, presence of support systems, and resiliency. The partner who moves on faster is not necessarily happier or has won the breakup. Accepting the end of a relationship and building a life without one’s ex takes time and self-reflection for both parties.

Who is more likely to initiate a breakup?

Research has found some distinct patterns in who initiates breakups more often:

Men initiate breakups more often than women. Studies show that men initiate divorce 66% of the time and are more likely to end non-marital romantic relationships.

Younger people tend to initiate breakups more than older people. Younger generations may have less stigma against divorce and ending relationships.
The partner who is less invested in the relationship or feels less satisfied is more likely to initiate a breakup.
Partners who have avoidant attachment styles (feel uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness) tend to initiate breakups more.

So statistically, men and younger partners tend to initiate breakups more often than women and older partners.

Does the partner who initiated the breakup move on faster?

In many cases, the partner who initiates the breakup moves on faster than the partner who was broken up with. Here are some reasons why:

The initiator has already mentally and emotionally checked out of the relationship before ending it. They’ve accepted the finality earlier.

The initiator is able to prepare for life after the relationship and work through the grief process while still in the relationship.
The partner being broken up with may feel blindsided, rejected, and experience a longer period of adjustment.
The initiator likely has more emotional support from friends/family who know the breakup is approaching.

However, there are some exceptions to this pattern:

If the initiator feels very guilty about ending the relationship, they may have a harder time moving forward.
If the partner who was broken up with agrees it was the right decision, they may move on quickly.

If the breakup wasmutual and respectful, both parties may process it similarly.

Does attachment style impact moving on?

Attachment style, which reflects how people approach intimacy, relationships, and managing their emotional needs, does seem to impact how quickly someone moves on post-breakup:

Attachment Style	Characteristics	Impact on Moving On
Secure	Comfortable with intimacy, balances dependence/independence, optimistic about relationships	May take time to grieve but able to open up to new partners
Avoidant	Uncomfortable being close to others, very independent, difficulty trusting	More likely to initiate breakup, tends to move on quickly
Anxious	Preoccupied with relationships, intense need for closeness, fears abandonment	May struggle more with breakup grief, take longer to rebuild confidence

People with avoidant attachment styles initiate breakups more and are able to move on quickly. People with anxious styles may have greater difficulties recovering based on their fears of abandonment.

Does the depth of the relationship impact moving on speed?

Yes, the depth and closeness of the previous romantic relationship has an impact on emotional recovery and moving forward after a breakup. Some factors that influence depth and impact moving on:

Length of relationship – Longer relationships often mean stronger emotional bonds and dependence built up over time.
Living together – Cohabiting makes untangling lives after a breakup more complex.

Shared finances – More financial interdependence makes separation harder.
Kids – Having children together deepens connection and requires co-parenting after.
Intimacy level – More physical and emotional intimacy makes letting go more difficult.

A deeper relationship indicates more recovery work which may prolong moving forward. However, depth doesn’t always predict how quickly someone moves on. Individual resiliency matters too.

Do men move on faster than women after a breakup?

There is evidence that suggests men tend to move on faster than women after a breakup on average:

Men report lower levels of post-breakup grief and emotional pain than women.

Men’s grief tends to peak earlier and resolve itself sooner than women.
Women tend to have more extensive support networks to discuss breakups which can prolong processing.
Men are more likely to initiate new relationships sooner after a breakup than women.

However, this varies greatly between individuals. Not all men move on quickly and many women can move forward quickly when empowered to focus on self-care and personal goals after a breakup. But statistically, men exhibit faster emotional recovery from breakups than women.

Reasons men may move on more quickly

Men’s self-esteem is less impacted by breakups.
Men have fewer sources of emotional support which facilitates independence.

Dating new women reinforces men’s self-confidence.
Men are more sexually driven to initiate new partners.

Does age impact who moves on faster?

Younger individuals tend to move on faster from breakups than older individuals:

Younger people have less relationship experience so breakups feel less catastrophic.
College-age young adults report the fastest healing time after breakups.
Older individuals (40+) tend to have longer grieving periods and slower rebounds.

Younger people have more social and dating options to facilitate moving on.

However, factors like emotional maturity can influence moving on ability at any age. An older person with relationship skills may move on faster than a dramatic younger person.

How long does it take to move on after a breakup?

There are no definitive timelines dictating how long it takes to fully move on from a relationship. Some estimates on general emotional recovery timelines:

Around 3 months to start feeling clearer and more stable.
6-12 months to adjust to a new normal without one’s ex.
1-2 years for complete emotional recovery based on the depth of past relationship.

But individuals can take less or more time depending on personal resilience. Don’t rush through the grieving process. Honor your emotions and focus on self-care.

Tips to help move on

Cut off contact with ex if possible to avoid prolonging pain.
Express emotions to close friends or journal for catharsis.

Fill your schedule with new activities and make new social connections.
Work on forgiving yourself, your ex, and the situation.

How does the person who moves on faster feel?

The partner who moves on more quickly may feel:

Relief at having ended an unhappy relationships.
Excitement about new opportunities.
Empowered by taking control.

Guilty for hurting their ex.
Indifferent towards ex-partner.

Even if emotionally recovered, thoughtful individuals avoid flaunting new relationships and have compassion for their ex’s feelings. Moving on first does not mean “winning” the breakup.

Can the partner left behind move on first?

Despite being broken up with, the partner who was left can move forward first in some cases:

If they were privately ready for the relationship to end as well.
If they have strong self-esteem and are not codependent.

If they have relief seeing an unhappy relationship end.
If they have strong outside support systems.

Being broken up with is always painful at first. But ultimately it’s possible to bounce back quicker with resilience, reflection and support.

Conclusion

Moving on after a breakup is complicated and unique to each experience. No two relationships or recovery times are exactly alike. However, some general trends suggest men, initiators, avoidantly attached, and younger people have faster emotional recovery. But a positive mindset and healthy supports can help anyone mend from heartbreak. The partner who moves on quicker is not necessarily happier or winning. Focus on constructive grief processing and loving yourself.