Psychopaths can be charming, charismatic, and manipulative individuals who have a tendency to exploit others for their own gain. Although psychopaths make up only 1% of the general population, their destructive behaviors can have devastating impacts on those around them, especially romantic partners. So what type of person tends to get involved in a relationship with a psychopath? Here we explore the common psychological traits and tendencies that can make someone vulnerable to the manipulation of a psychopathic partner.
Low Self-Esteem
One of the most common traits of people who get into relationships with psychopaths is low self-esteem. When someone lacks confidence and has insecurities about themselves or their worth, they are more susceptible to the love-bombing techniques psychopaths use to reel their victims in. By showering a target with flattery, gifts, and promises of an amazing future together, a psychopath is able to build up the self-esteem of their victim and make them feel special. This emotional manipulation helps create a strong trauma bond early on in the relationship.
Unfortunately when that love-bombing shifts to criticism, lying, and manipulation, the person’s confidence gets worn down again. But because their sense of self-worth has become tied to how the psychopath sees them, they continue trying desperately to win back the affection they crave. This push-pull dynamic amplifies emotional trauma and makes the abused partner dependant on their psychopathic abuser.
History of Abuse or Trauma
Individuals who have a history of abuse, neglect or trauma in childhood are also more vulnerable to becoming involved with a psychopath. Having been mistreated at a young age can skew a person’s perception of what constitutes healthy love and intimacy. Consequently, they may be more tolerant of the early red flags of manipulative or abusive behavior from a romantic partner. Psychopaths have a predatory ability to detect vulnerabilities, so they often target people who have visible signs of low self-worth or past emotional wounds.
Being raised in a dysfunctional home environment also tends to normalize toxic relationship dynamics. If someone grew up witnessing a parent being belittled, controlled, or mistreated, they are at greater risk of winding up in an abusive relationship themselves. The dysfunctional patterns feel familiar and they may have low expectations of what a loving partnership should actually entail.
Empaths and Highly Sensitive People
So called ’empaths’ are also frequent targets of psychopaths. Empaths are highly sensitive and emotionally intuitive people who tend to be very compassionate, conscientious, and attuned to the feelings of others. While these are wonderful traits, they also make empaths vulnerable. Their desire to alleviate suffering and see the good in everyone, even bad people, leaves them open to manipulation from those looking to exploit others.
Unfortunately, psychopaths are exceptionally skilled at pretending to be vulnerable and in need of healing in order to elicit sympathy and affection from an empath. And when the empath extends caring and compassion, this cements a trauma bond that the psychopath continues to exploit through lies and manipulation. Empaths end up drained, emotionally destroyed, and often riddled with guilt and self-blame by the time the psychopath discards them.
Codependent Tendencies
People who exhibit codependent patterns are prime targets for psychopaths as well. Codependency refers to a compulsive need to take care of other people, often at the expense of one’s own needs and boundaries. Codependents crave love, affection, and being needed by their partner. They derive their sense of purpose and self-worth from the role of being a caregiver, helper, or martyr.
This makes them ideal victims for psychopaths to exploit. The psychopath showers them with attention and affection early on, making the codependent feel like they’ve finally found the purpose they’ve been longing for. But that emotional fulfillment is conditional on the codependent continuing to prop up the psychopath’s ego, comply with their demands, and tolerate their cruel or abusive behavior.
Codependents often have a hard time leaving toxic relationships even when it is clearly the best thing to do. Their caretaking compulsions and lack of self-regard keeps them trapped in the cycle of abuse.
Loneliness and Social Isolation
Feeling lonely, socially isolated, or like an ‘outsider’ is another emotional vulnerability that makes people susceptible to a psychopath’s manipulations. Humans are inherently social creatures with an innate need to belong. When someone lacks close friendships or a social support network, a psychopathic romantic partner can easily fill that void.
By grooming a target who feels lonely or alienated from others, the psychopath ensures this person will become reliant on them to meet their social needs. Once socially isolated from outside friends and family, the victim becomes increasingly dependent on their psychopathic abuser. This enhances their control and makes it much harder for the victim to break away.
Neuroticism
The personality trait of neuroticism also seems to correlate with vulnerability to psychopathic victimization. Neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience more frequent and intense negative emotions like anxiety, insecurity, self-consciousness and vulnerability. People high in neuroticism tend to have lower self-esteem as well.
This combination makes neurotic individuals more reactive to emotional manipulation tactics like gaslighting, love bombing, and verbal abuse. Their intense negative emotional responses actually reinforce the psychopath’s sense of power and control over the relationship.
Neurotic people also crave stability, so the unpredictability of the psychopath ends up putting them in a constant state of trying to de-escalate conflict and regain the illusion of a stable bond.
Addiction and Mental Health Issues
Struggling with mental health disorders like depression, addiction, PTSD or BPD is also a risk factor for victimization by a psychopath. The challenges of managing mental illness often leave a person with impaired emotional regulation, poorer interpersonal skills and low self-worth. This combination makes it harder to recognize and enforce healthy boundaries.
A psychopath can present themselves as a caring supporter or ‘savior’ figure by gaining intimacy and trust with the vulnerable individual under the pretense of providing help and stability. But this concern is just a facade. In reality, the psychopath responds with criticism, manipulation and aggression when their victim does not comply with their demands.
The power imbalance and emotional rollercoaster is amplified for someone already struggling with mental health or addiction challenges. Their symptoms may worsen due to the stress and trauma of the abusive relationship, making escape even more difficult.
Agreeable and Conflict-Avoidant
Agreeable people who avoid interpersonal conflict are also common targets for psychopathic manipulation in relationships. Being naturally trusting, compliant and eager to please makes someone an ideal pawn for exploitation. They are less likely to question ulterior motives or stand up for themselves when boundaries are crossed.
Their aversion to rocking the boat keeps them stuck denying, minimizing or excusing the psychopath’s troubling behaviors. They rationalize poor treatment as being their fault and cling to hope that the relationship will get better if they become more accommodating.
Of course this is a losing strategy when dealing with psychopathy. But their conflict avoidance blinds them to the reality that setting hard boundaries and leaving may be the only way to save themselves.
| Psychological Trait | Vulnerability Factor |
|---|---|
| Low self-esteem | More susceptible to love bombing, less likely to leave abusive relationship |
| History of abuse/trauma | Higher tolerance for red flags, trauma bonding |
| Codependent traits | Seeks purpose through caretaking role, poor boundaries |
| Loneliness/social isolation | Psychopath fills social void, enhanced dependence |
| Neuroticism | Emotionally reactive, constant “fight for stability” |
| Empaths | Compassion exploited, guilt/self-blame trapped in abuse cycle |
| Addiction/mental illness | Impaired regulation and boundaries, vulnerable to “savior” act |
| Agreeableness | Avoids conflict, reluctant to set hard boundaries |
Conclusion
In conclusion, a wide range of psychological and emotional vulnerabilities can increase someone’s risk of becoming romantically involved with a psychopath. While psychopathic partners ultimately choose who to target for strategic reasons, certain traits like low self-esteem, past trauma, loneliness and agreeableness tend to make people more persuadable. Seeking support, setting boundaries and being aware of manipulation tactics are key to avoiding victimization.