A hickey, also known as a love bite or kiss mark, is a temporary bruise or mark caused by kissing or sucking on the skin, usually on the neck or arm. Hickeys are formed when the suction from the mouth causes the blood vessels under the skin to break, creating a bruise-like mark.
While hickeys are sometimes viewed as insignificant, they can actually symbolize and represent deeper meanings in relationships. Hickeys can be seen as symbols of passion, desire, possession, and intimacy. For some, giving or receiving a hickey can symbolize a level of commitment and exclusivity in a romantic relationship. Let’s explore further what exactly a hickey can symbolize.
Passion and Desire
One of the most common symbolic meanings behind a hickey is that it represents passion and sexual desire between partners. The act of giving a hickey itself is an intimate and passionate gesture, usually done in the heat of the moment. The mark left behind acts as a reminder of the passionate encounter, sometimes causing excitement when seen or felt later on.
The intensity of the passion that leads to a hickey can also correlate to the intensity of the mark itself. A bright, dark hickey indicates vigorous passion, whereas a lighter mark suggests a gentler intimate moment. The longevity of a hickey similarly can symbolize the depth of desire – a longer lasting mark implies a heightened level of lust and attraction between partners.
Overall, hickeys are strongly associated with passion, intimacy and sensuality. The giving and receiving of a hickey demonstrates desire and care for your partner’s pleasure. So while the act of giving a hickey causes a “mark of ownership”, that possessiveness also reflects attraction, veneration and craving for the partner.
Possession and Belonging
In addition to passion, hickeys are also symbolic of possession and belonging between romantic partners. A hickey can be seen as a “mark of ownership” over one’s lover, or a sign that “this person is taken”. It demonstrates a level of commitment and exclusivity in the relationship.
The visible nature of a hickey displays that intimacy and passion has occurred, signalling to others that your partner is “off the market”. In this way, a hickey can be a territorial sign to potential suitors that your partner is romantically involved. It marks your lover as “yours” physically through the love bite.
This territorial symbolism of a hickey can sometimes be problematic however, as it objectifies and places “ownership” over one’s partner. Some can view hickeys as disrespectful for this reason. However, many couples enjoy the mutual possessiveness and sense of belonging a hickey represents in a consensual loving relationship.
Trust and Intimacy
Beyond passion and possession, a hickey also symbolizes trust and intimacy between romantic partners. To give or receive a love bite, you must have a certain level of comfort, familiarity and confidence with your partner.
The neck area in particular is vulnerable and delicate. Permitting your lover to kiss and suck on your neck demonstrates comfort and trust in allowing them close access. You trust them not to hurt or take things too far. The intimacy of the neck area heightens the sensuality of the act.
Letting the hickey remain visible afterwards rather than covering it up also shows trust in your partner. You are not embarrassed or ashamed, but proud to display the symbol of passion you share together. A hickey demonstrates confidence and openness within an intimate, affectionate relationship.
Excitement and Playfulness
While hickeys have deeper relationship symbolism, they can also simply represent excitement, fun and playfulness between partners. Hickeys can be a novel and experimental experience, especially for younger couples. The covert nature can evoke thrills.
Giving your lover a hickey allows you to explore and push boundaries in new sensual ways. It can create laughs, squeals, and arousal. The joy comes from trying something new and taboo together. The playfulness comes from leaving your mark on your lover for them to discover later. A hickey can simply represent youthfulness, fun and adventure in a relationship.
Downsides to the Symbolism
However, the symbolism behind hickeys also has its downsides. As mentioned, the “ownership” meaning can promote unhealthy possessiveness and objectification in relationships. It’s important that hickeys are only given with consent and comfort.
The visible nature of hickeys can also lead to negative judgements from others – assumptions that you are immature, reckless or “overly sexual”. Many workplaces frown upon visible hickeys, requiring coverage. Parents may disapprove of hickeys on their children. The taboo nature still remains.
