Making out is an exciting and intimate experience that many people enjoy. However, it can also create some questions, especially for those who are new to kissing and making out. One common question is what to do with your tongue when you make out.
Should you use tongue when you make out?
Using your tongue when making out is a personal preference. Some people enjoy the sensation and intimacy of French kissing, which involves using your tongue. Others prefer to keep kissing simple with just lip action. There is no right or wrong, as long as both people are comfortable with the level of involvement.
Here are some quick points on whether or not to use tongue:
- It’s completely normal to use tongue while making out. Many people enjoy French kissing.
- Don’t feel like you have to use tongue if you don’t want to. Stick to what makes you comfortable.
- Try starting without tongue and slowly introduce it if you both want to explore French kissing.
- Pay attention to your partner’s cues on if they enjoy tongue or want to dial it back.
- Good hygiene and regular dental care help make tongue kissing more pleasant for you and your partner.
Tongue kissing techniques
If you and your kissing partner are interested in using tongue while making out, there are some techniques that can help make the experience enjoyable for both of you.
Start slow with some tongue contact
Rather than immediately inserting your tongue deeply into your partner’s mouth, it’s better to start slow. Gently brush your tongue against their lips or tongue and see how they respond. This creates some sensual anticipation and allows you both to get comfortable with the new sensations.
Don’t jam your tongue down their throat
Inserting your tongue too forcefully or deeply can gag your partner or make them feel overwhelmed. Keep your tongue motions soft and exploratory in the beginning. As you both get more comfortable, you can use slightly more tongue involvement.
Take turns between active and passive tongue roles
Having one partner constantly on the offense with their tongue while the other is passive can get tiring and feel one-sided. Try taking turns being the one exploring your partner’s mouth with your tongue versus letting them explore yours.
Use your lips and mouth too
Don’t get so focused on what your tongue is doing that you forget to involve your lips too. Keep your lips active in the kissing so it’s not all tongue. Break things up by returning to regular lip kissing periodically.
Let your tongue be exploratory
Rather than just thrusting your tongue around randomly, let it move with purpose. Explore different motions and areas, paying attention to your partner’s response. Use your tongue to caress theirs, trace their lips, or explore the sensations of their mouth.
Incorporate lip sucking or biting
Mixing in some playful lip sucking or gentle biting with the tongue action can increase the passion and sensations. Just be sure to check if your partner is into that before getting too carried away with biting or hickey making.
Keep your tongue relaxed and flexible
Tensing up your tongue into a rigid point isn’t the most comfortable or sensual feeling. Try to keep your tongue relaxed so it stays flexible and supple when kissing.
Avoid too much saliva exchange
Some saliva mixing while tongue kissing is inevitable. But try not to let things get too sloppy and wet. It can help to swallow periodically to reduce excess saliva. Keeping intensity in check can also prevent aggressive saliva swapping.
Pay attention to feedback
Listen for your partner’s cues like moans or heavy breathing to know when your tongue techniques feel good. Adjust what you’re doing if they seem turned off or overwhelmed. Communication is key for great tongue kissing.
How to prepare for tongue kissing
Hygiene and preparation can make tongue kissing much more pleasant for you and your making out partner. Here are some tips for getting ready:
- Brush and floss your teeth thoroughly before kissing to prevent bad breath.
- Avoid heavy foods like garlic or onion right before making out which can lead to odor.
- Stay hydrated by drinking water throughout the day for better saliva flow.
- Apply lip balm with a pleasant taste if your lips tend to get dry and chapped.
- Pop a breath mint if you want an extra fresh mouth feeling before kissing.
- Keep facial hair trimmed to prevent irritation from stubble burn.
If you plan to use tongue while making out, it doesn’t hurt to give your mouth some extra attention in your hygiene routine. A few simple steps can make the experience much more pleasant.
How to be a good kisser
Mastering the art of kissing and making out takes some practice. Here are tips for being an amazing kisser whether you use tongue or not:
- Make sure your partner is comfortable with everything you’re doing.
