Dogs form extremely strong bonds with their human families. We welcome them into our homes, feed them, play with them, and care for them. So it’s only natural that our canine companions would miss us when we leave, even if it’s just for a little while. Understanding what goes through your dog’s mind in your absence can help you minimize any anxiety and make sure they feel comfortable and secure.
Why does my dog act distressed when I leave?
Dogs are pack animals, meaning they naturally live in social groups. This pack mentality means they crave constant companionship. When you, as their cherished human companion, leave them, they may feel sad, stressed, or anxious at the disruption in their social group. Some signs your dog is distressed when you leave include:
- Whining, barking, or howling
- Pacing
- Panting
- Loss of appetite
- Destructive behavior like chewing or digging
Dogs may react this way due to separation anxiety, a condition where they become overly distressed when separated from their owners. But keep in mind many dogs just have mild anxiety about being left alone. Their distress stems from their pack mentality and the comfort they feel with you near.
What is my dog thinking when I leave?
It’s impossible to completely know a dog’s thoughts, but here are some of the things that may be going through their mind when you head out the door:
- “When is my person coming back?” Since they can’t understand time like humans, they may not know the length of your absence.
- “How long have they been gone?” The concept of minutes versus hours is lost on dogs.
- “Did they leave forever?” Dogs can’t reason that you’ll return eventually.
- “Why did they leave me?” They don’t understand your reasons for leaving.
- “I miss them.” Your dog likely feels genuine sadness that you’re gone.
- “How can I get them back?” Whining, pacing, etc. are attempts to make you reappear.
- “Did I do something wrong?” They may blame themselves for your departure.
- “I’m scared/anxious.” Being alone can cause true anxiety for dogs.
Essentially, dogs crave your companionship and don’t understand why you’ve disappeared. The resulting confusion and sadness can cause real distress.
Does my dog think I abandoned them?
While some severely anxious dogs may harbor abandonment thoughts, most reasonably bonded dogs understand you are coming back. While sad, they do not feel the same type of betrayal a human might. However, habits that reinforce the bond are still important. Always try to:
- Greet your dog excitedly upon returning home.
- Avoid sneaking out without saying goodbye.
- Keep departures calm and happy vs. stressed.
- Stick to regular routines when possible.
- Leave recently worn clothing to comfort your dog.
- Give them a treat, toy, or chew upon departure.
These actions help reinforce that you are coming back and your dog has not been abandoned.
My dog seems fine when I leave. Are they really okay?
Every dog has a unique personality and comfort level with being alone. While some dogs show obvious distress, others may cope just fine. Signs your dog handles time apart without stress include:
- Little or no whining, pacing, or other anxious behaviors after you leave.
- Relaxing behaviors like sleeping or chewing a toy while you’re gone.
- Minimal or no destruction/house soiling.
- Eating and drinking normally.
- Happy, calm demeanor upon your return.
- No signs of injury from frantic attempts to escape.
If your dog shows these signs, they are likely comfortable home alone for normal durations like work and errands. But that doesn’t mean they don’t miss you! Just monitor closely for any signs of anxiety developing over time.
How long can I leave my dog alone?
There is no universal answer, as each dog has different needs. Consider factors like:
- Your dog’s separation anxiety level.
- Age – puppies should not be left for extended periods.
- Overall health.
- How long they can hold their bladder/bowels.
- Access to water, shade/climate control, etc.
- History of destructiveness.
- Whether they are crated or loose.
As a general guideline, a healthy adult dog without separation issues can be left alone for 4-6 hours. Puppies and elderly or anxious dogs may only tolerate 1-2 hours. Know your pet’s limits and check in/hire a walker if needed for longer absences.
How can I ease my dog’s anxiety when I leave?
If your dog struggles with separation distress, there are many ways to help them feel more secure when you go. Some options include:
- Crate training for a safe, enclosed space.
- Prescription anti-anxiety medication.
- Calming supplements.
- Dog appeasing pheromone (DAP) plug-ins.
- Interactive puzzle toys with treats.
- Playing calming music or leaving the TV on.
- Letting them bring a favorite toy to their crate or room.
- Using baby gates to limit access vs. shutting doors.
- Hiring a dog walker for midday relief.
- Consistent routines with exercise beforehand.
You can also work on separation training to gradually increase alone time. Seek guidance from your vet for severe cases. Medication plus behavior modification is most effective.
What activities help dogs with separation anxiety?
