The First Few Months
The first few months with a new baby are often considered the most challenging. Newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours, even throughout the night. This round-the-clock feeding schedule leaves many new parents extremely sleep deprived. Additionally, newborns cry a lot, especially in the evenings, due to gas pains, hunger, or just needing comfort. Coping with the crying and trying to figure out what the baby needs can be very difficult for new parents.
Lack of Sleep
In the first 3 months, most babies do not sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time, requiring parents to wake up multiple times a night to feed them. This severe lack of continuous sleep is exhausting for parents.
| Age | Average night sleep |
|---|---|
| 1 month | 2-3 hours |
| 3 months | 3-4 hours |
The frequent night wakings make it very difficult to feel well-rested. New parents often struggle with intense fatigue, irritability, and an inability to focus or be productive during the day. It’s a huge adjustment to go from sleeping soundly through the night to being woken up every couple of hours.
Overwhelming Responsibility
Bringing a newborn baby home is accompanied by an enormous sense of responsibility. While incredibly exciting, caring for a helpless infant that is completely dependent on you can also be emotionally and mentally draining. There are so many unknowns and first-time parents often worry about doing everything “right.” Is the baby eating enough? Is my baby healthy? Am I holding/changing/bathing him properly? These concerns are perfectly normal but can still feel incredibly overwhelming.
Many new moms also worry about connecting and bonding with their baby. The demands of an infant can take a toll on the parents’ relationship as well. Essentially every aspect of life changes after having a baby, which can be a huge adjustment. Parents must take care of a helpless newborn while also trying to care for themselves and their relationship – an enormous undertaking. The 24/7 demands and concerns for an infant’s well-being make the first 3 months intensely challenging, even with a healthy baby.
4-6 Months
While the first three months with a newborn are typically the hardest, months 4-6 also pose significant challenges for many parents. Here are some of the biggest struggles during this time:
Sleep Regressions
Around 4 or 6 months, many babies go through sleep regressions where they suddenly start waking up frequently again after having longer sleep stretches. They may struggle to fall back asleep unless nursed or rocked. This can be extremely frustrating and tiring for parents who felt they were getting more sleep finally. The constant night wakings return, leaving parents exhausted all over again.
Teething Begins
Most babies start teething around 4-7 months old. Swollen gums, excessive drooling, and chewing on everything are signs teething has begun. The teeth moving through the gums causes immense discomfort and pain for babies. Common teething symptoms parents must cope with include increased crying, difficulty sleeping, irritability, and wanting to nurse constantly for comfort. Teething can disrupt a previously “easy” baby very quickly.
Increased Demands from Baby
Whereas newborns sleep most of the day, babies become much more alert and active around 4 months old. They need far more stimulation and interaction during their wake windows, which can be physically and mentally tiring for parents. Babies also become more aware of surroundings and strangers, potentially causing separation anxiety from parents. Their cries become more distinctive, making it easier to identify needs, but it also means babies communicate discomfort more. Parents must devote more focused time and energy toward theirbaby.
Mobility Milestones
Major motor milestones like rolling over, sittingup, and crawling typically happen between 4-6 months. While exciting, increased mobility requires extra baby-proofing and vigilance from parents. Once babies can move around, they quickly get themselves into trouble as their curiosity grows. Parents must keep a close eye on babies during this time and prepare their home for safety as their baby becomes more mobile. Exhaustion from chasing a crawling baby can set in quickly!
Introduction of Solid Foods
Starting solids between 4-6 months brings a whole new set of challenges as well. Babies have to adjust to different textures and swallowing. Many parents worry about knowing what to feed, potential allergies, and choking hazards. Additionally, introducing solids often disrupts a baby’s sleep patterns further. Starting solids is a huge learning curve for both baby and parents during an already demanding time.
9-12 Months
While typically less intense than the newborn period, months 9-12 still pose difficulties for many parents:
Increased Physical Demands
At this age, babies are extremely active and curious as they crawl/walk around and get into everything. Childproofing is essential during this time. Parents are on their feet all day chasing after the energetic baby. The physical demands of carrying, running after, and keeping up with an active older infant require stamina.
Discipline and Boundary Setting
Babies this age understand “no” but test boundaries frequently. Parents must start disciplining and setting limits on behavior, which can be challenging. Distracting or redirecting a determined toddler requires creativity and patience. Tantrums often emerge during this time as well. Dealing with normal but defiant toddler behavior tests parents.
Less Predictable Schedules
By a year old, most babies have stopped regularly napping 2 times per day. Their sleep/feeding schedules become less predictable compared to a young infant. Accommodating the changing needs of an older, active baby can be tough for parents’ schedules and routines.
Severe Separation Anxiety
Babies 9-12 months old often go through intense separation anxiety from their primary caregivers. They become extremely distressed when parents leave and are no longer easily soothed when held by other adults. Leaving your crying infant with someone else, even just to run a quick errand, can be very emotionally difficult during this stage.
Picky Eating
Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters. After only eating purees or breastmilk for their whole life, babies this age suddenly become opinionated about their food preferences. Mealtimes can turn into daily battles. Trying to offer a balanced diet while accommodating a finicky toddler’s food refusals makes feeding very frustrating.
Conclusion
While every baby is unique, the first 12 months are often the most challenging period of parenthood. The earliest months with a newborn tend to be the most difficult overall due to the constant demands and new parents’ inexperience. But major milestones around 4-6 months like sleep regressions, teething, and mobility can also make this time very tough. As babies near toddlerhood around 9-12 months, the new parenting struggles of discipline, separation anxiety, picky eating, and keeping up with an energetic child emerge. However, the challenges and rewards of each new phase help prepare parents for the next one. With time, skills, and trial-and-error, parents learn to navigate each stage of baby’s first year.