Spooning is a cozy and intimate cuddling position where two people lie on their sides facing the same direction with one person’s back pressed against the other’s front. This allows the partners to feel close physically and emotionally. When spooning, deciding what to do with your hands can impact the coziness and avoid awkwardness. There are several comfortable options for hand placement when spooning.
Why Do People Spoon?
Spooning is a popular cuddling position for couples for several reasons:
- It facilitates closeness and intimacy between partners.
- It allows both people to relax into each other.
- It enables both partners to feel each other’s warmth.
- It allows the couple to literally “sleep together” comfortably.
- It makes both partners feel protected and cared for.
The intimacy of having one partner envelop the other helps meet the human need for connection. It promotes bonding between romantic partners. Spooning is a way for couples to feel tranquility together when falling asleep or lounging around.
Where Should Your Hands Go When Spooning?
When spooning, people have various preferences for where to place their hands. Some key options include:
Hands Clasped
One classic spooning hand placement is for the couple to reach back and clasp hands with their partner. By interlocking fingers or holding hands, it allows both people to feel connected through touch. Hand holding while spooning telegraphs that “we’re in this together” during an intimate moment.
Bottom Partner’s Hands
For the partner lying in front in the “little spoon” position, options for hand placement include:
- Folding both hands together under the pillow or head.
- Letting the bottom arm hang freely off the side of the bed or sofa.
- Reaching back to touch the hip or thigh of the “big spoon” partner.
- Placing the hand over the top arm wrapped around their waist.
These allow the bottom spoon to feel comfortable and reciprocate touch if desired.
Top Partner’s Hands
For the partner lying behind as the “big spoon”, some options include:
- Wrapping their arm around the other’s waist or chest.
- Having their hand rest gently on the other’s stomach or side.
- Reaching up to caress the other’s arm, shoulder or hair.
- Sliding their hand under the bottom spoon’s head/neck as a pillow.
- Leaving their top arm extended straight with space between bodies.
This allows the big spoon to cradle their partner in a protective, loving manner.
Where Not to Place Hands When Spooning
While spooning, it’s important to keep hands at an appropriate level to avoid making the other person uncomfortable. Avoid:
- Touching breasts, genitals, or other very intimate zones.
- Gripping too tightly.
- Any touching the other person hasn’t consented to.
Keep physical touch gentle and loving. Check in if any spooning hand placement doesn’t feel right.
Tips for Deciding Hand Placement When Spooning
Here are some tips for figuring out comfy hand positions while spooning with a partner:
- Discuss preferences openly to see what feels best for both people.
- Start conservatively with hands above the waist then gauge if moving to more intimate touch feels right.
- Reciprocate by both partners consciously placing hands, not just one person.
- Synchronize movements so you shift hand placement in tandem.
- If a position becomes uncomfortable, politely communicate to find a better one.
- Don’t assume – ask if you want to try new hand holds during spooning.
- Try resting hands in a few spots, then pick what feels most natural.
With some communication and experimentation, you’ll find hand placements during spooning that meet both people’s needs.
Different Spooning Styles to Try
Beyond where to place hands, there are lots of possible variations of spooning positions to try with a partner:
Front-to-Back Spooning
The most common spooning pose with one partner as the “big spoon” cradling the other as “little spoon” from behind. Offers a full embrace.
Back-to-Front Spooning
Flipping big and little spoons so one partner is facing the other’s back. Provides a change-up on classic spooning.
Forking
Like spooning but the partners face each other chest-to-chest with legs intertwined. Allows for eye contact.
Twinning
Both partners lie on their backs with arms wrapped around each other. Comfortable for overheating.
Scissoring
Partners interlock legs while facing each other on sides. Intimate but less enveloping.
Half Spooning
Only partially overlapping bodies in a side-to-side orientation. Lowers overheating risk.
So feel free to get creative with body alignment during spooning! Just maintain affectionate physical touch.
