The term “slay” has become a popular slang term used to express admiration or praise for someone. When used in the context of love and relationships, “slay” typically means that someone’s partner or romantic interest is extremely attractive, impressive, or successful.
Definition and Origin of “Slay”
“Slay” first emerged as slang in the 1980s among African American and Latino LGBTQ communities. It originated as a descriptive word for a fierce, confident, and talented drag queen who excelled in performance. “Slay” was likely derived from “slayer,” conveying the idea that someone metaphorically “slays” or exceeds expectations.
The term eventually became more widely adopted in pop culture and social media. By the 2010s, “slay” had also evolved as a general expression conveying excellence, success, power, and desirability. On social media, people often use “slay” to hype up and give accolades to someone they admire.
Meaning of “Slay” in Dating and Relationships
In a romantic context, calling someone a “slayer” or saying they “slay” means:
- They are extremely attractive and good-looking
- They have an awesome, magnetic personality
- They are fashionable, stylish, and put-together
- They are successful, talented, and ambitious
- They impress others and command attention
Essentially, saying your partner or love interest “slays” conveys intense admiration, pride, and affection. It means you find them beautiful, charming, accomplished, and overall amazing. Some examples:
- “Omg babe, you are slaying in that dress tonight!”
- “I’m so lucky to be with someone who slays at everything they do.”
- “I can’t believe I’m dating someone as talented and beautiful as you. You slay!”
Why People Say “Slay” in Relationships
There are several reasons why “slay” has become a popular term in dating and relationships:
- Shows support and admiration – Saying “slay” uplifts and empowers your partner. It’s a way to hype them up and let them know you think they are amazing.
- Displays attraction – Calling your partner a “slayer” expresses that you find them extremely hot and sexy.
- Acknowledges success – If your partner accomplishes something like a promotion at work or personal goal, telling them they are “slaying it” shows your pride.
- Reinforces confidence – Using “slay” can make your partner feel more self-assured and confident in themselves.
- Shows your friends/social media – People also use “slay” when posting about their partner on social media to publicly broadcast how impressive they are.
When is it Appropriate to Use “Slay”?
Here are some tips for when it’s appropriate to describe your partner as a “slayer” or say they “slay”:
- When they accomplish something big and you want to congratulate them
- When they get dressed up for a special occasion and look extra hot
- Casually in conversations to remind them how amazing they are
- In text messages or social media captions praising their talents/skills
- Only use slay for positive contexts, not negatively or to put someone down
However, there are also some scenarios where “slay” may not be appropriate:
- During serious or emotional conversations
- When you want to have an in-depth talk about the relationship
- Around family, coworkers, or mixed company where slang could be misinterpreted
- If your partner has expressed they don’t like that kind of slang or praise
It all comes down to reading the situation – slay when you want to flatter, but know it’s not for every occasion.
Does “Slay” Objectify or Demean?
Some criticize the use of “slay” and similar hyperbolic slang in relationships. Detractors argue it can promote an unhealthy focus on superficial qualities over deeper connection. However, many defenders don’t view the term as objectifying or demeaning when used positively.
There are a few factors that influence whether “slay” is problematic or not:
- The intention behind saying it – uplifting vs putting someone down
- Whether both partners enjoy and use the slang term
- The level of respect, care, and connection in the relationship overall
- How often the slang is used compared to meaningful compliments
Ultimately, couples determine for themselves what works in their own relationship dynamic. If said in a spirit of mutual love and admiration, slay can be a fun way for couples to hype each other up.
Alternative Ways to Praise Your Partner
While “slay” can positively reinforce your partner, relying too much on slang can become shallow. Here are some other meaningful ways to praise your loved one:
- Compliment specific qualities – Express admiration for their creativity, determination, thoughtfulness, etc.
- Recognize important achievements – Praise accomplishments related to their goals and dreams.
- Appreciate who they are – Talk about how you love their quirks, passions, and ambitions.
- Acknowledge growth – Notice ways they have developed and matured over time.
- Reassure during challenges – If they are struggling, reaffirm your belief in them.
Personal, sincere compliments emphasizing intimate knowledge of your partner can mean more than any trendy slang.
Conclusion
Saying “slay” expresses intense admiration for your partner’s success, talents, style, beauty, and overall awesomeness. It can be positive when used genuinely to uplift and empower. However, couples should balance “slay” with more meaningful compliments focused on deeper connection. With mutual respect and affection, “slay” can be a fun bit of slang between partners. Just don’t let it become a replacement for substantive praise, attention, and understanding.