Love sickness, also known as passionate love, is a psychological and physiological state characterized by intense romantic infatuation and obsession. It involves a complex set of feelings, behaviors, and thoughts associated with the intense attraction felt toward a desired partner.
What are the symptoms of love sickness?
The key symptoms of love sickness include:
- Intense focused attention and craving for emotional union with the love object
- Intrusive and obsessive thinking about the person
- Inability to accept rejection from the desired partner
- Euphoria when reciprocation is perceived
- Extreme empathy, mutual understanding and overt sexuality with the beloved
- High energy and excitement in the early stages of the relationship
- Spacing out – preoccupation that can adversely affect other interests and priorities in life
- Altered sense of time and shared identity with the romantic partner
Love sickness can lead to mood swings, emotional dependency, separation anxiety when apart from the love interest, obsessive ‘craving’ for emotional union, emotional highs and lows, as well as instability in relationships.
What causes love sickness?
Love sickness is believed to be caused by a complex interplay of psychological, social and biological factors, including:
- Brain chemistry – Activity of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin creates euphoria and focused attention on the beloved.
- Love drives – Powerful motivational drives for love, intimacy and reproduction.
- Attachment style – insecure anxious or avoidant styles can make one obsessed about attaining or maintaining a relationship.
- Unmet childhood needs – seeking love one didn’t get as a child.
- Idealization and fantasizing about the love object.
- Rose-tinted perceptions – distorted views of a partner during early stages of love.
- Social influences – social pressures, expectations and norms shape one’s focus on attaining relationships.
How long does love sickness last?
The intensity and duration of love sickness symptoms can vary depending on circumstances:
- In the early stages of reciprocated love, the symptoms may last between 6 months to 2 years.
- In unrequited love, the obsessive symptoms tend to gradually fade within 8-17 months.
- In rejected love, most recover within 6 months, but feelings may resurface later when reminded of the beloved.
- With effective coping strategies, one can overcome love sickness within months.
- Without moving on, obsessive thoughts may recur for years.
This timeline outlines the typical duration of love sickness:
| Stage | Duration |
|---|---|
| Early intoxication | 2-6 months |
| Frustration/despair | 6-9 months |
| Integration of feelings | 9-17 months |
| Recovery/acceptance | 12-18 months |
Is love sickness a mental disorder?
No, love sickness is not classified as a mental disorder. It is a normal psychological reaction to falling passionately in love. However, in some cases it may border on obsessive love disorder if the symptoms become extreme, last for years, and significantly disrupt normal functioning.
Key differences between normal love sickness and obsessive love disorder:
| Love Sickness | Obsessive Love Disorder |
|---|---|
| Thoughts about beloved lessen over time | Obsessive thoughts persist and may increase |
| Does not significantly impact daily activities | Significantly impairs social life, work duties, studies |
| Temporary euphoria and anxiety | Chronic and disabling anxiety about the relationship |
| Accepts rejection | Refuses to accept rejection; may stalk or threaten beloved |
| Enhances life when reciprocated | Dependence on beloved damages sense of self |
When love sickness symptoms reach obsessive and addictive levels lasting years, professional help may be needed.
How is love sickness treated?
Love sickness usually fades over time as the infatuation wanes and reality sets in. However, various strategies can help shorten its duration and lessen symptoms:
- Distraction – Avoid idleness and dwelling on thoughts of the person. Engage in work, hobbies, social outings.
- Support system – Spend time with good friends/family who give perspective.
- New pursuits – Take up new challenges, adventures, travel to redirect energy.
- Space – Take a break from contacting/viewing social media of the beloved.
- Mindfulness – Practice meditation and self-reflection to gain awareness of irrational thoughts.
- Counselling – Seek therapy if obsessive behaviour begins affecting normal functioning.
Anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication may sometimes be prescribed in very severe disabling cases.
How can you get over love sickness?
Here are some tips to recover from love sickness:
- Cut contact with the person to stop reinforcing emotions.
- Seek support from friends/family to boost confidence and resilience.
- Allow yourself to grieve the loss but set a time limit.
- List the person’s negative traits to gain realistic perspective.
- Try new activities or travel to experience life without the person.
- Develop meaningful goals and passions beyond the relationship.
- Remind yourself you deserve requited healthy love.
- When ready, begin dating again casually.
- Consider therapy if obsessive thoughts/behavior persist beyond 6 months.
- With time, the heartache will fade and you will emerge stronger.
Conclusion
Love sickness is a common reaction to falling passionately in love. Symptoms include euphoria, intrusive thoughts, emotional highs and lows, neediness and anxiety when apart from the beloved. It is driven by emotional, psychological and biological factors. The condition normally fades within months to a few years, but obsessive symptoms may require therapy. With effective coping strategies, expanding life beyond the relationship, support and time, most people can overcome love sickness and regain a healthy life.