The apostle Paul provides significant teaching in the New Testament on the topic of singleness and marriage. As an unmarried person himself, Paul spoke from personal experience about the challenges and opportunities of the single life. His teachings offer guidance for how both single and married followers of Jesus should think about their state in life.
Paul’s Personal Background
Paul himself was single throughout his ministry. In 1 Corinthians 7, when discussing marriage, he notes that he does not have a wife (1 Cor. 7:8). As a devout Jew and former Pharisee, it is possible Paul had been married earlier in his life, but Scripture does not indicate definitively one way or the other. What we do know is that during his ministry as an apostle, Paul was unmarried.
Paul’s singleness gave him a unique perspective on what it was like to be single. It allowed him certain freedoms in ministry that married leaders could not enjoy. For example, he was able to travel extensively without concern for leaving a family behind. He could also give his complete devotion to the Lord’s work without needing to consider the interests of a spouse (see 1 Cor. 7:32-35).
However, Paul’s singleness also came with challenges. There were times he longed for companionship (2 Tim. 4:9-13). As an unmarried man, he had to exercise constant self-control over sexual desires and passions that could potentially distract him from ministry. Overall though, Paul saw both the blessings and struggles of singleness and he wrote about them candidly.
Staying Single for the Sake of the Kingdom
One of Paul’s frequent themes is that remaining single enables greater devotion to the Lord’s work. In 1 Corinthians 7:25-35, Paul encourages believers to consider staying single if they have the gift for it. He writes:
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Paul’s perspective is that unmarried people, both men and women, have an advantage in being able to devote themselves fully to God’s work. They do not have to split their interests between pleasing a spouse and serving the Lord.
Of course, Paul is not saying marriage is incompatible with serving God. Elsewhere, he encourages married couples not to deprive one another but to prioritize their marriage relationship (1 Cor. 7:3-5). His point is simply that those who remain single can have greater freedom and focus to pursue God’s calling on their lives. Some believers have the gift of celibacy, and for them staying single allows maximal impact for the kingdom.
Cautions About Burning with Passion
Paul understood that one challenge of remaining single is controlling sexual desire. Although he encourages singleness for those called to it, he also gives cautions about the danger of burning with passion:
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband…But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Cor. 7:1-2, 9)
Paul is saying that marriage is one honorable way to fulfill natural sexual desires. Those who do not have the gift of celibacy should pursue marriage rather than face constant temptation. This is wise advice from a spiritual leader who knew the real challenges of singleness firsthand.
Making the Most of Singleness
For those who do remain single, Paul has practical encouragement about how to thrive in this season. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, he describes the benefits of singleness already mentioned above – undivided focus on pleasing God, undistracted devotion to the Lord’s work. Paul sees singleness not as a burden but an opportunity to live all out for Jesus.
In his letter to the church at Corinth, Paul also recognizes that earthly relationships are temporary compared to eternity. “…the present form of this world is passing away” (1 Cor 7:31). This was encouragement for single believers to keep an eternal perspective and not get overwhelmed by earthly concerns. Paul saw singleness as a chance to invest fully in what lasts forever – God’s kingdom.
Managing Sexuality and Relationships
For managing sexuality, Paul repeatedly emphasized self-control through the power of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). He knew sexual desire was God-given but needed to be controlled to avoid sin. Although a eunuch from birth, he declared, “I discipline my body and keep it under control” (1 Cor. 9:27). This discipline was needed both to remain pure before marriage and to serve God faithfully in whatever state believers found themselves. Self-control was essential both for single and married followers of Christ.
In his “household codes,” Paul instructs both husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and slaves how to live according to God’s design (Eph. 5:21-6:9). Although not married, his instructions modeled Godly character qualities that should mark all Christian relationships, whether single or married.
Waiting on the Lord
For those struggling with singleness who wished to be married, Paul encouraged waiting on the Lord’s timing. He wrote that it is “better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor. 7:9) but he did not say believers should simply pursue relationships impulsively. Elsewhere Scripture describes how God is at work providentially bringing a husband and wife together (Proverbs 18:22). Paul would counsel patience for God to direct willing hearts toward marriage at the appropriate time.
Paul also recognized the value of godly counsel from spiritual leaders within the church. Rather than insisting on complete autonomy, single believers especially should seek out guidance from pastors/elders as they navigate relationships and discern future marriage (see Hebrews 13:17). God often provides direction through the input of wise, biblically grounded leaders.
Table 1 – Comparison of Singleness and Marriage
| Singleness | Marriage |
|---|---|
| Undivided focus on God | Needs to balance priorities of spouse |
| More freedom in ministry and service | Obligations to family limit flexibility |
| Battles sexual temptation alone | Sexual desires fulfilled in marriage relationship |
| More time for spiritual disciplines | Busyness of family life can crowd out spiritual practices |
| Loneliness possible at times | Companionship and partnership |
Paul’s Example of Godly Singleness
In many ways Paul embodies the principles he teaches about singleness. He was completely devoted to preaching the gospel throughout the known world. The book of Acts records his extensive missionary journeys to spread the good news of Jesus. Although he enjoyed the company of fellow believers like Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, and Titus, he did not require a spouse to labor effectively for God’s kingdom.
Paul avoided inappropriate entanglements that could have threatened his moral integrity and distracted from ministry. He exhibited self-control in the midst of a sexually immoral culture. He utilized his freedom to serve God wholeheartedly as a single person.
Paul’s life modeled the joy and generosity he wrote about to the Corinthians who supported his missionary work: “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7). Though single, Paul was able to be remarkably fruitful for Christ.
Conclusion
In summary, Paul provided wisdom and perspective from his own experience about serving God faithfully as a single person. He described both blessings and challenges that come with singleness. Paul explained how staying unmarried can enable greater devotion to the Lord’s work – a noble calling. His teachings and example offer inspiration for single believers making the most of this special season of life.
At the same time, Paul identified the temptation to sexual immorality that single believers battle. He encouraged marriage for those without the gift of celibacy. Overall, Paul taught that whether single or married, the key was using whatever situation believers found themselves in to love and serve God wholeheartedly. By God’s grace this allows His followers to thrive in whatever state of life He has called them to.