When a bride’s parents are divorced, it can bring up questions around who will walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. This is an important tradition for many brides, symbolizing the giving away of the bride from her family to her new spouse. However, with divorced parents, it may not be clear who should have this honor. There are a few common options that brides in this situation may consider.
Father walks her down the aisle
The most traditional option is for the bride’s father to walk her down the aisle, even if he is divorced from her mother. This signifies that he is giving away his daughter to her new husband. Unless the relationship with the father is estranged, this is often seen as the default choice.
Even if the parents have been divorced for many years, the bride may want her father to participate in this role on her wedding day. It is a symbolic gesture and does not necessarily mean the father is still extremely close to the bride. Many brides want their father to be part of the ceremony in this way regardless of the current status of their relationship.
Mother walks her down the aisle
If the bride does not have a close relationship with her father, or he is unable or unwilling to participate, the mother may step in to walk the bride down the aisle instead. This can be a meaningful option for brides who were raised primarily by their mother after the divorce.
It also provides a way for the mother to be included in the ceremony. Since traditionally the mother of the bride’s role is more limited compared to the father’s, this gives the mom a special moment to participate.
Both parents walk her down the aisle
For brides with divorced parents who maintain a civil relationship, having both the mother and father walk her down the aisle together can be a good compromise. This allows both parents to share in the experience and honor.
Logistically, the bride stands between the parents and holds each of their arms as they walk down the aisle. Or, if preferred, one parent can stand on either side of the bride with no arms linked. This approach reflects the reality that both parents have played a significant role in the bride’s life.
Bride walks alone or with groom
Some modern brides choose to walk down the aisle solo, without either parent alongside. This can be empowering for brides who feel their independence should be highlighted. It also avoids any complications of choosing which divorced parent should participate.
Brides also sometimes choose to walk down the aisle with their groom, entering together as an already-formed unit. This equal partnership approach appeals to some couples more than the tradition of the bride being “given away” by her father.
Stepparent or other relative walks bride down aisle
Brides whose parents are both absent or unwilling to participate sometimes choose to be walked down the aisle by a stepparent instead. This recognizes the role of stepparents who have been a major part of raising the bride.
In some cases, another important relative such as a grandfather, uncle, or older brother may take on this role. The bride is given options to choose whoever she feels closest to or holds in high regard to accompany her down the aisle.
Have both parents play a role
When both divorced parents want to be involved, some creative brides find ways to include both in complementary roles. For example, the father could walk the bride down the aisle, while the mother does a reading during the ceremony. Or the mother walks the bride down the first portion of the aisle before handing her over to the father to complete the journey to the altar. With open communication and flexibility, accommodations can often be made to allow participation by both.
Conclusion
There are many options for brides with divorced parents to thoughtfully consider when thinking about who will walk them down the wedding aisle. From fathers and mothers to other relatives or going solo, the decision should reflect what will make the bride most comfortable and happy. Open dialog within the family allows divorced parents to understand the bride’s wishes and try to make this meaningful moment special for all.
Considerations for Who Will Walk Bride Down Aisle
When making the decision on who will walk a bride down the aisle if her parents are divorced, there are several factors she may want to take into account.
Current relationship with each parent
The current closeness of the bride’s relationship to each parent will likely impact who she chooses for this role. If her relationship with her father is distant, while the mother has been a source of support through the years, that context matters. Letting the emotions and history with each parent guide her choice is important.
Level of involvement in wedding planning
In some cases, which divorced parent has been more involved in the wedding preparations can influence the bride’s decision. A parent who has attended planning sessions, helped coordinate details, and been an active part of the process may be seen as more appropriate for participation.
Parents’ relationship with each other
For parents who have an extremely contentious relationship even years after their divorce, the bride may hesitate to have both involved in walking her down the aisle. If there is lingering animosity or inability to get along, she may choose just one parent to avoid friction.
Desire to honor tradition
Despite any family circumstances, some brides desire to follow the long-standing tradition of their father walking them down the aisle. This reflects their wishes to have a wedding as classic and traditional as possible, following customary etiquette.
Sibling’s precedent
The bride may look to choices her siblings have made for guidance. If her sister had both divorced parents walk her down the aisle, doing the same can feel right as a family custom.
Talking to Parents About the Decision
It is wise for brides in this situation to have open and honest conversations with their divorced parents as they make this decision. Being sensitive to any hurt feelings or disputes over participation is important.
Some tips when broaching the subject include:
- Speaking to each parent privately before making a final choice
- Making clear it is the bride’s decision alone
- Explaining any symbolic meaning behind her choice
- Being transparent if one parent will participate over the other
- Suggesting other ceremonial roles the parents can fulfill
- Keeping the conversations as understanding and compassionate as possible
With insight into the bride’s wishes and reasoning, divorced parents are often willing to put any differences aside and make the day special for their daughter. This reflects their love and the milestone the wedding represents.
