Firefighters have a tough and dangerous job. They work long shifts, deal with traumatic situations, and risk their lives to save others. This challenging career can put a lot of stress on firefighters’ personal relationships. Divorce is unfortunately common among firefighters. Understanding the divorce rate and causes can help firefighters, their spouses, and departments take steps to strengthen marriages.
What is the divorce rate for firefighters?
Studies show that firefighters have a higher divorce rate than people in many other professions. Exact statistics vary between studies, but the divorce rate among firefighters is estimated to be:
– Between 16-22% get divorced before retiring from the fire service. This is significantly higher than the under 13% divorce rate among all occupations.
– Around 43% of firefighter marriages end in divorce, over double the 20% national U.S. average.
– 70% of firefighters have been divorced at least once during their careers.
So in summary, at least 16-22% of firefighter marriages end in divorce while firefighters are still actively working. And around 70% of firefighters get divorced at some point throughout their careers and lifetimes.
Why is the divorce rate higher for firefighters?
Several factors related to the firefighter lifestyle contribute to the increased divorce rate:
Long shifts
Firefighters typically work 24 hour shifts. This results in long absences from home and disrupts family life. The spouse bears a heavy burden handling household and childcare duties alone. Fatigue from long shifts can make firefighters irritable at home. The irregular schedule also means they miss out on many weekends, holidays, and special occasions.
Trauma and stress
Firefighters experience very stressful and traumatic situations including:
- Witnessing death and serious injuries
- Risking their own lives
- Making split-second life and death decisions
- Seeing children and families in tragic circumstances
This takes a psychological toll. Firefighters have higher rates of PTSD, depression, and addiction issues. Unresolved trauma can impair relationships. Many firefighters try to numb pain with alcohol. Spouses may not fully understand the pressures firefighters face.
Lack of communication
Bottling up intense emotions can harm relationships. Some firefighters are reluctant to burden spouses by talking about traumatic calls. Pride can get in the way of seeking counseling. Poor communication prevents couples from getting needed support from each other.
Rapid schedule changes
Firefighters may suddenly get called in for emergencies. Plans and special occasions get cancelled at the last minute. This disruption and uncertainty strains couples’ lives.
Financial stress
Firefighters earn decent middle-class salaries. But financial issues still cause marital problems:
- Irregular overtime pay makes budgeting difficult.
- Firefighting jobs often require living in expensive metro areas.
- Risk of disability or death on the job leads to worry about providing for the family.
- Retirement pay is much lower than active duty salary.
Lack of time for their marriage
With demanding jobs and parenthood, couples don’t devote enough effort to nurturing their marriages. They fail to make their relationship a priority. Marriage problems slowly accumulate and worsen over time.
Infidelity
Unfortunately, firefighter culture has been associated with a high incidence of adultery. Factors contributing to cheating include:
- Opportunities to be unfaithful during long shifts away from home.
- Stress driving people to make bad choices.
- Some firehouses have a casual attitude towards infidelity.
- Exposure to traumatic events causing people to seek unhealthy escapes.
- Younger firefighters may have immaturity and impressionability.
Of course, many firefighters remain committed and faithful. But the high-pressure environment does lead some to stray. Infidelity often permanently destroys trust.
Does divorce risk increase at certain points in a firefighter’s career?
Marital problems tend to worsen at predictable career milestones:
In the first few years
New firefighters are adjusting to the job’s demanding pace and trauma. Couples may not have developed good coping strategies yet.
After 5-10 years
Enough time has passed for emotional strain and communication lapses to accrue damages. The excitement of a new career has worn off. Settlement into routine causes partners to take each other for granted.
In mid-career
Cumulative stress starts to take its toll. The aging process increases safety risks. Advancement slows down, reducing job satisfaction. Some firefighters struggle through a mid-career crisis.
Nearing retirement
Anxiety about surviving without the purpose and community of firefighting adds stress. Lower retirement income requires budget changes. Couples who depended on the job to give their lives meaning must now re-center their marriage.
Does having children affect divorce rates?
