Falling in love can be an exhilarating and frightening experience for anyone. But research shows that some personality types may be more prone to intense romantic feelings and attachments than others. Understanding your own personality tendencies when it comes to relationships can help provide insight into how you experience love and heartbreak.
What does it mean to “fall hard” for someone?
When people say they “fall hard” in love or get attached quickly in relationships, they typically mean:
- Developing intense feelings of attraction and romance very quickly
- Fantasizing frequently about the person and the relationship
- Wanting to spend all their time with that person
- Having difficulty concentrating on anything else
- Feeling emotionally devastated after a breakup
This intensity of emotions and focus on the relationship is often characteristic of the early “honeymoon phase” of romance. But some personality types are more likely to take this to extremes or feel this way longer than others.
Personality factors that impact falling hard
Several personality traits and tendencies that can contribute to rapidly developing intense romantic feelings include:
- High emotionality – Feeling emotions strongly, becoming emotionally attached.
- Passion – Tendency to be easily inspired, driven, and excited about new relationships.
- Intuition – Focus on the symbolic meaning and possibility in relationships.
- Low self-esteem – Looking for validation and reassurance from relationships.
- Attachment style – Tendency towards anxious or avoidant attachment.
- Borderline personality traits – Unstable emotions, relationships, and sense of self.
The more someone leans towards these traits, the more susceptibility they may have towards intense emotional highs and lows in romance.
Myers-Briggs personality types most likely to fall hard
Looking at how the Myers-Briggs personality types align with these tendencies gives insight into which types may be most prone towards falling intensely in love.
INFP
INFPs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Prospecting) are one of the most likely types to fall very hard and fast in relationships. Their Intuition makes them seek greater meaning in connections. Their Feeling nature gives them high emotional investment in relationships. And their Prospecting makes them very open to new passion and excitement.
ENFP
ENFPs (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Prospecting) are also highly prone to intense romantic emotions. They feel emotions strongly, are very open to new relationships, and pursue passion and meaning in connections with others. They thrive on the excitement of romance and become fully immersed in relationships.
INFJ
INFJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) have very rich inner emotional lives and frequently idealize relationships. Their perfectionism also causes them to fantasize about the possibilities with new partners, leading to emotional intensity. But their Judging nature makes them cautious as well.
ISFP
ISFPs (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Prospecting) tend to live very much in the moment when it comes to relationships. Their Passion drives exhilaration with new partners. While their lower Judging means they often don’t consider long-term compatibility early on when caught up in romance.
Enneagram types prone to intensity in relationships
In the Enneagram personality system, these types tend to fall hardest in love:
Type 2 – The Helper
Twos love being in love. They tend to be affectionate partners focused on fulfilling the needs of the other person. But their desire to feel needed can become emotionally consuming quickly.
Type 4 – The Individualist
The emotional depth and personal uniqueness Fours seek in relationships often leads them to become passionately attached to new partners who seem to understand them.
Type 6 – The Loyalist
Sixes crave security in relationships, so the reassurance of newfound love helps them feel safe and comfortable opening up. This can lead to invested emotions early on.
Type 7 – The Enthusiast
Sevens’ excitable nature makes them fall fast and hard for the joy, passion, and possibilities new relationships provide them. But their novelty-seeking means this intensity may be short-lived.
Attachment style role in intensity of feelings
Attachment theory provides insight into how people form bonds with others. Attachment style affects how intensely someone falls in love:
| Attachment Style | Falling in Love Tendency |
|---|---|
| Secure | Develops strong but stable attachments |
| Anxious | Becomes intensely emotionally attached |
| Avoidant | Avoids closeness but fantasizes about relationships |
Those with anxious or avoidant styles are more likely to fall very hard at the first signs of reciprocated interest. This stems from insecurity and the emotional validation newfound mutual attraction provides.
Borderline personality disorder and unstable relationships
Those exhibiting symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to form immediate, intense connections to others. However, they also struggle with fears of abandonment, unstable emotions, and fluctuating self-image.
This combination results in passionate highs followed by periods of feeling unworthy, rejected, or distant. Splitting in relationships is common with BPD, seeing partners as either perfect or terrible.
Falling in love on the rebound
Getting into a new relationship immediately following a breakup, called a “rebound,” often leads to faster emotional attachment. The desire to fill the void left by an ended relationship causes people to latch onto the next available person. But this intensity is often short-lived.
Demographics that tend to fall hardest
Certain demographics also show a propensity for developing intense emotional attachments when entering new relationships:
- Younger people – Teens and young adults tend to romanticize relationships.
- Women – Some research shows women rate relationships as more important than men.
- People with mental health issues – Conditions like depression or anxiety can drive emotional dependence.
- Neurodiverse people – Individuals on the autism spectrum may develop special interests in partners.
Warning signs of an unhealthy emotional attachment
While falling hard for someone new can be exciting, it can also be detrimental. Signs that emotional intensity has become unhealthy include:
- Jealousy and possessiveness
- Loss of interest in other relationships
- Stalking or intrusive behaviors
- Feeling you cannot live without the person
- Failing to care for your own needs
- Tolerating disrespectful treatment
- Volatile emotional ups and downs
Ways to develop healthy emotional attachments
If you tend to fall too fast and hard in love, here are some tips to build healthy attachment habits instead:
- Make conscious decisions to take things slowly.
- Keep up friendships, hobbies, and your own identity.
- Watch for warning signs you are becoming obsessive or dependent.
- Avoid extensive future fantasizing about the relationship.
- Communicate your feelings honestly when needed.
- Remember that true partnership develops over time.
Conclusion
Falling head over heels in love can be a euphoric feeling but also has its risks. Personality traits like emotionality, intuition, and passion contribute to rapidly developing intense romantic attachments. Certain Myers-Briggs types like INFPs, Enneagram type Twos and Sevens, and those with anxious or avoidant attachment styles are more prone to this. But awareness of your tendencies helps prevent unhealthy emotional dependence. With consciousness and communication, passionate feelings can develop into fulfilling lifetime partnerships.