In Judaism, mourning practices and comforting the bereaved are central tenets of the faith. When someone dies, it is customary to express condolences and concern for the family in Hebrew, the holy language of the Jewish people. Certain Hebrew phrases are commonly used during shiva, the seven-day mourning period following a death. Understanding the meaning behind these sentiments can bring comfort to the mourners.
What is shiva?
Shiva is the week-long mourning period in Judaism during which family members gather together in one home to grieve the loss of a loved one. The word “shiva” means seven, marking the seven days of mourning. Sitting shiva is considered an act of honor and respect for the deceased.
During shiva, mirrors are covered, mourners refrain from shaving or cutting their hair, and worship services are held in the shiva home. As friends and community members come to pay respects, it is traditional to make a donation to charity in memory of the deceased.
Key Hebrew phrases used when someone dies
Here are some of the most common Hebrew phrases used during shiva and condolence visits:
HaMakom yenachem etchem b’toch she’ar aveilei Tzion v’Yerushalayim
This is one of the most well-known traditional condolences. The phrase means “May God comfort you among all the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” It recognizes the mourners’ pain while also connecting their personal loss to the whole of the Jewish people and the land of Israel.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet
Meaning “Blessed be the True Judge,” this brief condolence recognizes that God is just and all deaths are according to His will. It is an acknowledgment of His power even in difficult times.
Zecher tzaddik livracha
Used when talking about the deceased, this phrase means “May the memory of the righteous be a blessing.” It honors their memory and wishes that it lives on as a positive influence.
HaMakom yinachem etcha/etchem/eten b’toch sh’ar availai Tzion v’Yerushalayim.
This condolence mirrors the first on this list but is directed at an individual rather than a group. It says, “May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” This version acknowledges individual loss and grief.
Yehi zichro/zichrah baruch
Meaning “May his/her memory be blessed,” this personalized condolence blesses the remembrance of the individual who has died. It is recognizing their life and legacy.
What to say when visiting a shiva home
Visiting a house of mourning during shiva is called a shiva call. Here are some appropriate phrases when making a shiva call:
HaMakom yenachem etchem b’toch shear aveilei Tzyon v’Yerushalayim.
As mentioned above, this traditional condolence recognizes the mourners’ sorrow while connecting it to all of Israel. It is an appropriate greeting to use when first entering a shiva home.
Amen.
The Hebrew word “Amen” is used to mean “so be it” when responding to hearing news of a person’s death. By saying Amen, you are solemnly acknowledging the loss.
He/she was a blessing. I feel lucky to have known him/her.
Speaking positively about the deceased, sharing warm memories, and focusing on their best attributes are thoughtful ways to console the bereaved. Reminiscing shows you care.
My condolences for your loss.
Simple, direct expressions of sympathy are always welcome. Stating your condolences plainly makes it clear you empathize with their grief.
I’m here for you – please let me know if you need anything.
Offering practical help relieves some pressure during the mourning period. Reaching out with understanding supports the bereaved.
May his/her memory always be for a blessing.
Looking to the future, this phrase wishes that remembrance of the deceased continues to positively impact others. It finds hope in their lasting legacy.
What to write when sending condolences
In addition to visiting and speaking with mourners face-to-face, sending condolences in writing is also customary. Here are some helpful phrases to include in a condolence letter or card:
HaMakom yenachem etchem b’toch shear aveilei Tzyon v’Yerushalayim.
As mentioned, this traditional phrase is appropriate for both spoken and written condolences. It lets the family know you share in their grief.
My deepest sympathies are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Expressing heartfelt empathy is a thoughtful gesture. This phrase lets them know you feel their pain and are there in spirit.
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.
This traditional saying asks that the deceased’s soul remain immortalized with God. It is a comforting wish for the afterlife.
Wishing you peace and comfort as you honor the memory of your loved one.
Honoring their need to mourn while wishing them comfort shows sensitivity. It acknowledges this challenging transition.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Simply stating that they are in your thoughts and prayers lets them know they are not alone, even from a distance. It is a comforting message of support.
What do you say to someone who lost a loved one?