Parenthood adds challenges. But studies show that having children may slightly reduce divorce risk for firefighters:
– In one study, 83% of divorced firefighters had no children, while 17% had 1 or more kids.
– Unmarried firefighters were found over twice as likely to be childless as married ones.
Possible explanations:
- Children give couples a sense of meaning and mutual purpose.
- Partners make more effort to stay together for the kids.
- Firefighters want to be present, involved parents.
However, couples must work hard to overcome problems like mismatched parenting styles, childcare logistics, and financial stress from providing for children.
Does gender affect divorce rates for firefighters?
Interestingly, female firefighters may face slightly lower divorce likelihood:
– About 16% of female firefighters divorce, versus 22% of male firefighters
– But the sample sizes for women are much smaller than for men.
Possible contributing factors:
- Female firefighters comprise only around 5% of the field. Their sheer novelty helps some marriages.
- Women drawn to firefighting may have higher empathy and relationship skills.
- Their husbands take on more domestic duties compared to wives of male firefighters.
However, some studies show equal or higher divorce rates for women. More research is needed on gender differences.
Do racial, religious, or cultural backgrounds influence divorce rates?
Some research suggests cultural background may impact firefighter divorce risk:
- Catholic firefighters were found less likely to be divorced than Protestants.
- Black firefighters had lower rates than whites in one study.
- Cultures emphasizing strong families have protective effects.
- Minority firefighters face added on-the-job discrimination and stress.
But overall, the effect of demographics appears minimal. All types of firefighters face high risk compared to the general population.
Which departments have the highest divorce rates?
Data indicates that divorce rates are highest among:
- Urban departments, likely due to increased trauma and pace.
- Busier departments with more calls per firefighter.
- Departments with longer shifts, like 48+ hours.
- Younger departments with many newcomers.
More experienced departments tend to have lower divorce rates. Their veterans serve as mentors and role models for strong marriages.
Do “fire widow” support groups help prevent divorce?
Many wives of firefighters participate in “fire widow” groups. These provide:
- A forum to share experiences and tips for coping.
- Childcare during husbands’ shifts.
- Advice from veteran spouses.
- Social events and friendships.
Studies show these groups help women feel less alone and overwhelmed. This reduces stress on marriages. But participation rates still remain low, around 25% for firefighters’ wives. There are opportunities to grow these support networks.
What steps can reduce divorce rates?
While divorce will likely always be more prevalent among firefighters, some strategies can strengthen marriages:
Improve communication
Firefighters need to become more open with partners about job stress. Couples should carve out quality time to talk. Counseling helps navigate difficult conversations.
Make the marriage a priority
Couples must devote time to nurturing their bond, even amid busy careers and family life. Set aside date nights and weekends focused on the marriage. Don’t take your relationship for granted.
Build support networks
Participate in fire widow groups. Seek mentoring from veteran firefighter couples. Make close friendships with people who understand your lifestyle.
Practice financial prudence
Live below your means. Build emergency savings. Plan retirement diligently. Seek counseling if money issues arise.
Take advantage of employee resources
Many departments offer confidential counseling to firefighters and their families. Use these to learn coping strategies and air marriage problems.
Keep romance alive
Try new dates, weekend trips, and activities together. Surprise your partner. Leave affectionate notes. Don’t lose your intimacy, playfulness, and admiration for each other.
Attend premarital counseling
Couples should discuss expectations, learn conflict resolution skills, and understand job stresses beforehand. Establish plans to manage family responsibilities.
Limit job impact on home life
Avoid letting irritability, withdrawal, or clinging to firehouse culture create distance from your family. Don’t discuss traumatic calls at home. Make the most of time together between shifts.
Conclusion
The divorce rate for firefighters ranges from 16-22% during active careers, up to 70% lifetime, far surpassing averages for other occupations. Factors like work stress, infidelity risk, shift disruptions, and poor communication contribute to the high rates. But steps like premarital counseling, prioritizing marital time, seeking peer support, and using employee assistance resources can strengthen firefighter marriages. The challenging aspects of the profession will likely always impose strains. However, being proactive provides the best chance of beating the tough odds.