Backbiting is the act of speaking negatively about someone who is absent. It goes against several biblical principles and is considered a sin. The Bible has much to say about gossip, slander, and speaking ill of others. As Christians, we are called to build others up with our words and avoid destructive speech. In this article, we will explore what the Bible teaches about backbiting and how we can avoid it.
What is Backbiting?
Backbiting involves speaking critically about someone who is not present. It is also known as slander or defamation. Backbiting differs from gossip in that gossip can be neutral or even positive, while backbiting always has a negative connotation.
Here are some key things to understand about backbiting:
- It is done behind someone’s back when they are not there to defend themselves.
- The intention is to unjustly damage the absent person’s reputation.
- The motivation is often to make oneself look better by comparison.
- It spreads rumors and confidential information that should not be shared.
- The stories told are frequently exaggerated or only present one biased side.
Overall, backbiting involves speaking about another person in their absence in a way that is unkind, untruthful, unfair, or unlikely to be spoken if they were present. It aims to hurt their good standing and relationships.
Bible Verses About Backbiting
The Bible contains many verses that address backbiting and make it clear that God condemns this behavior. Here are some of the key passages:
Proverbs 25:23
“The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.”
This verse compares a backbiting tongue to a blustery, damaging wind. Both bring turmoil and strife. The sharpness of a backbiting tongue can be like a cold, bitter wind.
Psalm 15:1-3
“Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others.”
This psalm says that those who live in right relationship with God do not slander or cast slurs on others. Backbiting is inconsistent with righteous living.
Proverbs 26:20
“Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.”
Gossip and backbiting fuel conflict. Cutting off such destructive speech is key to resolving disagreements.
2 Corinthians 12:20
“For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”
Here Paul identifies backbiting behaviors like slander and gossip as works of the flesh – sinful tendencies that lead to disunity and conflict.
Romans 1:29-30
“They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil.”
In this verse, gossip and slander are tied to many other grievous sins. Backbiting is a result of a heart turned towards evil and away from God.
Proverbs 16:28
“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”
Those who backbite drive people apart. Friendships fracture when gossip and slander enter in.
James 4:11
“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.”
Here we are cautioned not just against backbiting but also judging others. James makes it clear that slander and judgment are transgressions of God’s law.
Ephesians 4:31
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”
This verse instructs us to actively rid our lives of slander and behaviors that tear others down. As Christians we are called to build each other up with our words.
Proverbs 11:13
“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”
Backbiting often involves breaking confidences and sharing private information that should remain secret. It is a betrayal of trust.
Why is Backbiting a Sin?
Given these and other verses, it is clear that backbiting goes against God’s standards. But why exactly is speaking negatively about someone such a serious offense? Here are some key reasons:
It is slander and lying
Backbiting almost always involves exaggeration, false accusations, or passing on half-truths. Even if kernel of truth exists, the stories are told in a slanted way. It is sinful to spread lies and malign someone’s reputation.
It causes disunity and strife
Backbiting breeds infighting, divisions, and resentment. It drives people apart rather than bringing them together. God calls Christians to unity and reconciliation.
It hurts people
Bullying, verbal abuse, and talking behind people’s backs causes real emotional damage. Christians are supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down.
It judges unfairly
Backbiting is often very one-sided, without full context. We are called to judge righteously and fairly, not play judge while hearing only biased opinions.
It sows seeds of distrust
Gossip and backbiting ruin reputations and relationships. It destroys trust among friends, family members, and church communities.
It often stems from sinful desires like jealousy, anger, and selfishness
Common motivations for backbiting include wanting to make oneself look good, jealousy, a desire for power, arrogance, anger, bitterness, and discord. These are sinful desires and attitudes of the heart.
It distracts from God’s kingdom
The tongue has great power, and we are to use our words to build up God’s kingdom. Backbiting redirects our focus towards petty disputes versus eternal purposes.
Examples of Backbiting in the Bible
The Bible contains many stories that illustrate the poisonous effects of gossip, slander, and backbiting. Learning from these examples helps us recognize and avoid backbiting behaviors:
Joseph’s brothers
Driven by envy and jealousy, Joseph’s brothers spread lies that he had died and spoke badly of him to their father. This fractured the family and led Joseph into slavery in Egypt for many years (Genesis 37).
Korah’s rebellion
Korah led a rebellion against the leadership of Moses and Aaron, gathering others through slander and backbiting (Numbers 16). His words bred discontent that ended in divine judgement.
Haman’s plot
Haman nearly committed genocide against the Jews by spreading lies about them to King Ahasuerus. His slanderous whisper campaign sprang from his personal jealousy of Mordecai (Esther 3).
Diotrephes
Diotrephes used malicious words to drive away believers from a local church and stir up opposition to the Apostle John and other church leaders (3 John 1:9-10).
James on the tongue
James 3 describes vividly how small the tongue is, and yet how much damage it can do. An unchecked tongue is a “whole world of wickedness” that can poison the whole body (James 3:5-6).
Paul and the Corinthians
Paul had to rebuke the Corinthian church for slander and backbiting against each other that was dragging some before secular courts. This revealed their worldliness (1 Cor 5-6).
How to Confront Backbiting
When we witness backbiting behaviors among fellow Christians, we have a responsibility to intervene. Stopping slander and gossip from spreading further limits the damage. Here are some tips for confronting backbiting in a godly way when it occurs:
Redirect the conversation
Change the subject or interject positive comments about the person being targeted. This stops the negativity from building.
Tell them to stop
Respectfully but firmly tell them you feel the conversation has crossed into gossip or slander and you are uncomfortable continuing.
Remind them of the golden rule
Ask them if they would want people talking that way behind their back. Remind them to treat others as they want to be treated.
Be accountable
If it’s someone close like a family member or friend, tell them you want to hold each other accountable to avoid gossip and slander in the future.
Suggest talking directly to the person involved
Propose that the best resolution is to talk directly with the person they have complaints about, not gossip behind their back.
Intervene if it gets abusive
If an ongoing pattern of bullying or abuse exists, get help to mediate the situation and protect the victim.
Set boundaries
Make it clear you won’t participate or listen if slander persists. Follow through and walk away if needed.
How to Avoid Backbiting
Of course, the best solution is preventing backbiting in the first place. It is far better not to get entangled in slander than to untangle afterwards. Here are some proactive ways we can avoid the sin of backbiting:
Pray for those who upset you
Ask God to change your heart and give you compassion. It’s harder to slander those we pray for.
Focus on thankfulness
Dwell on what you appreciate about the person. Gratitude drives out negative feelings.
Speak to people directly
Work out grievances respectfully with them, not behind their back. Follow the Matthew 18 principle.
Avoid participating
Refuse to listen to gossip and slander. Walk away or change the topic to something uplifting.
Watch your own tongue
Be slow to speak ill of anyone. Frequently check your own motivations.
Think before you speak
Consider if what you want to share is kind, necessary, and productive. If not, refrain from speaking it.
Surround yourself with positive speech
Join a group of uplifting friends who avoid gossip. Do not enable backbiting behaviors.
Conclusion
Backbiting is clearly identified throughout the Bible as a serious sin that violates multiple Godly principles. Scripture instructs us to speak words that build up and to silence anything that tears down. While avoiding slander and gossip requires constant vigilance over our tongues, the rewards are great. Right speech helps create an atmosphere of love and unity. By turning from backbiting behaviors, we can nurture healthy relationships that honor God.