Losing a parent is one of the most difficult experiences anyone can go through. When your mother passes away, it leaves a profound emptiness, and grieving her loss is a long process. An important part of grieving is honoring her memory and commemorating her life. One way to do this is by being thoughtful about what you wear, especially at the funeral and other memorial events. Certain colors and styles are traditional for mourning family members to wear. Understanding the meaning behind mourning colors can bring comfort and pay respect to your late mother.
Traditional Mourning Colors
Throughout history and across cultures, certain colors have held symbolic meaning in times of grief and mourning. Here are some of the most common mourning colors and their significance:
Black
Black is the most traditional color of mourning in Western cultures. It represents the darkness and emptiness left by the loss. It also shows solemnity and formality in grieving your mother. At a minimum, those mourning will wear a black armband or ribbon. But many mourners wear entirely black outfits.
| Culture | Black Mourning Traditions |
|---|---|
| Victorian era | Widows wore black for 1-2 years to signify devotion to deceased husband |
| Italy | Widows wear black for 8 days after husband’s death |
| Thailand | Children wear black for 100 days after parent’s death |
White
White has been a mourning color in many Eastern cultures. It signifies purity, innocence, and release from the pain of life. Brides often wear white to funerals in these cultures. White flowers are also common at funerals.
Purple
Purple represents grief and mourning in some cultures. In Thai culture, children wear purple when a parent dies. Purple may also be worn at Catholic funerals. It signals sorrow as well as faith in resurrection.
Blue
Blue is a calm, peaceful color that sometimes represents mourning. Different shades of blue convey sympathy and honor in Persian and Turkish cultures. Light blue may be worn at Jewish funerals.
Pink
Pink is a lighter mourning color for children or young people who have died. The soft shade shows tenderness for someone gone too soon.
Red
Bright red is often considered inappropriate for mourning in Western culture. But in traditional Chinese culture, red is a color of celebration. So wearing red at a Chinese funeral expresses wishes for happiness in the afterlife.
Yellow
Yellow is another color that represents celebration of the deceased’s life in Chinese culture. Yellow chrysanthemums are funeral flowers. But yellow is a mourning color taboo in some regions such as Mexico.
Modern Mourning Attire
While traditional mourning colors still appear at funerals, formal black attire is no longer necessarily expected today. Instead, more casual and everyday clothing in darker tones is common. Here are some modern guidelines for dressing respectfully:
- Opt for darker neutral colors – black, gray, dark blue, forest green.
- Choose plain, solid colors rather than prints and patterns.
- Avoid shorts, short skirts, and low-cut necklines.
- Don’t wear flashy jewelry.
- Wear comfortable shoes as you may stand a lot.
Ultimately, it’s most important to wear something you feel comfortable and appropriate in while honoring your mother. Ask other family members for guidance if you are unsure.
Colors to Wear for Specific Relatives
Some cultures have traditions for which mourning colors to wear for the death of specific family members:
Mother
Many cultures dictate wearing black when mourning a mother’s death. In Chinese culture, unmarried daughters also wear green, which represents longing for the deceased.
| Culture | Color |
|---|---|
| Western | Black |
| Mexican | Red or purple |
| Nigerian | Lilac |
| Indian Hindu | White |
Father
Many of the same traditional colors worn when mourning a mother apply for grieving for a deceased father. Sons may also wear a black necktie or armband.
Spouse
A widow or widower often wears basic black or white clothing while mourning a spouse’s death. Some cultures have traditions like wearing wedding colors or green.
Child
Losing a child is devastating. Pink, purple, or other soft colors are recommended when dressing for a child’s funeral.
Colors to Avoid
Some colors are considered disrespectful or taboo when worn to a funeral. Here are some colors not to wear:
- Red – Associations with romance, passion, anger, danger.
- Yellow – Appears cheerful, distracting.
- Bright blue – Too showy next to somber mourning colors.
- Multicolored prints – Seem celebratory and casual.
- Neon/fluorescent colors – Garish and attention-seeking.
Stick to muted, dark solids to demonstrate respect. Use color thoughtfully and sparingly.
Conclusion
Color choice is an important part of funeral etiquette. Dark solids like black, gray, and navy are always a safe choice. Look to cultural traditions for wearing colors specifically associated with mourning a mother or other relative’s death. Avoid brights, prints, and revealing styles. Most importantly, select colors you feel good in while commemorating a profound loss. What you wear can meaningfully represent your grief and love for your deceased mother.