Throughout history, humans have associated certain plants with emotions and meanings. Plants can express sentiments without using words. Flowers specifically have an age-old association with human feelings. Certain blooms represent grief, loss, mourning or sadness. These plants are often used in funeral arrangements, condolence gifts or memorials. Knowing what flowers signify grief can help you choose suitable plants when paying respect to the departed or supporting the bereaved.
Flowers Associated with Grief
Here are some of the most common flowers, herbs and plants that represent grief, loss and bereavement:
Lilies
Lilies are one of the most popular flowers used to express grief and convey sympathy to the bereaved. Their blood red color evokes sadness and sorrow. It is believed lilies sprang up from the ground where Eve’s tears fell when she was expelled from the Garden of Eden. White lilies symbolize purity and innocence – they are associated with the soul’s rebirth into paradise. Asiatic and tiger lilies with their showy, bright colors lend vitality and warmth to funeral arrangements.
Carnations
Carnations denote mourning and condolence, especially white carnations. It is said the first carnations sprouted from the Virgin Mary’s tears as she wept for Jesus before his crucifixion. The pink carnation is the official Mother’s Day flower, so it represents a mother’s undying love. Purple carnations indicate capriciousness, which reflects the uncertainty of loss.
Chrysanthemums
In many European countries, chrysanthemums are symbolic of grief and lamentation. Their somber colors like deep red, brown, grey and purple evoke melancholy. In some cultures, placing a single chrysanthemum on a grave signifies the loss of a child. Chrysanthemums are popular for All Saints Day and All Souls Day memorials.
Gladioli
Gladioli blooms ranged from white, pink, orange to burgundy represent sorrow, remembrance and infatuation. Their dramatic spikes add movement and energy to grief arrangements. The gladiolus means “sword” in Latin, reminding us of the sword that pierced Christ’s side at the crucifixion.
Poppies
Red poppies symbolize grief, death and eternal sleep. They are used to commemorate veterans and war dead. Poppies grow naturally in the battle-scarred fields of Flanders, immortalized in the war poem “In Flanders Field.” Women sold artificial poppies to support servicemen, which sparked the tradition of wearing poppies to honor the fallen.
Roses
Roses have complex meanings, but dark crimson and black roses represent grief, loss and farewell. A single black rose conveys heartache and goodbye. The “black rose of halfeti” is a rare Turkish flower that through mutation appears a deep burgundy color. Dark roses wither quicker than other colors, reflecting life’s ephemeral nature.
Statice
Commonly known as sea lavender, statice flowers signify sympathy, mourning and remembrance. The flowers last long after being cut, representing lasting memory. Statice comes in calming shades like white, blue, purple and lavender. The dried flower retains its color and fragrance.
Orchids
White or purple orchid arrangements evoke grief, longing, respect and dignity. Purple orchids specifically represent mourning. In ancient Greece, orchids were associated with virility and male energy. Today, orchid arrangements symbolize the celebration of a loved one’s life.
Iris
Irises portray faith, hope, wisdom and valor. The three petals represent faith, wisdom and valor – the three pillars of human enlightenment. Dark purple and blue irises convey wisdom and dignity. Irises are laid on graves and tombs to represent eternal life, rebirth and spiritual radiance.
Daffodils
The daffodil embodies rebirth, beginnings and renewal. It blooms in spring, bursting forth with new life. But the unopened daffodil bud represents grief and mourning in Victorian flower language. The daffodil’s life cycle reflects the human experience – growth, life, death and reemergence.
Hyacinths
Hyacinths denote sincerity, unconditional love and rashness. Purple hyacinths represent grief, sorrow and regret. According to Greek myth, the hyacinth flower sprouted from the blood of Hyacinthus, who died accidentally by a discus thrown by Apollo. The bulb signifies rebirth.
Willow
Willow trees and branches are universal symbols of sadness and grief. Throughout history, mourners carried willow sprigs at funerals. The willow’s fluid, bending limbs evoke weeping and woe. Willows thrive near water, serving as metaphors for tears and the human connection to emotions.
Cypress
Ancient civilizations associated cypress trees with mourning the dead and the underworld. Cypress wood was used to build coffins and tombs. More recently, Italian cemeteries began planting cypress trees as symbols of grief. The pine tree’s pyramid shape evokes Egyptian obelisks and timelessness.
Herbs and Plants for Grieving
Beyond cut flowers, herbs and plants can also represent sorrow and commemoration. Here are some botanicals related to grief:
Yew
Also called “the graveyard tree,” yew plants often grow in church cemeteries. Yew trees can live thousands of years. The yew represents the soul’s eternity, reconnecting us to those who have passed. Consuming yew can be toxic, reminding us of death’s darkness.
Hemlock
An herb associated with death and mourning, hemlock represents grief and bitterness. In ancient Greece, hemlock was used to make a tea to execute prisoners as a form of capital punishment. The plant contains toxic alkaloids.
Amaranth
Amaranth flowers represent eternity in Victorian flower language. According to Greek legend, amaranth was immortal and never faded. Thus, it symbolizes our spiritual connection to the deceased. Amaranth’s deep burgundy blooms evoke melancholy.
Nightshade
More commonly known as belladonna, nightshade signifies silence and death. All parts of the nightshade plant contain toxic tropane alkaloids. Herbalists historically used nightshade as part of “witch’s flying ointment.” Nightshade impairment reflects distorted perception after losing a loved one.
