INFJs are intuitive, caring, complex and gentle partners. They have a unique outlook on life and prioritize deep connections in their relationships. INFJs seek partners who appreciate their warmth, insight and idealism. Here’s an in-depth look at what INFJs need and want in a fulfilling relationship.
Understanding
More than anything, INFJs want to be understood in a relationship. As intuitive Feelers, they have rich inner lives and complex emotional worlds. INFJs rarely share the depths of themselves with just anyone. But once comfortable, they will reveal their private thoughts, values and dreams. INFJs seek partners who “get” them and appreciate their complexity.
INFJs want partners who:
- Take time getting to know the INFJ’s core self and values
- Ask thoughtful questions to understand the INFJ more fully
- Listen patiently without judgement
- Validate the INFJ’s feelings and perspectives
Having acceptance and understanding is crucial for INFJs to open up and be themselves in a relationship. Without it, they may feel lonely and misunderstood.
Intimacy
INFJs crave intimacy and depth in their close relationships. They want to connect with their partner’s mind, heart and soul. INFJs don’t open up to just anyone about their innermost thoughts, feelings and beliefs. But with a patient, caring partner, they will reveal layers of themselves slowly over time.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Are open and vulnerable in return
- Share their own deep thoughts, feelings and values
- Appreciate the privilege of the INFJ’s intimacy and trust
- Reciprocate the same level of care and understanding
This mutual intimacy is how INFJs form profound bonds with their partners. Without it, they will hold back parts of themselves and feel disconnected.
Loyalty
INFJs value commitment, integrity and loyalty in a relationship. They devote themselves fully once they find the right partner. INFJs give their love unconditionally and do everything they can to nurture the bond.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Are faithful, honest and trustworthy
- Make the relationship a priority in their life
- Are in it for the long haul
- Reciprocate loyalty and dedication
Betrayal and infidelity are incredibly hurtful to INFJs, as loyalty is fundamental to them. They need partners who stand by them through thick and thin.
Autonomy
While devoted partners, INFJs retain a strong sense of individuality. They need adequate personal space and independence within a relationship. INFJs can become overwhelmed if forced to socialize or make decisions too frequently.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Respect the INFJ’s need for solitude
- Give them room to pursue personal interests
- Don’t demand their time or attention constantly
- Support the INFJ’s freedom and growth
Overbearing partners stifle the INFJ’s creativity and sense of self. INFJs thrive when allowed to balance couple time with private time.
Emotional Depth
INFJs feel emotions intensely and seek partners who share this depth of feeling. They want to bond heart and soul rather than engage in superficial small talk and activities. INFJs enjoy exploring the deep questions of life with someone special.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Express emotions authentically
- Regularly share their feelings and desires
- Engage in reflective, philosophical conversations
- Nurture emotional intimacy and growth
Without regular emotional engagement, INFJs feel empty and dissatisfied in a relationship. They thrive sharing a profound connection with a partner.
Growth
INFJs maintain a lifelong quest for growth – of themselves, their partner and the relationship. They genuinely enjoy helping others mature as individuals. INFJs also want a partner invested in expanding their own horizons.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Challenge the INFJ’s perspectives compassionately
- Are open to the INFJ’s helpful suggestions
- Pursue shared learning and development
- Support the INFJ’s personal growth
Stagnation is death to INFJs – they need partners who share their enthusiasm for learning, improving and evolving together.
Encouragement
Bright and sensitive, INFJs often underestimate their talents and abilities. They rely on encouragement from a partner who believes in them. INFJs thrive when bolstered and reassured by someone who sees their full potential.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Give regular, positive feedback
- Express sincere admiration and validation
- Highlight the INFJ’s strengths and gifts
- Provide comfort during periods of self-doubt
Without a supportive, encouraging partner, an INFJ can be crippled by self-criticism and dark feelings of inadequacy.
Respect
INFJs value harmonious relationships grounded in mutual respect. They strive to honor their partners’ perspectives and needs. INFJs expect the same consideration in return at all times.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Express disagreement diplomatically
- Compromise when needed, not just insist
- Avoid hurtful words and behaviors
- Treat the INFJ as an equal
Partners who disregard the INFJ’s viewpoints or needs create discord in the relationship. INFJs need to feel respected, even during conflict.
Vision
Idealistic and insightful, INFJs think about the future often. They enjoy musing about hopes, dreams and possibilities with an open-minded partner. INFJs look for someone to brainstorm and grow with.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Share future visions and plans
- Discuss hopes and dreams frequently
- Work together to make dreams realities
- Appreciate the INFJ’s intuitive ideas
Having a partner lacking drive or imagination stifles the INFJ’s enthusiasm. They thrive when supported to envision and manifest a meaningful future.
Creativity
Imaginative and artistic, INFJs relish opportunities for creative expression. They enjoy brainstorming, problem-solving and crafting with an inventive partner. INFJs appreciate someone who inspires their ingenious side.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Have original perspectives to share
- Pursue creative hobbies and projects
- Think outside the box frequently
- Collaborate on innovative ideas together
INFJs feel stagnant and uninspired around uncreative types. They blossom sharing ideas and innovations with someone.
Fun
While INFJs have serious, soulful sides, they also enjoy laughter and lightness. They welcome partners who bring play, humor and adventure into their lives. INFJs relish having childlike fun with their favorite person.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Are spontaneous sometimes
- Make the INFJ smile and laugh often
- Do thoughtful surprises and acts of kindness
- Add warmth and joy to the relationship
All work and no play makes an INFJ feel unfulfilled. They need partners who make them smile and keep things light.
Harmony
Peaceful and sensitive, INFJs avoid conflict and disharmony in relationships. Raised voices, heated debates and constant criticism leave them drained. INFJs thrive on mutual support, compromise and calmness with a partner.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Value cooperation over competition
- Remain cool-headed during disagreements
- Patiently listen to the INFJ’s perspective
- Nurture an easygoing, warm bond
Frequent fighting and tension overwhelms INFJs. They need to maintain tranquility in their relationships.
Meaning
INFJs seek deeper meaning and purpose in all aspects of life, including relationships. They want to support each other’s personal growth and make a positive impact together. INFJs look for partners invested in making the world better.
INFJs seek partners who:
- Share humanistic values
- Contribute time or money to charity
- Have intellectual, spiritual or creative passions
- Encourage the INFJ’s humanitarian side
Life feels empty to INFJs without pursuing meaningful connections, activities and goals with their partner.
Conclusion
In relationships, INFJs seek understanding, intimacy, loyalty, autonomy, emotional depth, growth, encouragement, respect, vision, creativity, fun, harmony and meaning. They flourish with patient, committed partners who cherish their complexity and nurture their growth. INFJs will repay such care with fierce, lifelong devotion.