Losing someone you care about is devastating. If you want to express condolences to a friend or loved one grieving a death, here are some caring sentiments to share:
I was so saddened to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences.
Starting with an expression of sadness opens the door for comfort. It validates their grief and heartbreak.
Your loved one was so special. I will miss him/her dearly.
When you lose someone close to you, it helps to know others share your sense of loss. Reminding them the deceased touched many lives is meaningful.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help – I am always here for you.
Offering practical assistance, even in small ways, is enormously helpful to the bereaved. Make it clear you want to support them any way you can.
I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Simply letting them know they are in your prayers reassures them they are not alone in their sadness. It is a subtle but kind gesture.
May his/her memory be a blessing and a comfort to you.
Hoping that fond memories of the deceased will eventually bring comfort recognizes the complex mix of grief and grace after loss. It is a thoughtful sentiment.
Uplifting Hebrew blessings and wishes for the bereaved
Here are some additional Hebrew blessings and wishes that bring hope and encouragement to mourners:
HaMakom yenachem etchem b’toch she’ar availai Tzion v’Yerushalayim.
This phrase meaning “May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem” connects grieving Jews across time and place.
Baruch Atah Adonai, Dayan Ha-Emet.
“Blessed are You, Adonai, the true Judge” acknowledges God’s justness at a time when death can feel cruel and senseless.
Zichronam livrachah.
The memory of the deceased brings blessing when their legacy continues to inspire those who mourn them.
Yehi zichram baruch.
A simple blessing, “May their memory be blessed” honors the life of the departed.
HaMakom yenachem etchem b’toch sh’ar availai Tzion v’Yerushalayim
Repeating this unifying phrase envelops mourners in comfort.
Oseh shalom bimromav, Hu yaaseh shalom aleinu v’al kol Israel.
“May the One who makes peace in the heavens make peace upon us and all Israel.” This blessing asks for comfort and healing.
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam, dayan ha-emet.
Praising God as the true Judge, even in hardship, declares trust in His goodness.
How to offer comfort through presence
Beyond spoken and written words, your presence alone can provide solace to people who are grieving. Here are some ways to bring comfort through your presence:
Be fully present
Give your complete attention when visiting or speaking to the bereaved. Listen attentively. Offer your caring eyes and a tender touch. Physical presence shows you care.
Share happy memories
Comment on the unique and endearing qualities of the deceased. Share positive memories that bring their spirit to life. This supports the mourning process.
Offer practical help
Assist with meals, chores, errands, childcare, or other tasks to ease the mourner’s daily burden. Lend a hand without being asked.
Attend the funeral or shiva
Make an effort to attend rituals and gatherings, even if you were not close with the deceased. Your presence alone brings comfort and shows respect.
Be patient
Mourning has no timeline. Offer compassion and keep supporting the bereaved long after others have moved on. Check in periodically for months or years to come.
What to say when you don’t know what to say
Sometimes no words feel sufficient when offering condolences. Lean on these simple phrases when at a loss:
I’m sorry for your loss.
This straightforward expression of sympathy acknowledges the mourner’s pain. It can be reassuring in its simplicity.
Thinking of you and your family.
When nothing else comes to mind, just saying they are in your thoughts recognizes their grief without trying to lessen it.
Your loved one touched so many lives.
Focusing on the deceased’s positive impact is uplifting. Reminding the bereaved of this legacy is powerful.
Please know I’m here for anything you need.
Offering practical help – even just a listening ear – reminds the mourner they are supported. Follow through on this pledge.
You and your loved one are in my prayers.
Letting them know they are being prayed for brings spiritual and emotional comfort. It shows heartfelt care.
Conclusion
In times of loss, mourners draw comfort from community, ritual, and centuries of Jewish tradition. Simple Hebrew blessings and condolences from friends or strangers alike remind the bereaved that their loved one’s memory lives on. By taking time to visit, share memories, or write thoughtful notes, you can provide meaningful consolation to someone grieving a death. Your presence and concern for their wellbeing during shiva or long after conveys that they are not alone in their grief. A listening ear, helping hand, or “HaMakom yenachem” goes a long way.