Who Typically Walks Bride Down Aisle
Though traditions have expanded to be more flexible, historically the practice of giving away the bride was part of cementing family alliances. Customarily, the following family members walk a bride down the aisle.
Father of the Bride
In traditional weddings, the father of the bride serves as the one to walk her down the aisle. This symbolizes him giving his daughter away to join with her new spouse. It is a gesture of trust in the groom to care for her moving forward.
Mother of the Bride
If the father is absent or the bride feels closer to her mother, the mother may instead have the honor. Especially in cases of divorce or estrangement from the father, choosing the mother is meaningful.
Stepparent
For brides close to a stepparent who helped raise them, a stepfather or stepmother may substitute and give them away.
Other Family Member
Any other relative or family friend who has played an important role in the bride’s life can participate. Grandfathers, uncles, brothers, and mentors have all served in this capacity.
Groom
Some egalitarian couples prefer to walk down the aisle together rather than the bride being given away. The symbolism emphasizes their partnership and equality.
No one
The bride can also choose to process down the aisle solo as an independent woman not needing to be given away. This feminist approach appeals to some brides.
Meaning of Father Walking Bride Down Aisle
The tradition of a father walking his daughter down the aisle developed in previous eras when marriages served societal functions and were less about love.
Some key meanings of this symbolism include:
- The father is entrusting his daughter’s wellbeing to her husband
- He is relinquishing familial authority over her
- The bride is being escorted into her new adult role as a wife
- The family is showing approval of the union
- The father is “giving the bride away” to her new family
While some brides still embrace this tradition, others see it as outdated or sexist. The meaning ascribed can differ based on the bride’s values and relationship with her father.
Table: Pros and Cons of Father Walking Bride Down Aisle
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Upholds tradition | Can feel outdated or sexist to some |
| Lets father participate | Assumes close relationship with father |
| Often expected by guests | Diminishes bride’s autonomy and independence |
| A familiar custom | Symbols ownership and transfer of bride |
| Provides a sweet moment if father-daughter bond is strong | Emotional pressure even if father is absent or abusive |
logistics of Having Both Parents Walk Bride Down Aisle
Having both divorced parents walk a bride down the aisle together requires some additional planning and coordination.
Where should each parent stand?
The bride will be situated between both parents. Traditionally, the mother stands on the left and the father on the right. This formation allows the bride to hold onto both parents’ arms as they process down the aisle.
Should arms be linked?
The visual of linking arms makes it clear the bride has the support of both parents. However, if either parent is uncomfortable linking arms, they can simply walk by the bride’s side without physically connecting.
Do parents have to interact or communicate?
Parents should coordinate timing with the wedding planner but do not need to interact during the processional. Focus remains on the bride, not on any tension between parents.
Where do parents sit during ceremony?
Seating arrangements should separate divorced parents to opposite sides of the ceremony seating area. This minimizes proximity and chances for any friction.
Do both parents attend reception?
Traditionally, both parents would be present for the reception. But accommodations can be made for divorced parents who prefer not to mingle for an extended time, such as attending only part of the event.
Can they share other ceremonial roles?
Divorced parents walking the bride down the aisle together does not preclude each also having an additional role, such as readings, blessings or dances at the wedding.
How to Decide Who Will Walk Bride Down Aisle
When parents are divorced, the bride may feel conflicted about who should walk her down the aisle. Here are some tips on making this decision:
- Reflect on current relationship quality with each parent
- Consider any religious/cultural traditions that are important
- Think about who has been more involved in wedding planning
- Weigh the opinion of any partner/fiancé
- Discuss options with parents and get their thoughts
- Ask close friends for outside perspective
- Decide if you want to uphold tradition or not
- Remember it is your special day, so choose what feels right for you
There is no right or wrong decision, as long as the bride thoughtfully considers her options. The person who walks with her should add to the meaning of the ceremony rather than cause distraction or discord on this momentous occasion. With open communication and compassion, divorced parents often support their daughter’s choice.
Creative Solutions to Include Divorced Parents
For brides hoping to give divorced parents a special role, while avoiding conflict, here are some creative inclusive solutions:
Father walks bride down aisle, mother does reading
This allows the father to have the traditional moment but gives the mother a meaningful part too.
Mother walks bride down aisle, father gives toast at reception
Let the mother take the ceremonial role, while the father speaks at the celebration.
Each parent walks bride halfway down aisle
The mother accompanies the bride to the middle, then the father walks her the rest of the way. Or vice versa.
Father walks bride down aisle, but mother gets first dance
This balances the visibility of each parent at significant moments.
Both parents dance with bride at reception
Sharing a special dance can be meaningful for both her mom and dad.
Parents each light a unity candle with bride and groom
This symbolic ritual lets both parents take part.
Conclusion
Deciding who will walk a bride down the aisle can be tricky when her parents are divorced. But with empathy and openness, accommodations can usually be made so all key family members feel included. The bride should make the choice based on her own desires and what will make her wedding day most special.