The Bible has a lot to say about forgiveness. Christians are called to forgive others just as God has forgiven them (Ephesians 4:32). However, the Bible also speaks strongly against those who refuse to forgive others. Unforgiveness is a serious issue that can hinder relationships and one’s walk with God.
What does the Bible teach about forgiveness?
The Bible teaches that Christians should be quick to forgive others, even as God has forgiven them.
Some key Bible verses about forgiveness include:
- “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
- “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)
- “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
These verses show that forgiveness should be a regular part of a Christian’s life. Believers are to forgive others quickly, fully, and sincerely, just as God has forgiven them.
What happens when someone refuses to forgive?
The Bible warns that unforgiveness can have very damaging effects, both relationally and spiritually.
Damaged relationships
Unforgiveness breeds bitterness and resentment. This naturally harms relationships with others:
- “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)
- “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15 NKJV)
These verses warn that unforgiveness can breed bitterness which spreads and defiles many people. When someone refuses to forgive, it damages relationships with others around them.
Hindered prayers
Jesus taught that if we refuse to forgive others, God will not forgive us. This means unforgiveness hinders our relationship with God:
- “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)
- “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15)
With unforgiveness in our hearts, our prayers are hindered. God takes our unwillingness to forgive others as a sign that we do not appreciate how much we have been forgiven by Him.
Torment
Unforgiveness allows the person who hurt us to continue tormenting us even after the actual offense is over. We hold onto the bitterness and anger, replaying the event over and over. However, forgiveness frees us from this torment:
- “Settling accounts” only perpetuates the cycle of offense. whereas forgiveness breaks it. Allow God to take care of the rest.
As long as we refuse to forgive, we allow the offense against us to fester like an open wound. But forgiveness allows us to move past the pain and offense.
Case Studies in the Bible
The Bible includes many real-life case studies showing the benefits of forgiveness and the dangers of unforgiveness. Here are a few key examples:
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus told a parable equating the kingdom of heaven to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. One servant owed him ten thousand bags of gold and begged for mercy. The king had pity on him, forgave his debt completely, and let him go.
But that servant found another servant who owed him a hundred silver coins. When the second servant begged for mercy, he refused and had him thrown in prison. This grieved the king, who then handed him over to be tortured for failing to extend the same mercy he had been given.
Jesus concludes: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (v.35)
Joseph
The story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50 provides a powerful example of forgiveness. Joseph’s brothers hated him and sold him into slavery out of jealousy. After many ups and downs, Joseph became a powerful ruler in Egypt. When a famine hit, his brothers came to Egypt begging for food, not realizing Joseph was the one they’d sold.
Joseph tested his brothers, then revealed his identity and forgave them completely (Genesis 45:4-8). He told them not to feel guilty because God had used their evil actions for good. The family was reconciled and the descendants of Israel were saved.
Stephen
As the first Christian martyr, Stephen demonstrated radical forgiveness even as he was being stoned to death. Acts 7:54-60 tells how Stephen prayed for his killers, asking God not to hold this sin against them. He channeled Jesus, who prayed for God to forgive those who crucified him (Luke 23:34). Stephen broke the cycle of violence by forgiving.
How to practice forgiveness
Forgiveness is an act of the will, enabled by God’s grace. Here are some principles for learning to forgive others biblically:
Pray for a forgiving spirit
Ask God to soften your heart and give you a desire to forgive. The Holy Spirit can change our hearts and empower us to forgive.
Remember how God forgave you
Reflect on the depth of Christ’s mercy and grace towards you. When we grasp the forgiveness we’ve been given, it motivates us to extend that same grace to others.
Obey God’s command
Make the choice to obey God’s Word and forgive, even if you don’t feel like it. Feelings often follow actions. As we choose to forgive, our emotions will catch up.
Let go of bitterness
Forgiveness may be a process, but keep taking steps to release bitterness and resentment. This poisoning of the soul only hurts you, not them. Pray blessings on them instead.
Move forward
Forgiveness enables you to move past the offense and on with life. Refocus on positive things rather than dwelling on what happened. Trust God to bring justice and healing in His timing.
Conclusion
The Bible contains a clear and consistent message about the importance of forgiveness. Christians are called to forgive others just as God forgave them through Christ. Unforgiveness is dangerous, leading to damaged relationships, hindered prayers, and ongoing torment. But biblical forgiveness breaks the cycle of bitterness and leads to emotional and spiritual healing. Though forgiveness can be difficult, God’s grace enables believers to release hurts and offences to Him. This frees us to live in the fullness of His love.