Myrrh
An aromatic resin derived from the Commiphora myrrha tree, myrrh represents suffering and death. In the Bible, myrrh was one of three gifts presented to baby Jesus by the Three Wise Men. Following crucifixion, Jesus’ body was anointed with myrrh and aloe. Myrrh remains popular in religious ceremonies.
Basil
In India, basil symbolizes mourning and is not used during auspicious ceremonies like weddings. However, in Italy, basil represents love. This duality reflects the emotions surrounding loss – sadness meets nostalgia. Basil offers aromatherapy benefits and calms nerves.
Colors Linked to Grief
Purple
In Western cultures, purple represents grief, mourning and bereavement. Historically, purple fabrics dyed with mollusk secretions were rare and expensive. They became associated with royalty and aristocracy. Purple also reminds us of dignity, wisdom and spirituality. Light purple conveys nostalgia.
Black
Black represents death, darkness, the underworld and evil in many cultures. But it has also signified class and prestige. At funerals in the West, black clothes are the traditional color of mourning. Black roses convey farewell. Black is the color of burial garments in Islam.
White
White invokes purity, innocence and the rebirth of the soul in many religions. White lilies specifically convey renewed innocence after death. In Asia, white clothing is worn at funerals, representing the soul’s transition to the afterlife. At Japanese funerals, white chrysanthemums symbolize grief.
Grey
Grey signifies gloom, sadness, depression and mourning. Light grey represents stone tombs and church graveyards. Dark or stormy grey evokes dreariness and gloom matching a heavy heart. In Victorian times, women transitioned their mourning clothes from black to grey to lavender.
Tattoos Honoring Loss
Memorial tattoos help us cope with grief and memorialize people we’ve lost. Here are some popular tattoos designs to commemorate loved ones:
| Tattoo | Meaning |
| Rose | Beauty, love, grief |
| Forget-me-nots | Remembrance |
| Dove | Peace, hope, resurrection |
| Cross | Faith, Christianity, afterlife |
| Angel wings | Rebirth in heaven |
| Anchor | Hope, safety |
| Heart | Love, loss |
| Infinity sign | Eternity, continuity |
Other Symbols of Grief
We use many non-plant symbols to represent grief and commemoration:
- Tombstones – Mark gravesites and memorialize the dead
- Urns – Contain cremated remains of the deceased
- Mausoleums – Houses tombs and dead bodies
- Coffins – Hold the body for burial ceremonies
- Cemeteries – Sites for burial and remembering the departed
- Monuments – Statues commemorating lives lost
- Wreaths – Circular floral arrangements left on graves
- Candles – Represent the soul’s light
- Butterflies – Symbolize resurrection and transformation
Myths and Legends About Plants and Grief
The Myth of Adonis
In this Greek tale, the goddess Aphrodite loved the beautiful mortal Adonis. While hunting, Adonis died when a wild boar gored him. Legend says Aphrodite cried tears of blood, turning white anemone flowers red. The anemone represents unfading love and sorrowful death.
Cyparissus and the Cypress Tree
Another Greek myth explains the cypress’ link to mourning. A boy named Cyparissus accidentally killed his favorite tame deer. His grief was so immense that the gods immortalized him as the cypress tree, which became a symbol of despair.
Hyacinthus and Apollo
The hyacinth flower sprang from the spilled blood of the beautiful youth Hyacinthus after he was killed in a tragic discus throwing accident by his lover Apollo. The purple hyacinth represents Apollo’s regret and mourning.
The Legend of the Poppy
According to Greek legend, the poppy’s scarlet color came from the blood of Aphrodite’s slain lover Adonis. When the goddess traveled to the underworld to find him, her footsteps left white poppies in her wake. Red poppies symbolized death and white poppies represented innocence.
World Traditions for Flowers and Death
Western Funerals
In America and Europe, lilies, roses and carnations are traditional funeral flowers. Church services often display white lilies and roses. Wreaths, sprays and bouquets using roses, chrysanthemums, gladiolas and iris offer vibrant yet respectful beauty.
Hindu Traditions
In Hindu culture, flowers like chrysanthemums and marigolds are used to decorate burial sites. Loose flower petals may be scattered over graves during memorial services. Flowers are central to puja rituals. The color and fragrance transmit prayers.
Chinese Funerals
White chrysanthemums symbolize lamentation in China, where they are funeral staples. Peonies mean honor and are displayed by the coffin. Lotus buds signify a life cut short. Wilted flowers represent extinction of the soul. Entire arrangements are burned as offerings to the dead.
Jewish Traditions
Instead of flowers, small stones, pebbles or rocks are traditionally placed on Jewish graves. This signifies that the deceased’s memory lives on in the hearts of visitors. The stone memorial will not fade like flowers. Evergreen wreaths may also decorate Jewish graves.
Mexican Culture
Marigolds or cempasúchil are the quintessential flowers used at Day of the Dead altars and graves in Mexico. Their bright orange color represents the sun and rebirth. The flower’s scent guides deceased spirits. Copal incense, candles and sugar skulls adorn ofrendas.
Japanese Funerals
In Japan, chrysanthemums again represent grief, lamentation and death. Black and white flowers pair together to reflect sorrow and loss. Bamboo stems symbolize longevity and prosperity. Sakaki leaves are offerings to gods ensuring the afterlife journey.
Conclusion
Whether you need funeral flowers or a condolence gift, choose plants that convey grief, sadness, respect, hope or courage. Consider the deceased’s personality and life. Select meaningful colors like white, purple, red or pink. Include herbs and plants that represent eternal rest or ongoing love. Let floristry help express your shared loss. The right blooms communicate sympathy beyond words.