Making eye contact with another person can spark a whole range of emotions and reactions. Here’s a look at what might happen when you hold eye contact with someone.
It creates connection
Eye contact is one of the most basic ways that humans connect with each other. When you look someone in the eyes, you signal that you see them, acknowledge them, and are paying attention. This creates a bridge between you and the other person and can make you feel closer to each other.
It builds trust
Maintaining good eye contact shows confidence and sincerity, which are key to building trust between people. Studies have found that people who make more eye contact are seen as more trustworthy. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact can seem evasive or dishonest.
It sparks attraction
Eye contact and attraction definitely go hand-in-hand. Research has shown that prolonged eye contact between two people can increase romantic attraction and desire. There seems to be a biological basis for this – eye contact triggers activity in the brain’s reward system and increases production of “love hormones” like oxytocin.
It feels intense
When two people look into each other’s eyes, the experience can quickly become very intense. This is because eye contact forms such a direct and intimate channel of communication. Things like emotions, attraction, and hostility can all be conveyed through the eyes, which is why eye contact can feel so loaded.
It’s intimidating
For people who are shy or introverted, maintaining eye contact can be very intimidating. Since eye contact requires confidence and a degree of vulnerability, it can be daunting interacting this way with strangers. Additionally, in some cultures direct eye contact is seen as impolite or aggressive, so cultural norms play a role too.
It’s affirming
Quality eye contact, when both people are engaged and affirmative, can make us feel truly seen and understood. Being the recipient of this kind of eye contact gives our egos a boost and makes us feel worthy in the eyes of the other person. It’s a non-verbal way of conveying “I see value in you.”
It evokes emotion
Eyes are powerful conduits of emotion. Through eye contact, we can convey, understand, and literally “feel” what the other person is feeling. Things like anger, happiness, sadness, fear, and surprise are all quickly communicated through the eyes. Eye contact allows us to connect with others on a profoundly emotional level.
It’s uncomfortable
Despite the benefits of quality eye contact, it can also produce discomfort. Staring into a stranger’s eyes, or being subject to unwanted staring, provokes anxiety in many people. Sustained eye contact requires vulnerability which can feel risky when trust isn’t established between two people. Discomfort often causes people to limit eye contact out of self-protection.
It’s influential
Research indicates that sustained, affirmative eye contact can actually influence people’s attitudes and behavior. In experiments, subjects who received this type of eye contact spoke up more, were more helpful, and showed less prejudice to others. The implied acceptance increased confidence and opened their minds. Eye contact seems to have a subtle but measurable persuasive effect.
It reveals interest
When you’re interacting with someone you’re attracted to, eye contact provides important clues about their interest in you. Studies show that increased eye contact while talking correlates with romantic and sexual interest. On the other hand, low levels of eye contact may indicate disinterest or discomfort. So reading eye contact cues can help avoid misinterpreting mixed signals.
It improves listening
Maintaining eye contact with someone who is speaking to you greatly improves listening and comprehension. Looking into the speaker’s eyes anchors your attention and allows you to focus better. You’re also able to pick up on subtle facial expressions that convey meaning beyond the words being said. Quality eye contact shows respect and facilitates better understanding between both parties.
It relieves stress
Believe it or not, eye contact can actually lower stress and anxiety levels between interacting people. When mutual eye contact signals safety and acceptance, it activates parts of the brain associated with social bonding. This has a calming, stress-reducing effect, as long as the eye contact remains positive and affirming. So eye contact isn’t just stressful – it also has the power to relieve stress when used skillfully.
It boosts immune function
Research has found that supportive eye contact during couple’s interactions actually causes a boost in their immune function. Specifically, their salivary immunoglobin A – an antibody that plays a key role in immune response – increases after mutually affirmative eye contact. So beyond just building psychological closeness, eye contact may also help physical health and immunity when shared in positive relationships.
It’s culturally dependent
While eye contact seems straightforward, cultural norms play a huge role in eye contact practices. In Western cultures, eye contact is valued as a sign of confidence, respect, and trustworthiness. But in some Asian, Latin American, Middle Eastern, and Indigenous cultures, direct eye contact is considered rude or disrespectful, especially with authority figures and elders. These cultural differences impact how comfortable people feel sustaining eye contact and their perceptions when another person does so.
It can raise testosterone
Studies have found that direct eye contact between two strangers of the opposite sex can actually spike testosterone levels. In one experiment, men who held eye contact with women they didn’t know experienced elevated testosterone, whereas testosterone tended to drop in males avoiding eye contact. Researchers speculate this hormonal response evolved to prime males for potential competition and courtship arising from contact with unfamiliar females.
It affects non-verbal communication
Since the majority of communication is non-verbal, eye contact plays an important role in understanding other unspoken cues like facial expressions and body language. Quality eye contact improves how accurately we interpret vocal tone, movements, and gestures. Bad or distracted eye contact can lead to missed social cues, mixed messages, and miscommunication.
It’s perceived differently by gender
Research indicates some gender differences in comfort levels with eye contact. In one study, prolonged eye contact left men feeling more positive and receptive. But it made women feel more threatened or upset, unless they already knew and trusted the male gazer. This aligns with other findings that women use more eye contact for bonding, whereas men rely more on eye contact for influence and asserting dominance.
Key points about eye contact
- Creates connection and builds trust
- Can convey attraction, intensity and influence
- Improves listening, understanding, connection
- Reveals emotions, interest, discomfort
- Affects hormones, stress response, immunity
- Follows cultural norms and gender differences
Conclusion
Eye contact is a simple yet powerful form of communication that taps into our deepest social instincts. When mutual and affirming, it builds bonds by alleviating stress and stirring positive emotions. But it requires sincerity, vulnerability and cultural awareness to avoid causing discomfort. Understanding the psychology around eye contact can help us to connect through conversation at a meaningful level.