The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), commonly known as the Mormon church, places a strong emphasis on marriage and family. However, there are no hard-and-fast rules dictating at what age Mormons can begin dating. While Mormon teachings encourage dating within the faith and point towards temple marriage as the ideal, the ultimate decision around relationships is left up to the individual.
Dating Standards for Young Mormons
For young Mormons in their teens and early 20s, the church provides some general dating guidelines and standards to follow. These include:
- Date only those who have high moral standards and share your values.
- Treat your date with respect, avoiding inappropriate behavior.
- Only date those who would be appropriate marriage partners.
- Double date or go on group dates for safety and comfort.
- Involve parents in major decisions around relationships.
- Abstain from sexual relations before marriage.
These standards are taught from a young age and intended to guide youth as they eventually transition into dating. There are no hard rules around what age it becomes appropriate to go on dates or have a boyfriend/girlfriend. However, Mormons are advised to date within their own faith, so teenage years are often a common time for dating to begin after turning 16 and preparing to attend church dances and activities.
Mormon Dating Culture and Practices
Within Mormon culture, dating serves a few important purposes for young adults:
- It allows them to develop social skills in a low-pressure environment.
- It helps them learn about the qualities they seek in a potential marriage partner.
- It gives them opportunities to serve others through double dates and groups.
- It allows them to enjoy wholesome activities with members of the opposite sex.
Some common Mormon dating practices include:
- Attending church dances and activities starting at age 16.
- Going on dates in groups or as double dates.
- Participating in church-sponsored events such as sports, service projects, conferences, etc.
- Spending time together in public places or at home with family present.
- Avoiding situations where couples are completely alone.
Sexual purity before marriage is greatly emphasized, so physical displays of affection are kept very modest. Serious relationships generally progress toward either marriage or breaking up after a certain point, rather than dating casually for years.
Mormon Dating Rules
While not strict commandments, here are some dating rules Mormons tend to follow:
- Date other Mormons – While not an absolute requirement, dating other members of the church is highly emphasized. This helps maintain religious standards and ensures couples share the same values.
- Avoid situations of temptation – Couples should stay out of isolated places, not spend time alone at night, and otherwise avoid situations that could lead to compromising sexual standards.
- Maintain clean thinking – Mormons are taught to avoid entertainment and media that contain profanity, violence, or sexual content as this can influence behavior.
- Seek parental guidance – Serious relationships generally involve the approval and involvement of both sets of parents.
These dating “rules” are intended to provide guidelines that uphold church standards and help Mormon youth prioritize morality, family, and service to others. However, following them is ultimately up to the discretion of the individual.
Serious Mormon Dating and Marriage
Once Mormon youth reach marriageable age, usually during college years, dating becomes more serious. Some guidelines include:
- Seek approval from church leaders – Mormon young adults will often consult with bishops and stake presidents to receive guidance and ensure their relationship is approved.
- Involve parents – Parents provide vital perspective and support as relationships grow more serious and move toward marriage.
- Look for shared faith and values – While not required, Mormons strongly emphasize marrying within the faith to maintain religious unity in marriage.
- Take relationships slowly – Couples are encouraged to allow relationships to develop at a moderate, gradual pace to allow for better discernment.
- Remain sexually pure – Intimacy is reserved for marriage, so couples maintain physical boundaries.
Once couples decide to get married, the wedding traditionally takes place in an LDS temple. Mormons who marry outside the faith or otherwise not in a temple often face social scrutiny.
Non-Mormons Dating Mormons
It is possible for Mormons to date people of other faiths, but it is discouraged by the church. Some things to be aware of include:
- Temple marriage is off limits – Mormons must marry in a temple to obtain the highest blessings, so marrying a non-Mormon would preclude this.
- Social pressure – Family and fellow church members will often frown upon relationships with non-Mormons.
- Different values – Non-LDS partners may not share Mormon standards around chastity, Word of Wisdom, dressing modestly, etc.
- Conversion pressure – Mormon partners may hope their spouse converts in order to marry in the temple.
- Raising children – There may be disagreements around raising children in the Mormon faith.
Interfaith relationships can work, but both parties should be aware of potential challenges. Any prospective conversion should come sincerely from the individual rather than pressure from a partner.
Same-Sex Attraction and Dating
The LDS church only condones dating between a man and a woman. Those experiencing same-sex attraction are encouraged to refrain from acting on those inclinations. Gay marriage is prohibited in Mormon theology, so exclusively same-sex relationships are discouraged. Some guidelines include:
- Do not pursue romantic same-sex relationships.
- Remain celibate outside of opposite-sex marriage.
- Do not identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
- Marry someone of the opposite sex in the temple.
- Work with church leaders to address same-sex attraction.
Those who experience same-sex attraction may feel marginalized, since they do not fit the church’s model for dating and marriage. However, church leaders have expressed that all members deserve love and support, even if certain actions or lifestyles are considered sinful.
Single Adult Mormons
Getting married in the temple and raising faithful families are strongly emphasized goals in Mormon culture. As a result, unmarried adult members over 30 can feel out of place. Some considerations for single Mormons include:
- Feeling family or peer pressure to get married
- Questioning if they missed opportunities to find a spouse
- Believing they may need to compromise standards to marry
- Feeling marginalized from family-oriented church activities
- Suffering from loneliness without a marriage partner
However, church leaders emphasize that marriage is not required for happiness and fulfillment. Single Mormons are encouraged to develop their individual talents and seek opportunities to serve others.
Summary of Mormon Dating
In summary, here are some key points around dating within Mormon practices and culture:
- There are no firm rules on dating age, but Mormons generally begin dating in their late teens.
- Dating helps prepare youth for marriage within the faith.
- Couples are to remain sexually pure until marriage.
- Group dates or double dates are encouraged, especially for younger ages.
- Serious relationships should uphold moral standards and lead toward temple marriage.
- Dating non-Mormons is discouraged but allowed.
- Same-sex relationships are prohibited.
- Single adult Mormons face social pressure around marriage.
Overall, the emphasis is on using dating to find an eternal companion to marry in the temple. However, the ultimate decision on relationships lies with the individual. Through following church standards around dating, Mormons aim to nurture future families andCHAIN stabilize society.
Conclusion
Dating age and practices among Mormons stem from a desire to obey religious standards around marriage and family. While social culture may exert certain pressures, each Mormon must prayerfully decide when and how to approach dating according to their personal inspiration and circumstance. With an eternal perspective on love and faith, Mormons ultimately see the joys and trials of relationships as opportunities to draw closer to God.