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Should you look the interviewer in the eyes?

Should you maintain direct eye contact during an interview?

Looking the interviewer in the eyes during a job interview is generally recommended, as it shows confidence and helps build rapport. However, there are some nuances to consider:

  • Maintain eye contact around 60-70% of the time. Staring non-stop can feel confrontational.
  • Break eye contact periodically by looking at the interviewer’s mouth or eyebrows. This puts them more at ease.
  • If you have anxiety or autism, some eye contact is fine, but don’t force yourself into discomfort.
  • In some cultures, direct eye contact is seen as disrespectful. Adjust accordingly.

The key is to find a natural balance – enough to convey interest and confidence, but not so much that it’s distracting or stressful for either party. Trust your instincts and watch the interviewer’s cues.

How much eye contact is too much?

Staring unrelentingly into someone’s eyes during a conversation can quickly become awkward and off-putting. Here are some signs you may be overdoing the eye contact:

  • The interviewer looks away or breaks eye contact frequently
  • You find yourself struggling to avoid blinking or glancing away
  • The interviewer’s body language becomes closed off or defensive
  • You feel tense, uncomfortable or distracted by the eye contact

As a general rule, aim to make eye contact 60-70% of the time during an interview. Gaze for 3-5 seconds, then briefly scan their face or look elsewhere to give both parties a break. This creates a natural, organic flow.

Striving for 100% eye contact can seem aggressive and confrontational. Trust your instincts – if you feel uncomfortable with the amount of eye contact, the interviewer probably does as well.

Is it rude not to look the interviewer in the eyes?

Avoiding all eye contact during an interview can come across as distracted, disinterested or timid. However, context matters. Here are some cases where limited eye contact may be understandable:

  • Certain cultural backgrounds see direct eye contact as disrespectful, especially with authority figures. Adjust accordingly.
  • Some neurodiverse conditions like autism cause discomfort with eye contact. Don’t force it.
  • You experience social anxiety or a stressful interview environment. Use coping strategies.
  • The interviewer isn’t making much eye contact either. Follow their lead.

The key is to find a middle ground that works for you. Strive to make some eye contact to show engagement and confidence. But don’t force yourself into distress. With practice and self-awareness, you can become more comfortable.

If limited eye contact relates to a medical, cultural or neurological factor, briefly explain this to the interviewer. Most will understand and accommodate.

How can I get better at eye contact?

Making strong yet natural eye contact during an interview takes practice. Here are some tips:

  • Hold eye contact during listening: When the interviewer speaks, keep your gaze steady.
  • Break eye contact when speaking: Glance away periodically when responding to questions.
  • Practice with friends or in the mirror: Get comfortable holding eye contact for longer periods.
  • Visualize eye contact: Imagine looking into the interviewer’s eyes if making real eye contact feels overwhelming.
  • Focus on one eye: Staring into both eyes can be intense. Pick one eye to gaze at.

Start by making eye contact for 3-5 seconds at a time and increase from there. Remember to smile and nod occasionally to break up long periods of eye contact. With practice, you can exude calm confidence.

Conclusion

Maintaining appropriate eye contact during an interview is important for connecting with the interviewer and demonstrating confidence and interest. Strive for 60-70% eye contact, breaking it periodically so both parties feel comfortable. Avoid staring relentlessly, as this can feel aggressive. If you struggle with eye contact, briefly explain relevant cultural or medical factors to the interviewer. With practice and self-awareness, you can master the art of strong yet natural eye contact.