The pain in receiving a hickey may also dampen the romance behind the symbolism for some. Too much suction can cause sensitivity and soreness that distracts from the pleasurable symbolism of passion. Some simply do not enjoy the feeling.
Conclusion
While seemingly a temporary bruise, hickeys actually carry deeper relationship symbolism. The intimacy in giving and receiving a hickey represents passion, desire, possession, trust, playfulness and belonging between romantic partners. But consent and comfort are paramount.
The symbolism has downsides too – the “ownership” meaning can promote unhealthy posessiveness if taken too far. Judgement from others can also taint the excitement. But between two trusting, consenting partners, a hickey can represent a sexy secret symbol of their special bond. So next time you spot a hickey, know it signifies more than initially meets the eye.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does a hickey on the breast symbolize?
A hickey on the breast demonstrates passion and intimacy, but also carries symbolism of nurturing. The breast area represents femininity, motherhood, and nurturing. A hickey here suggests trust and care between partners. It also shows desire for your lover’s delicate feminine attributes.
Do hickeys symbolize cheating?
Sometimes. Hickeys are strongly associated with infidelity when a person in a monogamous relationship receives one from someone outside the relationship. But context matters – consenting polyamorous couples may give hickeys with multiple partners. The secrecy of cheating may compel a “forbidden fruit” hickey.
Can you give yourself a hickey? What would this symbolize?
It is possible to give yourself a hickey, though tricky. Doing so does not carry the symbolism of passion, intimacy or possession associated with a lover’s hickey. Self-given hickeys may represent boredom, experimentation, or a desire to fabricate a lover’s hickey. But without the trust of another, the symbolism differs greatly.
| Body Area | Symbolism |
|---|---|
| Neck | Intimacy, vulnerability, passion |
| Breast | Nurturing, femininity, care |
| Inner Thigh | Sexual desire, eroticism |
| Lip | Aggression, intensity, lust |
| Shoulder | Comfort, familiarity, tenderness |
What does the location of a hickey reveal about the symbolism?
Where the hickey is placed also impacts the symbolism:
– Neck – Intimacy, vulnerability, passion
– Breast – Nurturing, femininity, care
– Inner Thigh – Sexual desire, eroticism
– Lip – Aggression, intensity, lust
– Shoulder – Comfort, familiarity, tenderness
More intimate areas imply deeper passion and sensuality. Hidden spots suggest secrecy and possessiveness. Easily visible areas show pride and confidence in the intimacy. Location influences the nuances of the symbolism.
What does the size of a hickey symbolize?
A larger, darker hickey generally symbolizes intense passion and rougher intimacy during its creation. A larger mark demonstrates the vigorous suction and pressure applied. The duration spent also impacts size. A smaller, faint mark conversely suggests more gentle, temperate intimacy. Size reflects the depth of lustful desire and fervor during the encounter.
Do hickeys symbolize positive or negative things in a relationship?
Hickeys generally symbolize positive sentiments of passion, trust and belonging in a consensual relationship. But they can also represent negatives like objectification, possessiveness and infidelity when taken too far or used to cheat. Healthy relationships keep the symbolism positive. Unhealthy relationships can twisting the symbolism in a problematic way. Moderation and consent are key.
What does it mean if someone likes giving hickeys but not receiving them?
This may demonstrate a power imbalance, with one partner seeking to mark “ownership” without reciprocating vulnerability. The giver may wish to signal passion, but not trust the partner enough to be marked themselves. Differing hickey perspectives in a couple can reflect intimacy issues and questionable possessiveness. Mutual consent is essential.
Do hickeys symbolize maturity or immaturity in a relationship?
Perspective varies. Some view hickeys as juvenile – the realm of hormonal teenagers rather than serious couples. But others view passionate hickeys, when done with care and consent, as symbols of an exciting, thriving intimate life. Maturity involves understanding boundaries and implications. Immaturity is forcing hickeys without regard for consequences or discomfort. Mutual respect determines maturity more than hickeys themselves.