Fear is a natural and important part of childhood development. As kids grow and learn about the world around them, it’s common for them to encounter things that make them feel uneasy or afraid. While some fears are specific to certain ages and stages of development, there are some common themes that tend to provoke fear in kids of all ages. Understanding what scares kids can help parents and caregivers address these fears in a supportive way.
Fears in Infants and Toddlers
Babies and young toddlers experience fears related to separation from their parents or caregivers. Around 6-8 months of age, infants may become wary of strangers and experience stranger anxiety. They recognize their parents and other familiar faces, and new people can provoke uncertainty and fear. Separation anxiety peaks around 1-2 years old, when toddlers become very distressed when a parent leaves. Loud noises, animals, and costumed characters can also provoke fear in infants and toddlers. At this young age, fear is instinctive and helps protect helpless babies from potential threats in their environment.
Common Toddler Fears
- Separation from parents
- Strangers
- Loud noises
- Animals
- Costumed characters
Preschool Age Fears (3-5 years old)
As preschoolers become more independent and imaginative, they may start to fear things like the dark, monsters, ghosts, and fictional villains from movies or books. Preschoolers have a harder time differentiating fantasy from reality, so scary imagery and characters can take on a real sense of threat. Their dreams also become more vivid which can lead to nightmares. It’s common for preschoolers to fear things that pose a realistic danger like animals, natural disasters, injury, doctors, or the emergency room. Fears related to the unknown, like what happens after death or what lurks at the bottom of a swimming pool, are also prevalent.
Common Preschool Fears
- The dark
- Monsters
- Scary imagery and characters
- Nightmares
- Animals
- Natural disasters
- Injury
- Doctors/emergency room
- The unknown (death, what’s at the bottom of a pool, etc)
| Age | Common Fears |
|---|---|
| Infants & Toddlers | Separation from parents, strangers, loud noises, animals, costumed characters |
| Preschoolers (3-5 years) | The dark, monsters, scary characters, nightmares, animals, natural disasters, injury, doctors/emergency room, the unknown |
Big Kid Fears (6-10 years old)
As kids enter elementary school, their thinking becomes more realistic and logical. Fears tend to revolve around school performance, social dynamics with peers, and sports or extracurricular activities. Kids may worry about academic failure, not having friends, getting made fun of, or being embarrassed in front of classmates. Older elementary school kids start to understand more complex social dynamics like bullying, peer pressure, and exclusion. At this age, kids also develop a greater awareness of danger in the world from threats like war, crime, disease, or terrorism. Big kids still use their imaginations actively so many retain some fear of monsters, ghosts, or supernatural events.
Common Big Kid Fears
- Academic failure
- Social rejection/embarrassment
- Being bullied
- Peer pressure
- World dangers (war, crime, disease, terrorism)
- Monsters, ghosts, supernatural events
Pre-Teen and Teen Fears (11-18 years old)
As puberty approaches, fears tend to become more abstract and complex. Pre-teens and teens start to think more about identity, relationships, social standing, and appearance. They may worry about things like body image, dating and romance, sexuality, fitting in, and figuring out who they are. Peers take on greater importance, so fears of embarrassment, exclusion, or rejection are common. Teens also gain awareness of more adult issues like substance abuse, pregnancy, and serious illnesses. Greater access to world information through technology means teens may worry about war, political issues, climate change, and other large scale issues. Individual personality, life experiences and mental health issues can also impact teen fears.
Common Pre-Teen and Teen Fears
- Body image
- Dating/romance
- Sexuality
- Identity/sense of self
- Rejection from peers
- Serious illness
- Pregnancy
- Drugs/alcohol
- War, politics, climate change
| Age Range | Common Fears |
|---|---|
| 6-10 years old | Academic failure, social rejection/embarrassment, bullying, peer pressure, world dangers, monsters/ghosts |
| 11-18 years old | Body image, dating/romance, sexuality, identity, rejection from peers, serious illness, pregnancy, drugs/alcohol, war/politics/climate change |
How Fears Impact Children
It’s normal for fears to come and go as children grow and their thinking and understanding of the world develops. But fears that persist at high levels can negatively impact kids in several ways:
- Sleep issues – Fears and worries can make it hard for kids to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night. Lack of sleep affects mood, attention and school performance.
- Avoidance – To cope with fear, kids may try to avoid the things that provoke anxiety. But avoidance prevents them from learning to manage fears.
- Physical symptoms – Fear and anxiety manifest physically in symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, rapid heart rate, and shaking.
- Poor concentration – Worries compete for kids’ attention and make it hard to focus at school or other activities.
- Withdrawal – Some kids cope with fears by just withdrawing from activities and social situations.
If fears seem to be interfering with a child’s sleep, school work, social life or just general well-being, it’s worth consulting with a pediatrician or mental health professional.
Helping Kids Cope with Fears
As a parent or caregiver, you play an important role in helping kids face fears in a supportive and healthy way. Here are some tips:
- Remain calm and be understanding – don’t dismiss or make fun of kids’ fears.
- Ask questions to understand the fear better.
- Provide context and realistic perspective.
- Come up with a joint plan to gradually face fears.
- Be a role model by facing your own fears.
- Praise success and celebrate small steps.
- Limit exposure to frightening media.
- Try relaxation techniques before bedtime.
- Stick to comforting bedtime routines.
- Get professional help for excessive fears/anxiety.
When to Seek Professional Help
It’s normal for fears to come and go, but seek help from a doctor or mental health professional if:
- Fears last 6 months or longer.
- Fears interfere with sleep, school, social life.
- Physical symptoms accompany fear.
- Fears cause persistent avoidance.
- Fears cause severe distress.
Conclusion
Fear and anxiety are a normal part of growing up. The type of fears kids experience changes as they develop greater thinking skills and learn about the world around them. While most common childhood fears are harmless, excessive or persistent fears can negatively impact kids. Parents and caregivers play an important role in helping kids acknowledge fears and guiding them to face fears in a healthy way. With time, understanding and support, kids can learn to manage fears and anxieties successfully.