Flirting is a complex social behavior that allows people to express romantic or sexual interest in potential partners. For many adolescent boys, learning how to flirt with girls can be an exciting yet daunting task. While flirting styles vary between individuals, there are some common flirting techniques and behaviors that boys often employ when trying to get a girl’s attention or show that they like her.
Use of Body Language
Non-verbal communication is a major way that boys flirt. Since openly talking about romance can be embarrassing for teens, body language allows boys to subtly communicate their feelings and gauge if there is mutual interest. Some flirtatious gestures boys use include:
- Maintaining eye contact – Looking directly into a girl’s eyes and holding her gaze for a few seconds longer than normal.
- Smiling – Flashing her a lot of smiles to appear friendly and approachable.
- Standing or sitting close – Subtly getting nearer to her personal space to hint at intimacy.
- Turning his body toward her – Angling his shoulders or knees to point in her direction.
- Displaying open posture – Keeping arms and legs uncrossed to seem more accessible.
- Touching her arm, shoulder, back or leg – Using brief, gentle touches to create a sense of physical closeness.
- Fixing his appearance – Smoothing his hair or clothes to look polished and attractive around her.
Boys are likely to combine several of these flirty body language signals to convey a complete message of romantic interest. The precise mixture and intensity of gestures depends on the boy’s confidence, personality and reading of the situation.
Conversation Style
How a boy talks to a girl he’s flirting with also reveals his attraction. Common flirtatious verbal behaviors include:
- Asking questions – Showing interest by asking her lots of questions about herself.
- Bringing up intimate topics – Having more personal, deep conversations to create a sense of closeness.
- Cracking jokes – Displaying his wit and making her laugh to impress her and lighten the mood.
- Compliments – Praising her appearance, talents or personality to express his admiration.
- Remembering details – Referencing little facts she’s revealed previously to prove he was listening and cares.
- Lowering vocal pitch – Speaking in a deeper, slower voice to sound mature and alluring.
- Mirroring her expressions – Adopting her speech patterns, keywords and body language to build rapport.
Boys also tend to ask flirty questions like “What’s your relationship status?” “Do you have plans this weekend?” or say statements such as “You have really nice eyes” as direct ways to show they are interested in dating a girl.
Proximity Seeking
Another major category of flirting behavior for boys is finding excuses to be physically near the girl they like. Tactics boys use to casually decrease distance include:
- Sitting or standing next to her whenever possible.
- “Accidentally” bumping into her or brushing arms.
- Leaning close when looking at something together.
- Finding reasons to put his arm around her, such as pointing something out.
- Volunteering to be her partner for activities or assignments.
- Inviting her to sit together at lunch or study sessions.
- Arranging “coincidental” meetups before or after school.
Getting closer both literally and figuratively helps a boy and girl become more comfortable with physical and emotional intimacy as they flirt.
Flattering Courtship Behaviors
Some flirting techniques boys employ are focused on actively impressing the girl and winning her affection. These courtship rituals can include:
- Dressing nicely and grooming when he knows he’ll see her.
- Bringing her small gifts like candy or trinkets.
- Offering help with schoolwork or other favors.
- Expressing concern for her well-being.
- Displaying his talents or accomplishments to impress her.
- Acting politely to her friends to win their approval.
- Being chivalrous by holding doors, giving his jacket if she’s cold, etc.
- Calling or messaging her frequently.
These considerate, praising behaviors indicate an adolescent boy is invested in winning over a particular girl.
Signs of Nervousness
Despite their best efforts, teenage boys often feel anxious when trying to flirt. Their nerves can manifest through:
- Fidgeting, foot tapping or restless hand motions.
- Speech fillers like “um” and “uh.”
- Stumbling over words or mumbling.
- Quickly looking away if she catches him staring.
- Blushing or sweating in her presence.
- Acting overly boastful or loud to compensate.
- Getting tongue-tied and unable to speak.
These signals of shyness actually convey an authentic sense of just how much he likes the girl. His eagerness overrides his awkwardness and inexperience as he tries communicating his feelings.
Teasing and Playful Banter
Many boys gently poke fun at the girl they have a crush on. This light teasing accomplishes flirting goals like making her laugh, getting a reaction and playfully testing her interest. Teasing lines boys might use include:
- “Were you this quiet before I got here or are you just speechless in my presence?”
- “I like your new haircut…said no one ever.”
- “How did you get to be so smart? Did you hack the school computers or something?”
- “Sorry, I didn’t get any of what you just said. I was distracted by how cool your shoes are.”
Boys will often tease the girl again after she teases them back to keep the fun, flirty dynamic going. Both parties understand the mock insults are not serious and are intended affectionately.
Recruiting Friends
Boys employ wingmen to help get the girl’s attention. Tactics friends use include:
- Introducing the two and getting conversations started between them.
- Bringing up the boy’s positive qualities when he’s not around.
- Convincing the boy to show off talents like sports skills, music or humor when she’s watching.
- Hyping up the boy’s appearance or social status.
- Arranging activities where they can interact in a group setting.
- Getting insights into who she likes or if she may be interested in him.
Having a supportive friend crew bolsters a boy’s confidence to interact with his crush. It also gives him a second opinion on whether she might like him back.
Reacting to Her Cues
Boys have to pay close attention to how the girl responds as they flirt. Signs she may return his interest include:
- Maintaining eye contact and smiling back at him.
- Standing or sitting closer to him.
- Touching his arm, shoulder or leg during interactions.
- Asking him personal questions and listening with interest.
- Finding excuses to be near him or talk to him.
- Laughing at his jokes and engaging in playful banter.
- Appearing happy, shy or blushing in his presence.
- Complimenting his appearance, talents or personality.
Noticing and responding to these types of clues with corresponding signals of his own gives the flirtation momentum. If her reactions indicate disinterest, however, boys usually retreat and redirect their romantic efforts elsewhere.
Using Technology to Flirt
Modern technology opens up new channels that teens use to flirt, especially when they are too shy to interact as boldly face-to-face. Ways boys might use media to communicate romantic interest include:
- Texting her frequently using flirty emojis.
- Messaging her late at night or at opportune moments.
- Commenting playfully on her social media posts.
- Liking and reacting to all her posts to show he’s paying attention.
- Tagging her in memes or videos he thinks she’ll find funny.
- Sharing information about his life via social media to keep her interested.
- Following her online activity and changing his own content accordingly.
Technology allows teens to safely test the waters and exchange mutual signs of flirting from a comfortable distance. It also creates a dynamic written record of their interactions.
Risk and Rejection
For all their bravado, boys exposing their romantic interest by flirting with a girl still face risks like embarrassment or damaging their self-esteem if she rejects them. Fear of rejection causes some boys to:
- Feel too intimidated to flirt with girls at all.
- Hide their feelings and never make a move.
- Only flirt minimally or while drunk to preserve ego.
- Quit immediately if she seems unreceptive.
- Get jealous and insult the girl to cope with rejection.
- Brag they were never actually interested to save face.
Boys may also flirt aggressively to shield against rejection, either by coming on too strong physically or making lewd jokes to test a girl’s boundaries. However, respecting signs of disinterest and disengaging gracefully is key to maturing flirting abilities.
Conclusion
Flirting encompasses a wide spectrum of behaviors adolescent boys use to convey romantic interest. These range from subtle body language cues to overt courtship displays. While flirting mechanisms vary between individual boys based on personality and circumstances, their core purpose is communicating attraction. As boys learn to flirt responsibly and read reactions, they gain confidence expressing their emotions and building relationships with girls.