Establishing Spooning Hand Boundaries
While exploring hand placement options for spooning, it’s wise to set some boundaries. Here are suggestions:
- Agree no groping of private parts without asking first.
- Keep roaming hands above the waist unless you discuss them going lower.
- No tickling, pinching, or other disruptive touching.
- Either partner can politely ask to reposition hands if needed.
- If you want to touch a new body part, request consent first.
- Respect if your partner declines a hand position outside their boundaries.
Abiding by each other’s physical boundaries will prevent unwanted touching and lead to truly cozy, respectful spooning.
How to Communicate About Spooning Hand Placement
Openly discussing preferences is key to finding comfy hand positions while spooning together. Some tips:
- Have the conversation outside the bedroom at first when you aren’t spooning.
- Use clear “I feel” statements rather than accusations.
- Frame requests positively – “I really like it when…” vs “Don’t do…”
- Listen carefully and don’t get defensive if your partner shares a dislike.
- Agree it’s ok to give gentle feedback in the moment about hand placement.
- Compromise so both feel cared for – don’t demand only your favorite position.
Spooning hand signals can get crossed, so keep communicating till you’re aligned on comfy hand holds for both parties.
Spooning Hand Positions for Pregnancy
When one partner is pregnant, some adjustments to spooning hand positions may be needed for mom’s comfort and support:
- Place hands on the pregnant belly to connect with baby.
- Avoid pressing too firmly on the abdomen.
- Help support the belly’s weight by cupping underside.
- Keep upper body elevated with pregnancy pillows.
- Big spoon can rest hands on mom’s back to reduce stretch on front.
- Holding hands works as pregnant bellies expand.
Communicate any discomfort and adapt hand positions to find relief for the expectant mother.
Fun Spooning Ideas to Try
Beyond hand holding techniques, some fun ideas to enhance spooning include:
- Take turns being the big and little spoons.
- Spoon naked to enjoy more intimate skin-to-skin contact.
- Occasionally spoon facing alternate directions like head-to-toe.
- Include gentle stroking of arms, hips, shoulders as you spoon.
- Whisper sweet nothings to each other as you cuddle.
- Incorporate kissing the neck, shoulders, or hands while spooning.
- Put on some soft music in the background to set the mood.
- Spoon after intimacy as a soothing comedown together.
Get playful finding new ways to connect with spooning beyond hand holding.
Best Times to Spoon With Your Partner
While you can spoon any time you feel like snuggling up, some particularly nice times include:
- Falling asleep together in bed
- Waking up lazy and cozy in the morning
- Lazing around on weekends
- Watching TV or movies on the couch
- Cuddling by the fireplace on cold nights
- Sharing a hammock on vacation
- Hugging when one partner is having a bad day
- Reuniting after business trips or time apart
Seeking physical closeness through spooning is a wonderful way to nurture intimacy. Find any opportunity to spoon when you crave that connection.
Positions to Avoid While Spooning
Most spooning positions are super comfy, but you may want to avoid:
- Having the bottom partner flat on their stomach – this can restrict breathing.
- The top partner hovering their body weight on their partner’s frame – this gets heavy.
- Bending the neck sharply backward – this can strain the throat.
- Twisting the spine excessively – this leads to soreness.
- Having one partner’s arm pinned in an uncomfortable spot – this cuts off circulation.
- Pressing the bottom partner’s arm into the mattress – this numbs the limb.
Just listen to each other’s needs and adjust accordingly!
Conclusion
Figuring out hand placement while spooning may seem like a trivial concern, but it can impact your overall comfort, intimacy and quality time connecting. There are many options like hand holding, embracing the waist or shoulders, cradling the head, caressing the arms, and more. Keep communication open, respect each other’s boundaries, and you’re sure to find hand positions that work beautifully for your unique relationship. Spooning allows partners to bask in shared warmth, care and trust through simple touch. So don’t be afraid to get a little handsy trying out cozy new spots that make your time snuggling up special.
