The honeymoon stage, also known as the honeymoon phase or puppy love, is the early stage of a romantic relationship where everything feels exciting and new. During this time, chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine flood the brain, creating feelings of euphoria, excitement and bonding. While this phase is enjoyable, it does have some dangers that couples should be aware of. Failing to recognize the honeymoon stage for what it is can lead to unrealistic expectations, poor communication, loss of identity and heartbreak down the road. Being informed and proactive can help couples extend the happiness of the honeymoon stage while building a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
What is the honeymoon stage?
The honeymoon stage typically lasts anywhere from 6 months to 2 years into a new relationship. During this time, the brain is flooded with feel-good chemicals creating a ‘high’ that makes everything feel easy and perfect between the couple. Some signs you’re in the honeymoon stage include:
- Thinking about your partner constantly
- Wanting to spend all your free time together
- Feeling it’s easy to communicate and solve problems
- Fantasizing about a wonderful future together
- Overlooking or minimizing your partner’s flaws
- Having an active sex life
- Experiencing intense feelings of attraction
This excitement and validation feels amazing, especially after the nervousness of first meeting. Basking in the honeymoon stage is normal, but this phase will eventually fade. Being prepared for the changes ahead is key to transitioning into a deeper intimacy.
What causes the honeymoon stage?
The euphoric feelings of new love can be chalked up to key hormones and brain chemicals including:
- Dopamine – Also known as the ‘pleasure hormone’, dopamine is associated with desire, motivation, euphoria and addiction. It’s released when we anticipate something positive like being with someone we’re attracted to.
- Norepinephrine – This hormone increases heart rate, blood pressure and respiration when excited or stressed. It plays a role in arousal.
- Phenylethylamine – This chemical triggers the release of dopamine and norepinephrine. It’s associated with the giddiness, focus and rush felt when infatuated with someone new.
- Oxytocin – Sometimes called the love or cuddle hormone, oxytocin deepens feelings of attachment. It’s released during intimacy and affectionate contact.
These chemicals create an intoxicating effect. New partners can quickly become a drug we crave more of. But just like with any substance-induced high, building tolerance causes it to eventually wear off.
How long does the honeymoon stage last?
There are no hard rules for how long the honeymoon period lasts. For some couples it may only be a few months. For others it can extend to 2 years or longer. Factors that influence the length include:
- The strength of initial attraction – A more intense connection may prolong infatuation.
- Amount of time spent together – More frequent contact maintains the high.
- Quality of communication – Good communication skills help preserve positive feelings.
- Individual personalities – Differences like intro/extroversion play a role.
- Similarity of life goals and values – Shared vision sustains harmony.
- Ability to manage conflict – Arguing or criticism shortens the honeymoon stage.
- Major life changes – Moving in together, marriage or having children hastens transition.
Regardless of circumstances, most experts agree the honeymoon feeling will start fading between 6 months and 2 years as the relationship becomes more real.
What are signs the honeymoon stage is ending?
The honeymoon can’t last forever, but how can you tell it’s starting to fade? Here are some signs the initial infatuation is wearing off:
- Less frequent communication
- More alone time spent on independent activities
- Feeling annoyed or irritated more easily
- Noticing more flaws and imperfections
- Disagreements and conflicts increase
- Less excitement to show affection publicly
- Sexual intimacy declines
- Fantasies about the future become more realistic
These changes are completely normal as the relationship matures. But the contrast to the honeymoon euphoria can feel jarring or disappointing for some couples. Being aware this shift is coming allows you to better manage expectations.
What are the dangers of the honeymoon stage?
The honeymoon period can be one of the most blissful times in a new romance, but there are some potential pitfalls couples should be cautious of:
Unrealistic expectations
When we’re infatuated, it’s easy to idealize a new partner and see them through rose-colored glasses. We overlook flaws and exaggerate positive traits. But when the honeymoon fades, those flaws seem more glaring. If expectations for a “perfect” partnership are too unrealistic, disappointment is inevitable. It’s healthiest to accept your partner as the flawed human they are.
Poor communication
Communication comes easily when you’re starry-eyed. But those communication skills may not stand the test of time. Passive-aggression, avoidance of difficult conversations, or pressure to always agree can creep in. Solidifying positive communication patterns while in the honeymoon stage is crucial.
Loss of identity
When intensely bonding with someone new, it’s common to lose focus on personal interests and relationships with others. But allowing your identity to be subsumed into the partnership leaves you unfulfilled down the road. Make an effort to maintain perspective and autonomy.
Rushing commitment
The desire to spend all your time together can hurry some couples into premature commitments like moving in, getting engaged or having a baby. Make an effort to slow down and allow the relationship to unfold gradually.
Blindness to red flags
When wearing rose-colored glasses, it’s easy to make excuses for behaviors that should be red flags. A partner who is possessive, controlling, dishonest, volatile or manipulative will likely only get worse. Don’t ignore warning signs.
Painful breakups
If the relationship ends after the honeymoon, feelings of withdrawal when losing that emotional high can be devastating. The deeper the initial bonding, the more traumatic a breakup can be. Building your identity outside the relationship helps reduce this intensity.
How can you extend the honeymoon stage?
It’s impossible to stay in the honeymoon bubble forever. But couples can take proactive steps to prolong the excitement and passion of new love:
- Plan regular date nights to recapture the spark of your first dates. Do activities you both enjoy.
- Maintain perspective. Don’t place unrealistic expectations on each other to be perfect.
- Stay present and appreciate your partner’s positive qualities that first attracted you.
- Keep communicating. Discuss your relationship expectations openly and honestly.
- Inject novelty into the relationship by trying new things together.
- Make physical intimacy a priority through affectionate touch, kissing and sex.
- Surprise each other with romantic gestures to reinforce your bond.
- Travel to new places together to share adventures and create memories.
- Focus on quality time over quantity. Prioritize your partner instead of taking them for granted.
The honeymoon stage may be temporary, but elements of fun, passion and romance can continue when nurtured. Making sincere efforts to meet each other’s needs helps secure long-term bonding beyond those initial euphoric feelings.
How do you move past the honeymoon stage?
Transitioning a relationship beyond those first giddy months into something more mature requires:
- Acceptance – Recognize that shift is inevitable and embrace the natural maturation of your partnership.
- Patience – Give your partner grace as you uncover differences and flaws you were blind to before.
- Work – Maintaining a real relationship takes conscious effort you may have not put in yet.
- Communication – Have open discussions about your changing needs and relationship expectations.
- Intimacy – Stay vulnerable and emotionally close through ongoing trust and support.
- Compromise – Being less rigid and willing to give-and-take will carry you through conflicts.
- Independence – Continue cultivating your identity outside the relationship.
This phase may feel less exciting, but the deepening intimacy can ultimately be more fulfilling. Appreciating your partner as they truly are, flaws and all, builds the foundation for a lasting love.
Conclusion
The honeymoon stage marks an exciting start to a new relationship. But staying stuck in that phase of infatuation can be dangerous once reality sets in. Being aware the honeymoon feeling will fade allows couples to set realistic expectations, build communication skills and avoid commitment too quickly. Making efforts to reunite daily and inject novelty can rekindle the spark. Most importantly, accepting your partner for who they fully are helps couples gradually transition into a deeper intimacy that stands the test of time. Recognizing the honeymoon for the temporary high that it is helps build partnerships based on real substance.