The right activities can tire out your dog both physically and mentally to minimize anxious behaviors. Good options include:
| Activity | Benefits |
|---|---|
| Walks | Lowers stress hormones and energy level |
| Playing fetch | Wears them out and reinforces your bond |
| Food puzzles | Provides mental stimulation and reward |
| Chewing | Calms dogs by releasing endorphins |
| Training sessions | Mentally tiring and reinforces commands |
| Socializing | Boosts confidence and energy expenditure |
Aim for at least 30-60 minutes of activity split between physical exercise and mental stimulation before you leave.
Should I crate my dog when I’m gone?
Crate training, when done properly, provides many anxious dogs a safe space that feels like a den. Benefits of crating while you’re away include:
- Prevents destructive behaviors like chewing.
- Gives dogs their own space to feel secure.
- Can house train puppies faster.
- Keeps dogs safely confined if trying to escape.
- Avoids health issues from getting into things.
However, crating is not for all dogs. Avoid crating if it creates more stress or your dog soils the crate. Troubleshoot by removing bedding, sizing up, or trying a pen instead. Proper crate training involves acclimating them slowly.
Should I get another dog to keep my dog company?
It’s understandable to think another dog might ease your pet’s separation struggles. However, simply getting a second dog is not a good solution in most cases. While some bonded, familiar dogs do well together, the cons often outweigh the pros:
- It’s a major, lifelong commitment caring for two pets.
- Dogs unfamiliar with each other may fight or be stressed.
- They can develop behavioral issues like jealousy.
- It’s twice the expense for food, vet care, etc.
- You still need to train for alone time.
- More destruction or elimination if left together.
- Double the trouble if they develop issues.
Instead of immediately getting a second dog, focus on training techniques to help your current dog feel comfortable alone. If you eventually want another well-matched companion, great! But don’t do it just to ease separation distress.
How can I ease guilt over leaving my dog?
It’s normal to feel guilty leaving your devoted companion at home. But remember:
- Some alone time is healthy and gives them downtime.
- You provide them with a life of love and care.
- They are likely just resting, not traumatized.
- Separation anxiety is fixable with training.
- You deserve a life outside your pet!
- Dogs sleep over half the day anyway.
- Their distress is temporary and they recover.
- With preparation, most dogs learn to tolerate time alone.
Leaving is part of responsible pet ownership. Focus on meeting their needs before and after trips. Take it slowly if very anxious, and seek help if needed. But don’t feel guilty about having a job, social life or errands!
How can I tell if my dog has separation anxiety?
Signs your dog may have a true separation anxiety disorder include:
- Destructiveness only when left alone (i.e. scratching doors, shredded objects).
- Eliminating only when left alone.
- Trying to escape via doors or windows.
- Howling, whining, barking the whole time you are gone.
- Pacing, panting, trembling when you prepare to leave.
- Not eating or responding to toys when alone.
- Repetitive behavior such as licking themselves raw.
- Depression or lethargy after you return.
True separation anxiety is chronic and severe. But many dogs just have mild distress that is manageable. Discuss your concerns with your veterinarian.
How can I prevent separation anxiety?
For dogs who seem prone to attachment issues, you can lay foundations for more independence early on:
- Ensure they have enough exercise, training and attention daily.
- Gradually get them used to alone time in increments starting young.
- Crate train them to build positive associations.
- Give them “jobs” like puzzles and chews when alone.
- Avoid overly emotional hellos/goodbyes.
- Allow access to rooms vs. shutting doors.
- Celebrate calm, independent behavior.
- Ask others to care for your dog sometimes.
- Socialize them to build confidence.
Preventing overdependence and separation distress takes patience and consistency. But it’s worthwhile for your dog’s well-being.
When should I seek help for separation anxiety?
If your dog exhibits extreme signs of separation distress, like injuring themselves or soiling in the house every time you leave, seek professional help. Recommendations for severe separation anxiety include:
- Veterinary consult for prescription anti-anxiety medication.
- Certified separation anxiety trainer.
- Veterinary behaviorist.
Signs your dog’s separation anxiety requires professional intervention include:
- Destructiveness that causes self-injury.
- Eliminating whenever alone despite housetraining.
- Escaping crates/yards and roaming loose.
- Not responding to training techniques.
- Excessive barking resulting in complaints.
- Loss of appetite, lethargy or depression.
- Harming themselves from panic.
Don’t hesitate to seek medication or specialized help if your dog’s distress is beyond your management. Your veterinarian can provide referrals.
Conclusion
Dogs form deep attachments to their beloved human families. So it’s understandable they feel anxious or sad when we disappear for periods of time. By understanding the thought processes behind their separation distress, pet owners can minimize negative behaviors and make sure their dogs feel comfortable and secure. While some dogs require professional support for severe separation anxiety, most can learn to tolerate being alone with preparation, prevention, and plenty of love at reunion. With patience and training, you can have an independent yet affectionate dog who greets your return with joy instead of stress.