Quick Answers
First base refers to kissing or making out in the context of physical intimacy and stages of intimacy. It typically involves open-mouth kissing and French kissing, with hands exploring each other’s body above the waist. First base signifies moving beyond platonic friendship into romantic intimacy, though it does not involve removing clothes or direct sexual contact.
Defining the Concept of Bases in Intimacy
Baseball analogies are commonly used to describe levels of physical intimacy, with each base representing a stage further along in intimacy. The bases include:
| 1st Base | Kissing, making out |
| 2nd Base | Touching/fondling below the waist and above the shoulders |
| 3rd Base | Manual stimulation of genitals |
| Home Run | Sexual intercourse |
The concept of bases reflects how intimacy often progresses in incremental stages, rather than all at once. It provides a model for thinking about and discussing the different levels of intimacy. However, it is an oversimplification – intimacy can progress in many different ways for different people and relationships. The model should be considered a generalization rather than strict rules.
Characteristics of First Base
Some key characteristics that define first base include:
Open-Mouth Kissing
First base involves open-mouth kissing, also known as French kissing. This is more intimate than closed-mouth kissing, as it allows partners to explore each other’s mouths with their tongues. It represents a progression from platonic pecks to romantic kissing.
Use of Hands to Explore
During first base, partners use their hands to explore each other’s body. Touches are focused above the waist, such as on the arms, back, shoulders, face, neck, and hair. This builds intimacy through touch and helps partners learn what feels pleasurable to each other.
Making Out
First base is sometimes described as “making out.” Sessions can last for extended periods of time as partners kiss, caress, whisper, and fully focus on each other. It involves being emotionally intimate but does not yet cross the threshold into overtly sexual contact.
Clothes Stay On
An important characteristic of first base is that clothes stay on the whole time. Partners do not undress or expose private areas of the body, which differentiates it from later bases. Kissing and touching is done on top of clothing.
No Direct Sexual Contact
First base does not involve direct contact with breasts or genitals, even over clothing. The focus remains on kissing and above-the-neck touching. This sets it apart from more overtly sexual acts of later bases.
Relationship Context
The meaning and significance of first base depends on the context of the relationship:
For New Relationships
Reaching first base represents crossing into romantic/sexual intimacy for new relationships. It signifies that both people feel enough of a connection to start becoming physically intimate. The newness often makes it exciting.
For Established Relationships
In established relationships that have already been intimate, first base may be a form of affection and foreplay leading up to later bases. It allows couples to build intimacy through closeness. It may be less thrilling than for new couples.
For Teenagers
First base is often a major stepping stone for teenagers first exploring intimacy. It represents breaking out of “friend zone” interactions and experimenting with romance. They may be nervous and excited about crossing this threshold.
For Adults
Adults may view first base as a return to teenage-style intimacy in new relationships. It recaptures some of that younger excitement. But they likely have more confidence and skills to create deeper intimacy through kissing.
Initiating First Base
Some tips for initiating first base in a consensual, ethical manner:
Read Body Language
Look for signals like sustained eye contact, smiling, laughing, leaning in close, or light flirtatious touching. These cues indicate the other person welcomes intimacy.
Create a Romantic Environment
Set the mood to help both people get into an intimate mindset. Options include low lighting, relaxing music, sitting close together, or shared activities like slow dancing.
Initiate Gently
Lean in slowly giving time for your partner to pull away if unwanted. Gently brush hair away from their face or lift their chin towards you. Judge their comfort levels before fully initiating a kiss.
Get Consent
Directly asking “can I kiss you?” may sound unromantic but ensures both people actively consent. This is especially important in newer relationships or for teenagers still learning relationship skills.
Start Slowly
Begin with brief closed-mouth kisses, building up intensity slowly. Give your partner time to get comfortable before introducing open-mouth kissing and use of tongue.
Discuss Boundaries
Talk about what level of intimacy you are each comfortable with. This helps avoid either person feeling pressured and keeps intimacy within mutually agreed upon limits.
How to Make Out during First Base
Some tips for making the most of the open-mouth kissing and upper-body touching of first base:
Mix Up Kissing Styles
Try lighter kisses, deeper kisses, changing head angles, nibbling or sucking on lips, etc. Varying techniques keeps the experience exciting.
Use Your Hands
Let your hands wander, running fingers through hair, caressing neck and back, grasping shoulders, rubbing thighs while kissing. Light tickling or scratching can also elicit pleasant responses.
Explore with Your Tongue
An involved kiss lets your tongue mingle with your partner’s, exploring their mouth. Stroke their tongue with your own. Keep your tongue soft and pliable.
Breathe Properly
Remember to breathe through your nose even during intense kissing. Coming up for air periodically will allow you to kiss longer before getting breathless.
Be Responsive
Pay attention to what makes your partner respond positively, like inhaling sharply, pressing closer, or moaning. Respond in turn to signals your partner gives of what feels good.
Take Breaks
Breaks allow you both to catch your breath, get some space, sip a drink, and build the tension back up again. Vary the pace appropriately.
