Remaining single for an extended period of time is becoming more common. People are getting married later or choosing to stay unmarried altogether. While there are certainly benefits to staying single, it also comes with its own set of challenges. This article explores the various effects prolonged singledom can have on someone’s life.
You may feel increased loneliness
One of the most apparent effects of staying single is increased feelings of loneliness. Humans are social creatures by nature. When single, you lack the constant companionship marriage provides. Singles report more feelings of social isolation.
According to a 2022 survey by Match.com:
| Feeling | Single Adults | Married Adults |
| Lonely | 62% | 14% |
This loneliness may worsen over time. One study found participants who stayed single for 7 years became lonelier than their married counterparts. Therapists report more singles seeking help for loneliness today than decades ago.
You may develop more self-reliance
On the positive side, remaining single can nurture self-reliance. When you’re in a relationship, you depend on your partner for companionship. When single, you learn to meet your own social needs. Singles find their own hobbies, travel alone more, and cultivate platonic friendships.
This self-reliance can build confidence. According to social psychologist Bella DePaulo:
“Single people are more connected to parents, siblings, friends, neighbors and coworkers. When people marry, they become more insular.”
This connectivity teaches singles to depend on themselves. They don’t have the convenience of a live-in partner.
You have more freedom and flexibility
Singles also enjoy increased freedom and flexibility. You can decorate your space how you wish without compromise. You can pursue hobbies your partner may disapprove of. You can eat what you want, watch whatever TV you like, and set your own schedule.
Singlehood also provides more career flexibility. It’s easier to relocate or travel frequently for work without uprooting your spouse. Over 25% of single adults have relocated for a job vs only 15% of married folks.
You may have a smaller support system
Although single adults tend to have large social networks outside of their home, they lack the literal support system marriage provides. Your spouse serves as your built-in emergency contact, caregiver if you fall ill, financial partner, and more.
When single, you need to create your own support system for when life gets hard. Make sure you have close friends or family who can serve these roles if needed.
You may have more disposable income
Staying single often correlates with having more disposable income. Common expenses are cheaper without a spouse. Housing costs are lower without needing space for two. Insurance premiums, utilities bills, and grocery costs all see savings compared to those shared with a partner.
According to 2018 data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics:
| Category | Average Annual Cost – Single Person | Average Annual Cost – Married Couple |
| Housing | $9,756 | $16,598 |
| Transportation | $7,893 | $13,476 |
| Food | $7,317 | $8,775 |
Less expenses often allows singles to build more wealth. They also don’t need to consult a spouse for major purchases.
You may experience more anxiety
Prolonged singledom is linked to increased anxiety in some individuals. Why? Partners provide built-in socialization and support. Going solo through adulthood can feel intimidating.
Singles also lose out on the security marriage provides. The comfort of knowing someone always has your back can subdue anxiety. Planning for your future alone can feel daunting.
These factors contribute to higher anxiety rates found in studies of lifelong singletons. According to a 2010 study published in BMC Public Health:
| Group | Lifelong Single Adults | Married Adults |
| Symptoms of anxiety | 23% | 11% |
You have more autonomy in your space
One perk of staying single is greater autonomy over your living space. You don’t have to compromise on decor, cleanliness, organization, or usage of your home. You can decorate however you wish and set up spaces to perfectly suit your needs.
This freedom also allows you to better customize your home to support your lifestyle. For example, a solo entrepreneur may transform the guest room into a home office without discussion.
You avoid common relationship stressors
Legal marriage comes with a unique set of stressors that lifelong singles avoid:
- Financial conflict – Disagreements over money are a top predictor of divorce.
- Lack of regular intimacy – Many long-term couples experience dips in their sex lives.
- Power struggles – Partners often grapple for dominance in decision making.
- Unsupportive spouses – Some partners fail to provide adequate emotional/practical support.
Singles sidestep these issues and enjoy more independence and personal peace as a result.
You have more free time for yourself
Another advantage of staying single is having more free time. Married people spend significant portions of their free time with a spouse. Singles get those extra hours to themselves.
They can devote that time to hobbies, passion projects, more work, or just relaxation. This equates to more freedom and flexibility in your off-hours.
You may miss out on certain social privileges
Unfortunately, lifelong singles report facing stigma in social settings. Society tends to elevate married couples and families. Single adults sometimes feel excluded.
For example, singles are rarely invited on “couples vacations.” Most baby shower and wedding invites are addressed only to the married friend. Holidays spent with family often highlight the singleton status.
This can make it harder for singles to find connection in conventional social circles.
You have no risk of divorce
With prolonged singledom comes zero risk of divorce. The average divorce rate has hovered around 50% for years. Marrying puts you at a coin toss chance of eventually separating legally.
Divorce causes immense financial and emotional damage for most people. Lifelong singles avoid this risk entirely.
You may develop greater self-knowledge
Single people rely less on their partners for self-discovery. Without a constant companion, you learn more about yourself. Hobbies, values, future goals – you determine these solo.
Traveling alone also builds self-knowledge. You choose where to go and what to do. Coping with difficulties breeds resilience.
Overall, lifelong singles tend to have a strong sense of self-awareness and direction.
Conclusion
Staying single long-term definitely comes with tradeoffs. Increased freedom and autonomy counter possible loneliness and anxiety. You may have more disposable income yet lack a central support system.
The impact of sustained singledom varies by individual. If the benefits outweigh the costs for you, embracing the solo life could lead to great fulfillment. The key is crafting a lifestyle that provides meaning, stability, and joy outside of marriage.