Talking to an autistic person can seem challenging at first, but with some understanding it can be a rewarding experience. Autism is a complex neurological condition that affects how a person communicates, interacts and experiences the world around them.
How does autism affect communication?
Many autistic individuals have differences in verbal and nonverbal communication skills. Some common differences include:
- Speaking in an overly formal, pedantic way
- Monotone or atypical vocal inflection
- Taking figures of speech literally
- Avoiding eye contact
- Not using or reading facial expressions or body language well
These differences can make reciprocal conversation more challenging for autistic individuals. However, with understanding and accommodations, successful communication is certainly possible.
Tips for conversational success
Here are some tips that can help conversations flow better when speaking with an autistic person:
- Use clear, direct language. Avoid vague statements or sarcasm.
- Give the person extra time to process what you said and respond.
- Don’t rely solely on nonverbal cues to gauge understanding.
- If something is unclear, politely ask for clarification.
- Provide context to help comprehension of ambiguous statements.
- Minimize background noise and distractions if possible.
- Be patient and prepared to periodically re-explain or rephrase.
Topics of interest
Many autistic individuals have intense interests and expertise in certain topics. If you know someone’s special interest, engaging them in that area can facilitate rich conversation. Some common areas of fascination include:
| Category | Examples |
|---|---|
| Science & Math | Astronomy, physics, chemistry, calculus |
| Computers & Technology | Programming, gaming, electronics |
| Media & Entertainment | Movies, TV shows, anime, cartoons |
| Transportation | Trains, planes, automobiles |
| Nature & Animals | Species, habitats, ecosystems |
Asking an autistic person about their special interest provides an easy starting point for conversation. Be prepared for an in-depth infodump!
Literal interpretations
Because autistic persons tend to interpret language literally, figures of speech and sarcasm can cause confusion. Statements like “This room is freezing!” or “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” often don’t make literal sense and require reading between the lines. It helps to avoid such ambiguity by being as direct, specific, and honest as possible in your word choices. If you do use an idiom, explaining what it means can clear up the confusion.
Bluntness and honesty
Autistic individuals tend to be very direct, honest, and transparent in their communication style. They are unlikely to exaggerate, embellish, or say things just to be polite. This bluntness isn’t intended to be rude – it’s just a difference in communication style. Don’t take blunt statements personally. Instead, appreciate the sincerity of the autistic perspective.
Nonverbal communication differences
Because autistic people often avoid eye contact and have different body language, it’s important not to rely solely on nonverbal cues to gauge understanding in a conversation. Check in verbally too. Asking “Does this make sense?” or “How does this sound?” can clarify comprehension. Don’t assume a lack of eye contact means the person isn’t paying attention – they very well may be listening intently.
Sensory sensitivities
Many autistic individuals have enhanced or reduced sensitivities in their senses of hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste. These sensitivities can impact conversations. For example, loud sounds or bright lights can be overwhelming and make focusing difficult. When possible, minimize sensory stimuli. Having conversations in quiet, calm environments can help.
Emotional nuances
Autistic persons may have difficulties recognizing or expressing emotions through tone of voice and facial expressions. Sarcasm, subtle humor, and vague language referencing feelings or mental states can be challenging. Being very explicit about emotions (“I’m feeling sad right now” or “That joke was funny”) can help clarify intended meaning.
Meltdowns
Autistic individuals are prone to meltdowns – intense episodes of feeling overwhelmed that cause outbursts, crying, or withdrawal. If a meltdown happens, allow space for the person to calm down before continuing your conversation. However, avoid assuming every display of strong emotion is necessarily a meltdown. Autistic people have complex inner lives like anyone else.
Special interests
Most autistic people have intense, absorbing interests in specific topics that captivate their attention, focus, and passion. These special interests are often intellectual in nature, like science, math, computers, or transportation. Conversing within the realm of someone’s special interest yields rewarding engagement and meaningful connections. Follow the person’s lead enthusiastically.
Social norms
Unwritten social rules that most people intuitively pick up on can seem confusing and arbitrary to autistic minds. Things like when to talk, how close to stand, or what topics are appropriate for different contexts may not come naturally. Kindly explaining applicable norms prevents uncomfortable social blunders.
Idiosyncrasies
Autistic people often have behavioral quirks or repetitive actions, like stimming, that serve a self-regulatory function. These may seem unusual but shouldn’t be interpreted negatively. Moving in a certain way, making sounds, or waving hands when excited or thinking deeply is perfectly normal autistic behavior. Don’t draw unnecessary attention or attempt to stop stimming.
Conclusion
While no two autistic people are exactly alike, understanding some common verbal and nonverbal communication differences can pave the way for meaningful exchanges. With patience and empathy, you can gain perspective into a vividly unique autistic mindset. Adjusting your approach leads to more fluid conversations and stronger connections. In the end, open-mindedness and sincerity are key when chatting with an autistic person or anyone else who communicates a bit differently.