Bipolar ghosting refers to when someone with bipolar disorder suddenly ends a relationship or friendship by cutting off all communication, often without explanation. This is known as “ghosting” and can be very hurtful and confusing for the person on the receiving end.
What are the signs of bipolar ghosting?
Some common signs that someone may be experiencing bipolar ghosting include:
- Sudden withdrawal and lack of communication – The person stops responding to texts, calls, and messages out of the blue.
- Previous intensity – The relationship or friendship was very intense with extreme highs and lows. The person was hot one day and cold the next.
- Manic period – Ghosting often happens after a period of mania where the person was very energetic and impulsive.
- Depressive period – Ghosting may also occur when the person is experiencing a depressive low period and withdraws from everyone.
- Cyclical pattern – The ghosting often happens in a pattern that aligns with the bipolar cycles of mania and depression.
Why do people with bipolar disorder ghost?
There are several reasons why someone with untreated or unstable bipolar may exhibit ghosting behavior:
- Impulsiveness – During manic phases, people may make relationship decisions impulsively without thinking through the consequences.
- Fear of judgment – They may ghost out of shame or fear of judgment during depressed periods.
- Self-sabotage – Some may ghost loved ones as a form of self-sabotage.
- Mood instability – The unpredictable mood swings make it difficult to sustain relationships long-term.
- Hypersexuality – Ghosting may follow hypersexual behavior during mania where many new relationships are formed.
- Cognitive distortions – Bipolar can cause negative thought patterns that justify sudden ghosting.
Ultimately, the erratic nature of bipolar disorder impacts the ability to maintain healthy relationships. Ghosting provides an easy way out.
How does bipolar ghosting impact relationships?
Bipolar ghosting can significantly damage relationships and friendships leading to:
- Feelings of hurt, confusion, whiplash
- Loss of trust, hypervigilance
- Self-blame, lowered self-esteem
- Repeated relationship patterns, instability
- Pre-emptive guarding or distancing
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms
The sudden loss leaves people feeling abandoned without closure. It erodes self-worth and makes it hard to rebuild trust. Patterns of instability can destroy support systems.
Effects on romantic relationships
Romantic relationships face even greater challenges. The fallout of bipolar ghosting may include:
- Abandonment issues
- Difficulty with intimacy
- Repeating dysfunctional dynamics
- Co-dependence or enabling
- Poor communication and conflict resolution
- Erosion of commitment and security
The damage makes it difficult to cultivate healthy, lasting romantic partnerships.
Effects on friendships
Friendships don’t escape unscathed either. Bipolar ghosting behaviors promote:
- Withdrawal and isolation
- Burning bridges
- Breakdown of support networks
- Reluctance to trust
- Holding back emotionally
- Distancing from the bipolar friend
It becomes challenging to maintain meaningful friendships which can exacerbate bipolar symptoms.
How to cope if someone ghosts you
If you experience bipolar ghosting, here are some healthy ways to cope:
- Avoid taking it personally – Remind yourself it’s a manifestation of their illness.
- Shed your resentment – Accept that closure may never come and make peace with it.
- Reflect on your needs – Consider if the friendship was healthy and what you truly need.
- Limit repeated chances – Set boundaries around repeated ghosting behaviors.
- Protect your heart – Be mindful in opening yourself up to avoid further hurt.
- Seek support – Turn to other stable, trusted friends and family.
While painful, avoiding bitterness and learning from the experience leads to growth. Therapy can also help gain insight and perspective.
How to rebuild trust after bipolar ghosting
If the person resurfaces and wants to reconcile, rebuilding trust requires:
- Patience and taking it slowly
- Observing consistency over time
- Open communication about the ghosting
- Seeking professional treatment for bipolar
- Respecting boundaries
- Earning trust through accountable actions
It takes two people equally committed to repairing the damage. Professional counseling provides tools to overcome hurts and establish healthy patterns.
Setting boundaries with a friend who ghosts
You can lovingly set relationship boundaries with a bipolar ghoster:
- Communicate your feelings clearly but compassionately
- Be honest about the impact their behavior has
- Set clear expectations going forward
- Enforce consequences when boundaries are crossed
- Offer support in seeking treatment
- Create emotional and physical space as needed
Boundaries allow you to control what you can while being supportive. It also models healthy relationship skills.
When to walk away from a bipolar ghoster
While rebuilding trust is ideal, it’s not always possible or healthy to remain in contact if the person:
- Refuses treatment and continues unstable behavior
- Remains oblivious or indifferent to their impact
- Violates agreed upon boundaries repeatedly
- Continues hurtful actions without remorse
- Is severely compromised in judgement and functionality
- Poses a direct threat to your mental or physical well-being
At that point, walking away may be necessary for self-preservation – especially if you see a pattern that is never going to change. Forgiveness and letting go allows you to refocus energy on your own growth and healing.
Overcoming relationship fears after ghosting
To overcome fears of abandonment or instability after bipolar ghosting:
- Work on self-esteem and self-sufficiency
- Challenge negative thought patterns
- Learn to identify healthy vs. unhealthy bonds
- Set small achievable goals to build confidence
- Engage support systems to reality check fears
- Consider therapy to build relationship skills
The goal is to develop tools so you can engage in new relationships in a healthy grounded way. Healing past hurt equips you for stable connections moving forward.
Supporting someone who ghosts due to bipolar disorder
If a loved one ghosts you because of bipolar challenges:
- Reach out periodically to express care and concern
- Encourage professional treatment for stability
- Educate yourself on bipolar disorder
- Set healthy boundaries if needed
- Offer forgiveness and support during low times
- Provide stability through the ups and downs
You can be supportive while also protecting your mental health. With professional help, bipolar ghosting behaviors can be successfully managed.
When to seek therapy after ghosting
Consider seeking therapy if you experience:
- Prolonged depression, anxiety or trauma
- Suicidal thoughts or self-harming behavior
- Substance abuse or other addictive coping
- Significant damage to self-image and self-worth
- Trust issues that disrupt daily function
- Repeated dysfunctional relationship patterns
A therapist provides tools to process the grief, establish self-love, restore trust and cultivate healthy relationships. You don’t have to struggle alone.
Conclusion
Bipolar ghosting can be extremely painful and destabilizing. But with compassion, boundaries and professional support, hope exists. Healing is possible. Rather than allowing the experience to embitter you, let it open your heart to others who face similar mental health struggles. You never know how your empathy and friendship could impact someone’s life in a positive way.