Keep It Fun
Have fun exploring each other. Laughter, tickles, smiles, and giggles make for great chemistry. Don’t be afraid to be playful as long as both people are enjoying it.
Navigating First Base in New Relationships
It’s normal to feel nervous, excited, awkward, or unsure when reaching first base in a new relationship. Some tips to make it go smoothly:
Communicate
Check in with each other aboutcomfort levels. Give reassurance if your partner seems nervous or hesitant. Make sure you both want to progress intimacy further.
Don’t Pressure
Moving to first base should never be rushed or forced. Go at the pace the other person sets. Do not coerce a partner who says no or indicates hesitation.
Control Your Reactions
Be aware of involuntary physical reactions like arousal that may occur from heightened stimulation. Do not call attention or make your partner feel ashamed.
Use Protection
If the situation escalates beyond first base, have protection prepared. Discuss contraception and STI status so you can make informed, responsible choices.
Discuss Relationship Status
Define what progressing to first base means for your relationship status. Are you still just dating, officially a couple, or somewhere in between? Avoid assumptions.
Don’t Go Too Far Too Fast
Make out sessions should remain at first base at first. Even if you get swept up in passion, don’t push your partner past their comfort zone. Take intimacy slow.
Pros of First Base Intimacy
Some benefits of the open-mouth kissing and light touching of first base include:
Builds Emotional Connection
The closeness of kissing and touching releases bonding hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, strengthening your emotional relationship.
Safer than Sex
First base carries no risk of pregnancy or STIs. For young people not ready for sex, it offers intimacy with less risks.
Teaches Each Other’s Likes/Dislikes
Exploring each other’s bodies and responses teaches you what your partner enjoys. This knowledge benefits future intimacy.
Exciting for New Couples
The novel experience of first base is highly arousing and exciting. New couples often feel thrilled by these first intimacies.
Doesn’t Require Full Privacy
As no nudity is involved, some lighter first base activities can occur in semi-private situations like back rows of theaters, parked cars, etc.
Can Go at Your Own Pace
Each couple can progress through first base at whatever speed suits them best. There’s no set expectations.
Cons of First Base Intimacy
Some potential downsides to be aware of include:
Awkwardness
Any first-time intimate experience may feel awkward, especially for teenagers. Inexperience can make kissing clumsy until partners get comfortable.
Increased Sexual Tension
The physical intimacy of first base often arouses sexual desire. Partners may get carried away with passion in the heat of the moment.
Risk of Bruising/Chafing
Excessively intense or prolonged kissing/touching can lead to irritated skin or bruising, especially for those with sensitive skin.
Difficulty Transitioning Back to Friendship
If a romantic relationship ends, it can be hard to go back to just being platonic friends after having been physically intimate.
Potential for Miscommunication
One partner may interpret first base as meaning more in terms of the relationship status than the other partner does.
Possibility of Judgment from Peers
Teenagers especially may face peer pressure or shaming if word spreads about engaging in first base behaviors.
Alternatives to First Base
For those who do not feel ready for even first base intimacy, some alternative ways to build emotional closeness in a relationship include:
Holding Hands
Simple hand-holding fosters feelings of care and connection. Fingers may also gently caress the other hands.
Cuddling
Enjoying physical closeness while remaining clothed builds comfort and trust. Lying together, spooning, etc.
Arm Around Shoulders
An arm around the shoulders is an easy way to show care during activities like watching movies or walking together.
Quick Kisses
Brief kisses on the cheeks, forehead, or lips hint at romance without full kissing sessions.
Slow Dancing
Music and rhythmic movement together promotes synchronicity. Even without hugging, it feels intimate.
Complementary Touches
Stroking hair, squeezing hands, massaging shoulders, etc. offers caring physical connection.
Safety Tips for First Base
It is vital first base behaviors occur in a safe, ethical context. Some key points:
Obtain Active Consent
Both partners should clearly communicate interest in intimacy before initiating any physical contact. Mixed signals can lead to violations of consent. Do not make assumptions.
Respect Boundaries
If a partner indicates some acts make them uncomfortable, immediately cease those behaviors. Do not pressure anyone to go beyond the limits they set.
Ensure Privacy
Being in a private setting reduces risks and allows partners to be more vulnerable. Public intimacy should remain discreet.
Use Protection If Progressing
If intimacy escalates, be prepared with contraception to avoid sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. Consider your partner’s sexual health status and history.
Remain Sober
Intoxication impairs judgment and ability to read signals from your partner. Staying sober ensures you do not miss any signs of discomfort or inadvertently cross boundaries.
Have an Exit Strategy
Agree on a signal either partner can use to pause intimacy if feeling unsure or overwhelmed. Check in periodically on each other’s comfort levels.
Conclusion
First base is a major milestone representing the start of physically intimate and romantic interactions. Open-mouth kissing and touching above the waist fosters emotional closeness and sexual tension. While exciting, it requires taking certain precautions to remain within ethical bounds. As long as couples communicate clearly and respect mutual boundaries, first base allows them to deepen connections and learn how to pleasure each other. The make out sessions of first base are an important developmental stage in relationships for both teenagers and adults.