What do you call a manipulative liar?

A manipulative liar is someone who intentionally twists the truth or omits key details in order to deceive, control, exploit or otherwise gain an advantage over others. This type of dishonesty and deception is often driven by underlying personality traits and behaviors. So what exactly do you call someone who uses lies and mind games to get what they want?

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The Different Types of Manipulative Liars

There are a few different terms that can be used to describe a manipulative liar:

Compulsive liar – Someone who lies out of habit, often about minor or irrelevant matters. They may not always have a clear purpose behind the lie.
Pathological liar – Someone who consistently lies for no clear reason. They may actually believe some of their own lies. Pathological lying may be a symptom of an underlying mental disorder.
Narcissistic liar – Someone with narcissistic personality traits who lies and manipulates to feed their ego, get attention, or make themselves look better than others.

Gaslighter – Someone who intentionally manipulates and distorts the truth in order to sow self-doubt and confusion in their target. Their goal is to gain power and control.
Sociopathic liar – A sociopath or person with antisocial personality disorder who habitually lies and manipulates others for their own gain. They have little remorse for their actions.

While the motivations may vary, what these types have in common is a willingness to lie, mislead, exaggerate, omit key details and play mind games in order to serve their own selfish interests.

Signs of a Manipulative Liar

It’s not always easy to spot a manipulative liar right away. However, there are some common signs and behaviors to look out for:

They lie or omit information frequently and with ease.
They avoid answering questions directly. Their explanations may be vague or evasive.

They become defensive or reactive when confronted about inconsistencies in their story.
They redirect conversations and questions back to you.
They have a habit of blaming others or playing the victim.

They try to sow seeds of doubt about other people’s motives and truthfulness.
They constantly flatter, praise or offer excessive sympathy, which often comes across as insincere.
They have a pattern of using people for their own gain.

In many cases, the lies and manipulation tend to become more obvious over time. The longer you know someone, the more their words and actions will reveal their true nature.

Why Do Some People Become Manipulative Liars?

There are a variety of possible reasons why someone may develop patterns of manipulative lying:

Underlying personality disorders – Pathological lying can be a symptom of disorders like narcissistic, antisocial or borderline personality disorder.

Trauma or abuse – Growing up around manipulation or abuse may normalize this behavior.
Habit – Lying can become a default reaction or compulsion for some people.
Environment – Being surrounded by a culture of deceit can reinforce manipulative behaviors.

Upbringing – Strict, authoritarian or abusive caretakers may drive children to hide truth and lie to avoid punishment.
Self-gain – Lying may be an easy way for some people to get what they want out of life.

Whatever the root cause, manipulative lying can become a destructive pattern for the liar and those around them. The lies often spiral as they try to keep their deceptions from unraveling.

The Potential Impact of Chronic Manipulative Lying

Being the frequent target of lies, gaslighting and manipulation can negatively impact someone in a number of ways:

It can lead to emotional distress, anxiety and depression.
It can cause you to doubt your own instincts, perceptions and sanity.

It can isolate you from other people if the liar spins stories designed to turn others against you.
It can undermine your self-confidence and self-esteem.
It can keep you trapped in a toxic relationship dynamic that is difficult to break free from.

Chronic manipulative lying creates an environment of distrust and fear that can quickly become emotionally abusive. The liar essentially robs their victim of the reality-based foundation necessary for healthy relationships.

How to Cope with and Respond to a Manipulative Liar

If you suspect someone close to you is a pathological liar, there are some ways you can cope with the situation and reclaim your own sense of reality:

Pay attention to your instincts. Don’t ignore inner warning signs that something is off, even if you can’t pinpoint exactly why.

Don’t confront them directly – this rarely works. Pathological liars will just deny and lie more.
Fact check information they give you to look for inconsistencies.
Limit your dependence on them for factual accounts of events.

Consult friends or loved ones to get a reality check.
Limit time with them if possible to reduce their ability to manipulate your perspective.
Know your dealbreakers and stick to them. Be prepared to end toxic relationships.

You can also respond to manipulative lying in a way that makes clear it will not be tolerated:

Calmly call them out on provable lies and inconsistencies without getting pulled into a big argument.
Set clear boundaries about what behavior you will not accept.

Ask direct questions and insist on direct answers.
End conversations that go nowhere.
Pick your battles – argue facts rather than trying to change their nature.

Protect yourself, your emotions and your mental health above all else.

When to Get Outside Help

In some circumstances, manipulative lying can cross the line into psychological abuse. If you are experiencing:

Extreme gaslighting and distortion of reality

Verbal, emotional or physical abuse
Stalking or harassment
Financial abuse or exploitation

It may be necessary to get help from counseling professionals, domestic abuse resources or law enforcement. You do not have to manage this situation alone.

The Bottom Line

Dealing with a manipulative liar can be disorienting and profoundly damaging over time. But understanding the common tactics they use can help you protect yourself and see the reality of the situation more clearly. With knowledge of their behavior patterns, a commitment to the truth, trust in your own judgment and healthy boundaries, you can limit the liar’s power over you.

While getting caught up in the web of lies can feel like going crazy at times, try to remember – you are not the one who is sick. There is no reason to internalize blame or shame about someone else’s pathological behavior. With self-care and the right support, you can regain control and advocating for your own best interests.