Losing a partner is always difficult, no matter the circumstances. When you’ve built a life with someone outside of marriage, however, it can lead to additional challenges and uncertainties if they pass away. Here’s an overview of some key things to know if your unmarried partner dies.
You may not automatically inherit property
One of the biggest areas of confusion involves property inheritance. If you are married, your spouse automatically inherits your assets when you die, unless you specifically disinherit them. With unmarried couples, the default is typically the opposite—your partner does not automatically inherit your property unless your will or estate plan specifies it.
For example, if your partner dies without a will, their property would go to blood relatives like children, parents, or siblings first. As an unmarried partner, you would have no automatic claim. You may be able to contest the estate and claim inheritance as a “domestic partner,” but the laws vary greatly by state.
Steps to protect property inheritance
To make sure your unmarried partner can inherit your property if you die, be proactive with estate planning:
- Create a will naming your partner as a beneficiary
- Set up a joint tenancy deed for shared property you own
- Designate your partner as beneficiary for financial accounts or insurance policies
- Grant your partner power of attorney privileges
These legal arrangements clearly document how you want your assets handled if you pass away. Without them, your partner may end up with no claim to property you shared.
Your partner may not get Social Security benefits
Married people can claim Social Security benefits from a deceased spouse, like a widow or widower benefit. Unmarried partners do not have the same entitlement.
In fact, Social Security generally does not recognize common law marriages for benefit purposes. The only exception is if you live in a state that legally recognizes domestic partnerships or common law marriages.
Otherwise, you cannot claim Social Security income from an unmarried partner’s work history. The best approach is maximizing benefits during your respective lifetimes.
Strategies for unmarried couples and Social Security
- Maximize your own Social Security benefit if possible.
- See if you qualify for survivor benefits from an ex-spouse.
- Look into spouse or widow benefits from a prior marriage.
- Claim benefits on your own work history.
While you cannot inherit Social Security income directly from an unmarried partner, you have options to get your own benefits.
You do not have automatic healthcare or financial rights
When you’re part of a married couple, you gain a variety of legal and financial rights related to healthcare, taxes, insurance claims, and more. Unmarried partners do not have the same automatic rights.
For example, you may not have the right to:
- Make end-of-life care or funeral decisions for your partner
- Access health insurance through your partner’s employer plan
- inherit a shared home without paying estate taxes
- File joint tax returns and receive tax benefits
- Receive wages owed to your partner after their death
- Sue for wrongful death benefits
Without the proper legal arrangements, you have none of the spousal rights granted through marriage. To gain equivalent rights, you must set up your own healthcare and financial power of attorney designations, beneficiary claims, and estate planning documents.
Gaining legal standing as an unmarried partner
Here are some ways unmarried couples can gain legal rights and protections similar to married spouses:
- Set up power of attorney for healthcare and finances
- Complete individual or joint wills naming each other as beneficiaries
- Purchase life insurance or retirement accounts naming each other as beneficiaries
- File as domestic partners if your state allows it
- Seek legal validation of your relationship status from a court, if permitted in your state
With the right arrangements, you can gain many of the significant legal rights granted to spouses. An estate planning lawyer can advise you on the options in your state.
You may have no claims related to child custody
If you and your partner have children together but are unmarried, custody can become complicated if your partner dies. In general, custody would go to the surviving biological parent first.
As the non-biological parent, you would have no automatic legal relationship or claims to the children. The only exception is if you legally adopted the children.
Therefore, it’s crucial for unmarried couples with children to get all possible paperwork and documentation in place:
- Signed adoption paperwork, if the non-biological parent adopts the children
- Legal co-guardianship agreement
- Will naming desired guardian for children
- Written custody agreement outlining visitation and parenting roles
With proper documentation in place, the non-biological parent can show evidence of an established parental role if custody ever becomes disputed.
Securing custody rights as an unmarried parent
To protect custody rights if your partner dies:
- Adopt children together if possible
- File for legal co-guardianship of children
- Show evidence of time spent parenting and caring for children
- Get statements from people documenting you in a parental role
- Consult family lawyers about applicable laws in your state
While custody battles can arise, being proactive improves the chances the surviving parent can maintain the children’s stable home.
You may lose out on tax benefits
Married couples receive preferential tax treatment through factors like:
- Filing joint returns
- Claiming dependents
- Inheriting assets tax-free
- Utilizing spouse-specific deductions and credits
None of these tax benefits apply to unmarried couples by default. You can miss out on significant tax savings as a result.
For example, if your unmarried partner dies and leaves you property, you may owe estate taxes. If you were married, you’d qualify for an unlimited spousal deduction.
Potential tax planning strategies
Some ways unmarried couples could minimize their tax liability include:
- Carefully plan asset titling using trusts or other ownership structures
- Take advantage of applicable estate tax exemptions for singles
- Split gifted assets for reduced gift tax payments
- Explore state-level protections for domestic partners, if applicable
- Review tax returns individually and jointly to optimize
Consulting a tax professional or estate planner can shed light on steps to reduce your tax costs.
You may not get bereavement leave
Under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), employees can take time off work after the death of a spouse without pay.
For unmarried partners, there are no federal protections for bereavement leave. Employers do not have to grant unpaid time off in that scenario.
A handful of states do mandate some bereavement leave rights for domestic partners or family members. Even then, the time off may be more limited compared to spousal bereavement rules.
If you need to take time away from work while grieving and settling your partner’s affairs, be prepared to use vacation/sick days, disability leave, or unpaid leave unless your employer graciously makes an exception.
Coping with work during grief as an unmarried partner
Some tips that may help you navigate work while grieving the loss of an unmarried partner:
- Ask HR if there are any bereavement accommodations or policies that apply.
- Explain your situation to your manager transparently.
- Request flexible schedules or remote work options if helpful.
- Use up any remaining paid time off you have available.
- Take advantage of counseling through an Employee Assistance Program.
- Check if short-term disability leave is an option.
While legal bereavement rights may be limited, compassionate employers can still support you as you navigate loss.
You may struggle more with grief and stress
The death of a spouse has clear legal procedures to follow, like handling a will or notifying government agencies. The roles and protocols are well-defined.
For unmarried partners, the loss is equally devastating emotionally. However, you may not know what you are entitled to handle or participate in. Others may not even see you as next of kin.
This lack of clear procedures, financial uncertainties, potential custody issues, and lack of spousal recognition can multiply the stress during an already anguishing time. The grief process for an unmarried partner can be especially complex and isolating.
Seeking grief support as an unmarried partner
Coping with grief without spousal recognition requires extra self-care strategies like:
- Seeking counseling or grief support groups.
- Relying on trusted friends and family for emotional needs.
- Prioritizing self-care through rest, healthy eating, gentle exercise.
- Joining groups advocating for domestic partner rights.
- Considering couples grief counseling if co-parenting.
- Exploring low-cost or volunteer legal resources as needed.
- Giving yourself grace as you navigate ambiguous loss.
While unique challenges exist, support and understanding from others can make the grief journey more manageable.
Conclusion
Losing an unmarried partner you love deeply bears all the heartache of losing a spouse. However, without the legal marital bond, you may be excluded from many typical spousal rights and protections.
With the right planning and paperwork, you can proactively establish some of the rights married couples receive by default. Even then, extra burdens exist due to a lack of universally recognized spousal status.
By understanding the potential gaps related to property, benefits, children, taxes, leave, and grief support, you can seek solutions to care for yourself and your family during a devastating loss.
While painful and challenging, focusing on self-care and promptly addressing legal uncertainties can help you slowly move forward. With time and support, the grief from losing your life partner can settle into peaceful acceptance.