- Establish consent and check in if you try something new like tongue.
- Keep it varied by changing pace, pressure, and technique.
- Respond to your partner’s cues and body language.
- Incorporate your hands by caressing their face, neck, arms, etc.
- Aim for passionate but not overly forceful or sloppy.
- Brush your teeth, drink water, and use chapstick for kissable lips.
- Focus on the overall experience, not just what you’re doing.
- Time your kissing breaks so neither of you feel smothered.
- Have fun and enjoy this intimate time with your partner.
Dealing with kissing anxiety
Some people develop nerves about kissing that can get in the way of their enjoyment and intimacy. Here are some ways to get over kissing anxiety:
- Talk honestly with your partner about your feelings.
- Start slow without expectations or time pressure.
- Remember that the right partner won’t judge you for being anxious.
- Focus on the sensations instead of your thoughts.
- Stop overthinking – relax and let yourself feel.
- Realize mistakes are no big deal.
- Don’t be afraid to take a break if needed.
- Practice building comfort kissing this person.
- Seek help from a therapist for extreme relationship anxiety.
How to talk to your partner about kissing preferences
Open communication is key to making sure you and your partner both enjoy kissing and making out. Here’s how to discuss preferences:
- Bring it up when you’re not already kissing so it’s less awkward.
- Frame it positively – “I really like x but prefer less y.”
- Ask what they like or don’t like to get their perspective too.
- Suggest trying some new things to see if you both enjoy.
- If tongue use comes up, be honest if you like it or not.
- Emphasize wanting to figure out what works for you both.
- Check in occasionally as you get to know each other’s preferences.
- Create a safe space to give and receive feedback.
Making out positions
In addition to what you do with your tongue, different making out positions allow for more or less intimacy and sensation. Here are some to try:
| Position | Intimacy Level | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Sitting side by side | Low | Sit close facing the same direction, turn your head to kiss. |
| Facing each other sitting | Medium | Sit across from each other, lean in to kiss with your bodies pressed together. |
| Standing | Medium | Stand facing each other, pull your partner close to kiss. |
| Sitting on lap | High | Straddle your partner as they sit, kiss while pressed chest to chest. |
| Lying down | High | Lay down facing each other, have the full length of your bodies in contact. |
Making out mistakes to avoid
While kissing skills improve with experience, some common mistakes can be easily avoided:
- Don’t use too much tongue right away before building up to it.
- Avoid excess saliva – swallow periodically and pull back to close mouths if needed.
- Don’t kiss too hard by mashing your faces together uncomfortably.
- Don’t let your mind wander and get distracted from the moment.
- Avoid random tense tongue thrusting with no rhythm.
- Don’t neglect lip kissing in favor of only tongue kissing.
- Don’t overlook other forms of intimacy like touching, verbal affirmation, eye contact.
- Forget about checking your breath – always kiss with fresh hygiene.
- Don’t assume your partner likes what you’re doing without checking in.
- Never force kissing or tongue use if your partner isn’t interested.
Making out safely during COVID-19
The COVID-19 pandemic requires some modifications to make kissing safer. Here are tips for making out with reduced coronavirus risk:
- Only kiss people in your small social bubble, avoid multiple partners.
- Get tested if you have any symptoms or exposure before physical contact.
- Isolate 14 days first if you or your partner have been traveling.
- Meet outdoors instead of indoors when possible.
- Wear masks up until the point of kissing.
- Avoid face-to-face hovering, turn heads to kiss instead.
- Limit French kissing in favor of kisses with closed mouths.
- Consider taking preventive doses of zinc, vitamin C, vitamin D.
- Stay home from work or school if feeling at all ill.
Conclusion
Figuring out what to do with your tongue when making out takes some experimentation and practice. The keys are gauging your partner’s enjoyment, establishing open communication, and aiming for passionate romance over sloppy intensity. Paying attention to hygiene, technique and positioning can also elevate your kissing abilities. While COVID-19 calls for some extra precautions, kissing remains a wonderful way to be close with the right partner.