There are a few terms that can describe someone who takes advantage of or uses others for their own benefit without regard for the impact on the other person. Here are some possibilities and their meanings:
User
A “user” is someone who exploits others for personal gain. They view people as objects or resources to exploit rather than human beings with their own needs and feelings. Users only care about what they can get out of a relationship, not what they can contribute.
Manipulator
A “manipulator” skillfully maneuvers situations and people to serve their own purposes. They are adept at getting others to do what they want through deceptive, exploitative, or abusive tactics. Manipulators use charm, flattery, guilt trips, threats, or emotional abuse to control others.
Narcissist
A “narcissist” has an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy. They feel entitled to special treatment and admiration. Narcissists use and exploit others to validate their grandiose self-image. They may charm at first but ultimately make the relationship all about themselves.
Opportunist
An “opportunist” seizes chances to gain advantage over others, often unethically. They look for situations where someone’s trust or resources can be exploited for personal profit or status gain. Opportunists are self-serving and lack integrity.
Psychopath/Sociopath
A “psychopath” or “sociopath” has little remorse, empathy or regard for others. They frequently manipulate, use, and exploit people through charm, intimidation, or violence. Such individuals may repeatedly break the law, tell lies, or harm others without guilt or conscience.
Moocher
A “moocher” habitually takes advantage of others for favors, food, shelter, money, etc. without offering anything in return. They feel entitled to what others have without earning it. Moochers will exploit kindhearted people who have difficulty saying no.
Freeloader
A “freeloader” enjoys getting benefits, resources, or advantages from others without paying or working for them. Freeloaders want a “free ride” and think rules shouldn’t apply to them. They impose on others while contributing nothing.
Sycophant
A “sycophant” flatters and compliments powerful people to gain advantage. They serve and support influencers in exchange for resources and position. Sycophants may betray principles or demean themselves to please their “patrons.”
Predator
A “predator” views others as prey to be exploited, deceived, or even harmed for thrills or gain. Predators deliberately pursue targets they see as vulnerable using manipulative, abusive, or criminal methods.
Parasite
A “parasite” lives off of others without contributing anything. Like biological parasites, they siphon resources, energy, time, or money from people they attach themselves to. Parasites take what they need while weakening their hosts.
Scam Artist
A “scam artist” runs elaborate schemes to defraud people and exploit human vulnerabilities like greed, fear, or gullibility. They deceive victims for financial gain through methods like get-rich-quick scams, romance fraud, or Ponzi schemes.
Gold Digger
A “gold digger” forms relationships with those who have wealth, status, or power to gain access to resources and position. Gold diggers trade intimacy for luxury, leveraging their charm on rich “sugar daddies” or “sugar mommas.”
In Conclusion
While the terms differ, they all describe someone who takes selfish advantage of others with little regard for their well-being. The common thread is a lack of empathy and a willingness to use, manipulate, or exploit people for personal gain. Establishing healthy boundaries and being wary of those exhibiting signs of exploitation are key to avoiding such toxic relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is using people always a bad thing?
In most cases, yes – deliberately using other people for personal gain or benefit, without their consent and to their detriment, is unethical. However, some relationships have an understood transactional or reciprocal nature, like business partnerships or political alliances, where both parties understand they are using one another to some degree and mutually benefit. The key distinction is consent, transparency and a balance of give-and-take.
Can someone use you without realizing it?
Yes, sometimes people use others unconsciously or unintentionally because they lack self-awareness or empathy. They may take more than they give in relationships without understanding the emotional cost to others. Addressing it openly and setting boundaries can help mitigate unintentional using in healthy relationships.
What are signs someone is using you?
Signs may include:
- They are only interested when they need something
- Your interactions revolve around their needs and problems
- They take far more than they give in the relationship
- You feel drained after spending time together
- They often cancel plans or break promises
- They exploit your goodwill, resources, time, skills, or empathy
How can you avoid being used by others?
Tips to avoid being used:
- Listen to your intuition – if someone seems self-serving, they likely are
- Watch for patterns of broken commitments or one-sided interactions
- Don’t fall for flattery or charm from someone you just met
- Avoid giving too much too soon in new relationships
- Set healthy boundaries and stick to them
- Speak up when you notice your needs aren’t being met
- Be wary of new “friends” who ask for frequent favors
What do you do when you realize someone is using you?
If you realize you’re being used:
- Confront them directly and tell them how you feel
- Establish clear boundaries for the future
- Reevaluate the relationship and consider cutting ties
- Get support from trusted friends and family
- Reflect on the situation to avoid repeat patterns
- Prioritize your self-care and well-being
- Know that their behavior reflects on them, not you