Both girls and boys can be polite, though research has shown some differences in politeness between genders. Girls tend to use more polite speech and be more attentive to others in conversation. However, boys can also be polite in their own way. With the right guidance, we can teach all children to be respectful and considerate.
Do girls use more polite speech?
Studies have found that girls tend to use more polite forms of speech compared to boys. For example, girls are more likely to:
- Say “please” and “thank you”
- Use honorifics like “ma’am” and “sir”
- Apologize more frequently
- Soften requests with tag questions like “Could you pass the salt, right?”
Researchers believe this is because girls are often socialized to use polite language. Parents, teachers, and other role models tend to emphasize politeness with girls from a young age.
Are girls better listeners?
Studies indicate girls tend to exhibit more attentiveness in conversations. When speaking with others, girls are more likely to:
- Maintain eye contact
- Nod along while the other person speaks
- Ask questions to show interest
- Remember and follow up on details from previous conversations
This may stem from girls being encouraged to develop nurturing, empathetic communication skills. Meanwhile, boys are less often socialized to be attentive listeners from a young age.
Do boys show politeness in other ways?
While girls tend to use more verbal politeness, research suggests boys show consideration through actions. For example, boys are more likely to:
- Hold doors open for others
- Help someone pick up something they dropped
- Volunteer to help a teacher with a task
- Loan clothing or other belongings readily
Boys are often socialized to display gallantry and chivalry. They learn to show politeness by acting helpfully, even if they use less polite vocabulary.
How manners differ by culture
Displays of politeness can vary greatly between cultures. For example:
- In Japan, politeness involves bowing, using honorifics, and avoiding confrontation.
- Hispanic cultures emphasize chivalry and formal speech (e.g. usted vs. tu).
- Middle Eastern cultures focus on hospitality and welcoming guests.
- European cultures prize etiquette like holding doors and writing thank you notes.
While some principles are universal, expectations for politeness differ across cultural backgrounds. Children absorb the social norms of their surroundings.
Teaching politeness to all children
Here are some tips for encouraging politeness in kids of all genders:
- Model polite speech and behavior yourself.
- Praise children when they demonstrate politeness.
- Gently correct impolite speech and suggest polite alternatives.
- Role play social situations to practice manners.
- Read books highlighting polite characters.
- Discuss the importance of politeness for social relationships.
With consistent guidance, all children can develop into respectful, considerate members of society.
Conclusion
Research shows some gender differences in politeness. Girls tend to use more polite language and conversational attentiveness. Boys exhibit considerate actions to show politeness. However, these are only general tendencies – both boys and girls have the capacity for respect and courtesy. With proper guidance, we can foster polite speech and behavior in all children regardless of gender.