Lying is unfortunately a common occurrence in many people’s lives. Though we are often taught from a young age that lying is wrong, many still regularly tell untruths for a variety of reasons. In this article, we will explore some of the most common types of lies people tell, look at the motivations behind lying, and provide tips for how to tell when someone is not being truthful.
Little White Lies
One of the most common types of lies is the small, often harmless untruths known as “little white lies.” These are the slight stretching of the truth or omitting certain details that many people engage in on a regular basis. Saying you are “fine” when someone asks how you are doing, even if you are having a bad day, is a good example. This lie is told in order to be polite or avoid an awkward social situation. Similarly, saying you have plans when you really want to get out of an invitation, complimenting a meal you didn’t really enjoy, or telling someone you like their outfit when you don’t are other instances of little white lies we encounter frequently in day to day interactions. Many people tell these lies without thinking twice about it.
Motivations for Little White Lies
There are a few main motivations behind telling little white lies:
- Being polite – Saying you enjoyed a meal so as not to offend the host.
- Avoiding conflict – Calling in sick to work when you just need a day off.
- Sparing someone’s feelings – Telling your spouse you like their new haircut, even if you don’t.
- Convenience – Saying you have other plans to avoid an unwanted invitation.
While these lies are often considered harmless, telling too many little white lies can be detrimental to relationships. It can become habit forming and lead to lying about more significant things. Many believe it is better to be tactful, yet honest whenever possible.
Exaggerations
Another very common lie is exaggeration – stretching the truth beyond what really occurred. We have likely all been guilty of exaggeration at some point. Some examples include:
- Rounding up your GPA or other accomplishments on a resume.
- Saying you waited “forever” in line at the DMV when it was really only 20 minutes.
- Saying you have the “worst” headache though it is fairly mild.
- Exaggerating stories to make them more dramatic or interesting.
As with little white lies, many people exaggerate without even thinking about it. We do it to emphasize a point (“I’ve told you a million times to clean your room”), make excuses (“There was tons of traffic this morning”), or make ourselves look better (“I’m starving” when you’re just a little hungry). Stretching the truth in these ways can often spiral into bigger lies.
Motivations for Exaggerations
Here are some common reasons people exaggerate:
- To emphasize a point
- To excuse poor behavior
- To seem more impressive
- For dramatization of a story
Like little white lies, many exaggerations are harmless. But consistently exaggerating can be detrimental to your reputation and integrity.
Lies to Avoid Punishment
Lying to avoid punishment for wrongdoing is very common among both children and adults. From a young age, children may lie about who broke a vase or who ate the last cookie in order to avoid punishment. Adults also frequently lie to avoid consequences, though generally with higher stakes. Some examples include:
- Lying about cheating on a spouse to avoid negative repercussions
- Calling in sick when not ill to get out of work
- Lying about your income on taxes to pay less
- Falsely denying responsibility for damaging property to avoid paying
These types of lies undermine trust in relationships and societies. Though lying may allow someone to avoid immediate consequences, consistently being dishonest can cause great harm when the lies are exposed. It is generally better to take responsibility for misconduct.
Motivations for Lying to Avoid Punishment
- Fear of repercussions
- Avoiding shame or embarrassment
- Dodging formal punishment
- Prevent loss of status/reputation
While lying to protect oneself is human nature, working to build integrity and taking responsibility is key to building strong relationships and earning trust.
False Promises/Exaggerated Claims
Many people make false promises or exaggerated claims about their abilities, intentions, or accomplishments. Politicians are notorious for making false promises to gain votes. Some other examples include:
- Claiming you will pay someone back when you know you won’t.
- Exaggerating accomplishments or abilities on a resume.
- Promising to be somewhere when you never intend to follow through.
- Salespeople making unrealistic claims about what a product can deliver.
These lies undermine integrity when they cannot or will not be fulfilled. False promises and claims erode trust over time.
Motivations for False Promises
- Wanting to impress someone
- Trying to get elected or sell a product
- Exaggerated optimism about one’s abilities
- Self-delusion about what one can accomplish
While we all have moments of over-promising or exaggerating, developing a reputation for honesty and follow-through is important in relationships and building trust.
Secrets and Omission of Relevant Information
Keeping secrets and omitting information that someone has a right to know is another form of dishonesty. If you intentionally keep something from someone that impacts them, you are lying through omission. Examples include:
- Hiding purchases or debts from your spouse
- Neglecting to mention you have an STI before intimacy
- Not disclosing pertinent medical history to doctors
- Covering up wrongdoing by colleagues or employees
Obviously some things are meant to be private. But if someone is impacted by information you are concealing, it undermines trust and honesty.
Motivations for Secrets and Omission
- Avoiding confrontation
- Preventing worry or alarm
- Shame or embarrassment
- Selfishness or self-preservation
Everyone needs some privacy. But being able to openly communicate things that impact others is vital for healthy relationships.
Conclusion
While many lies are small and seemingly harmless, consistently being dishonest undermines integrity and erodes trust. Some motivations for lying include avoidance of punishment, exaggeration for dramatization, false promises to impress or gain something, and omission to prevent worry. Working to be more honest, truthful, and accountable for mistakes helps build strong relationships and reputations. Though the truth is not always easy, striving for honesty and integrity whenever possible is ideal.