Toilet training can be challenging for many parents, especially parents of children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Autistic children often take longer to be fully toilet trained compared to neurotypical children. This is due to difficulties with communication, sensory issues, and rigidity surrounding routines that often accompany ASD.
When do typical children start using the toilet?
Most neurotypical children show signs of readiness for toilet training between ages 18-24 months. However, some children may be ready a few months earlier or later. Signs a neurotypical toddler is ready to start toilet training include:
- Staying dry for 2 or more hours at a time during the day
- Having regular, predictable bowel movements
- Showing interest in the toilet
- Indicating a need to go through words, facial expressions, or body language
- Able to follow simple instructions
- Able to pull pants up and down
The process of toilet training takes about 3-6 months on average for neurotypical children. But every child is different, so try not to compare your child’s progress to others.
When do autistic children start using the toilet?
For children with ASD, the age they begin using the toilet successfully can vary greatly. Some autistic children may be ready around the same time as neurotypical children. But many autistic kids start the process later, between ages 2-4.
Autistic children may show the following differences when it comes to toilet training readiness skills:
- Take longer to stay dry during the day
- Have irregular bowel movements
- Show less interest in using the toilet
- Have difficulty communicating the need to go
- Have trouble following instructions
- Struggle with motor skills like removing clothing
- Have strong preferences for diapers or pull-ups
These differences are all common and do not mean your child is not ready or will have difficulties being toilet trained. But it does usually indicate toilet training will take more time, consistency, and patience.
Toilet training challenges for autistic children
There are some key reasons why autistic children tend to toilet train later than their peers:
- Communication difficulties – Many autistic kids have trouble expressing their needs verbally or nonverbally. This makes it harder for them to indicate when they need to use the toilet.
- Rigidity and routine – Autistic children often rely on routines and consistency. Changing routines to use the toilet instead of diapers can be very difficult.
- Sensory issues – Tactile sensitivities may make autistic children distressed by the feeling of the toilet or underwear. They may continue preferring the feel of diapers.
- Developmental delays – Delays in skills like motor control, following directions, and bowel/bladder control impact toilet training readiness.
- Behavior rigidity – Strong preferences for diapers over toilet use can be hard to shift.
But with preparation, adjustments, consistency, positivity and patience, most autistic children can be successful at toilet training, even if it takes more time.
Signs of readiness in autistic children
Since autistic children develop at varied paces, there is no set age when toilet training should begin. Look for the following signs your autistic child may be ready to start:
- Staying dry for an hour or longer
- Regular bowel movements
- Showing interest in the toilet
- Indicating a need to go through words, signs or behaviors
- Able to follow simple instructions
- Can partially undress with help
- Willing to sit on the toilet
Even if your child is not showing all these signs, you can begin the toilet training process gradually. Creating consistency and routine is key.
Tips for toilet training autistic children
Toilet training an autistic child takes patience, preparation and tailored strategies. Here are some helpful tips:
- Start toilet training early – Begin sitting them on the toilet first thing in the morning when their bowel is most likely to be ready.
- Create a routine – Use a consistent schedule, doing toilet sits at the same times each day.
- Use visuals – Use a picture chart, timer or toilet targets to help communicate the process.
- Watch for signals – Note your child’s signs they may need to use the toilet like holding themselves, squatting, or passing gas.
- Use reinforcement – Praise, stickers, high fives, small treats can motivate them to keep trying.
- Go slowly – Move in small steps instead of expecting immediate success. Just sitting on the toilet is a good start!
- Use prompts – Set periodic reminders to use the toilet, like every 30 minutes.
- Make it comfortable – Allow them their preferred toilet seat or underwear type.
- Involve them – Let them flush, wash hands, choose underwear to build interest.
- Stay positive – Accidents will happen, but avoid punishment or negative reactions.
Keep in mind every child will learn at their own pace. With preparation, consistency and positivity, your autistic child can master toilet training.
Average ages for toilet training milestones
While there are no strict timelines, below are the average ages autistic children reach some key toilet training milestones:
| Milestone | Typical Age Range |
|---|---|
| Show interest in the potty | 18 months – 3 years |
| Stay dry for 2+ hours | 2 – 4 years |
| Indicate need to go | 2.5 – 5 years |
| Use potty with assistance | 3 – 6 years |
| Stay dry during the day | 3.5 – 7 years |
| Use toilet independently | 4 – 8 years |
Remember these are just averages – progress ahead or behind this timeline is common and normal in autistic children. Focus on your individual child’s development and readiness.
Nighttime toilet training tips
Daytime toilet training often comes first, but helping an autistic child learn to stay dry at night can also be a process. Nighttime toilet training tips include:
- Wait until daytime training is well established first
- Limit fluids 2-3 hours before bedtime
- Take them to toilet right before bed and when you go to bed
- Use bedwetting alarms that go off at the first sign of accidents
- Use nighttime diapers until they stay dry consistently
- Use mattress protectors and waterproof sheets to manage accidents
- Keep the process positive, not punitive
For many autistic kids, nighttime dryness may not happen until ages 6-8. Stay patient, consistent and understanding.
Common toilet training challenges
Some common challenges that come up when toilet training an autistic child include:
- Fear of the toilet – Introduce the toilet slowly and make it fun until they are comfortable.
- Trouble transitioning off diapers – Stick to routines and use reinforcement rewards for successes.
- Sensory discomfort – Let them pick comfortable, tag-free underwear and potty seats.
- Communication struggles – Use visual aids and watch for nonverbal signals they need to go.
- Resistance to change – Ease into the process gradually instead of expecting immediate results.
- Preference for diapers – Use sticker charts, social praise and consistency to positively motivate them.
- Difficulty recognizing bodily cues – Set timers for periodic bathroom reminder breaks.
These challenges are normal but can be overcome with preparation, consistency and patience when toilet training an autistic child.
Getting support with toilet training
As a parent, you don’t have to toilet train your autistic child alone. Support and guidance can help the process go more smoothly. You can get help from:
- Your child’s doctor
- Occupational therapists
- Applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapists
- Special education teachers
- Other parents of autistic children
- Parent support groups like Autism Speaks
- Books and online resources on toilet training
Toilet training an autistic child takes time but drawing on help and support will make the process easier. With preparation and consistency, your child can learn this important skill.
Conclusion
Toilet training for autistic children can begin later and take longer compared to neurotypical kids. Difficulties with communication, transitions, and sensory issues can all pose challenges. While there is no set timeline, starting the toilet training process around ages 2-4 according to your child’s readiness is often appropriate.
Moving at your child’s pace, tailoring toilet training strategies to their needs, and getting support can all help. With preparation, patience and consistency, toilet training success is very possible for autistic children, even if it takes time. Stay positive through setbacks. The most important thing is supporting your child through this new skill in a compassionate, understanding way.