Should kids be respected?

This is an important question that deserves careful consideration. In recent years, there has been much debate around how we should treat and interact with children. Some argue that kids should be seen and not heard, while others believe children deserve the same respect as adults. In this article, we will explore both sides of this issue and look at the reasons for and against respecting children.

Table of Contents

What does it mean to respect someone?

First, it is helpful to define what we mean by “respect.” Respect can be shown in many ways, including:

Listening to someone and considering their viewpoint
Valuing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences
Speaking to them politely and with kindness

Being patient and understanding
Honoring their autonomy and choices

Showing respect does not necessarily mean agreeing with everything someone says or does. However, it does involve making a conscious effort to treat them in a dignified and thoughtful way.

Why some argue kids should not be respected

There are several reasons why some people believe children do not deserve the same level of respect as adults:

Kids are less mature – Children have less life experience and their brains are not fully developed. Some argue this means they are less rational and their opinions less valid.
Kids must be protected – Children are vulnerable and must be shielded from inappropriate information and experiences. Strict discipline is sometimes seen as an act of caring.

Kids must learn their place – Some think kids should not be treated as equals and must learn to defer to adult authority. Letting children speak out or question could undermine that authority.
Respect must be earned – Some see respect as something that must be earned through age, experience and accomplishments. By this logic, children do not warrant the same level of respect.

For these reasons, some argue that children should be seen and not heard. Strict discipline, authority and control are viewed as essential for raising respectful and obedient children.

Why others argue kids should be respected

However, many reject the view that children do not deserve respect. They offer several arguments for why kids should be respected:

Develops empathy & morality – Respecting others is key to developing empathy and strong morals. Respecting children models good behavior.
Helps self-esteem – When children are treated with respect it fosters healthy self-esteem and self-worth.

Builds trust – Showing children respect helps build trust between parents and children.
Teaches respect – When children are respected it teaches them to respect others in return.
Valuable opinions – Kids often offer fresh perspectives. Dismissing their views discourages creative thinking.

Basic human dignity – Children deserve basic dignity as human beings. Respect should be unconditional.

Those arguing for respect note that it is impossible to demand respect from children while simultaneously showing them disrespect. Leading with authority rather than earning mutual respect risks resentful relationships.

Should kids opinions be valued?

A key part of respecting someone is valuing their viewpoints. But should children’s opinions be valued to the same degree as adult perspectives? There are good arguments on both sides:

Against valuing kids’ opinions:

Kids lack life experience and wisdom gained over time.
Their brains are still developing so their reasoning is immature.

They do not have the knowledge and cognitive abilities of adults.
Their opinions are often fickle and fleeting.

For valuing kids’ opinions:

They offer fresh, creative perspectives adults may overlook.
Their views provide insight into children’s interests and needs.
Valuing their opinions teaches them reasoning and communication skills.

It develops confidence and self-esteem.

A balanced approach takes into account children’s maturity and capacity to understand issues. While young children’s opinions on some complex topics may not be well-informed, their perspectives still have value and warrant consideration. Dismissing all kids’ views out of hand risks disempowering them.

Should children question authority?

Another aspect of respect is allowing the freedom to disagree and question authority. Some argue children should do as they are told without objection. However, others see benefits in teaching kids to think critically:

It encourages independence and development of their own values.
It teaches critical thinking skills.
It prevents blind obedience and keeps adults accountable.

Kids sometimes spot problems or issues adults miss.

Of course, questioning authority has limits. Parents and teachers must still enforce rules for safety and behavior. However, an environment where respectful disagreement is permitted helps children develop into independent thinkers and responsible citizens. They learn boundaries and compromise through experience.

Should kids control decisions about their own lives?

Self-determination and control over one’s own life are also key aspects of respect. However, children’s relative immaturity and vulnerability means parents or guardians must guide many decisions. Finding an appropriate balance depends on the child and situation. Areas where kids could be given autonomy include:

Clothing and personal style choices.
Hobbies and leisure activities.
Friends and social life.

Personal possessions and private spaces, like bedrooms.
Opinions on family discussions.

However, life-impacting decisions on issues like education, health and medical treatment often require adult guidance, at least for younger children. As kids gain life experience and approach adulthood, they can gradually take the reins in more aspects of their lives.

Should children have privacy rights?

Respecting privacy is another key consideration. Children have developing needs for autonomy and space. While parents do need visibility into their children’s lives for safety, allowing some personal privacy shows respect. Areas where children could be afforded privacy include:

Personal diaries and journals.
Mobile devices and text communications.

Conversations with friends.
Their bodies and physical privacy.

Blanket monitoring of children’s communications, activities and boundaries risks breaking trust. Parents can maintain oversight through dialogue rather than constant surveillance. As children demonstrate responsibility, privacy privileges can grow.

How to show respect to children

There are many ways parents and teachers can model showing respect to kids. These include:

Listening patiently to their views.
Making eye contact and giving full attention when they speak.

Using polite language and tone when addressing them.
Showing interest in their hobbies, interests and thoughts.
Valuing their unique perspectives and ideas.

Compromising when possible and appropriate.
Apologizing sincerely when mistakes are made.
Explaining reasons for rules and decisions.

Allowing freedom to make age-appropriate choices.

Treating children how we would want to be treated ourselves demonstrates principles of fairness and equality. Authoritative rather than authoritarian approaches foster respectful, ethical kids.

What disciplines methods show respect?

Discipline is necessary to teach kids values and acceptable behavior. However, some methods undermine respect. These include:

Harsh punishments like spanking, hitting or belittling.
Yelling, threats or name-calling.
Overly rigid rules and unrealistic expectations.

Blaming without listening to their side.
Disproportionate punishments that don’t fit the behavior.

Discipline methods showing respect include:

Setting fair, consistent rules and modeling desired behavior.
Listening to reasons for misbehavior before reacting.
Explaining in a calm tone why a behavior was problematic.

Having kids take responsibility by apologizing or fixing mistakes.
Withdrawing privileges as natural consequences of wrong actions.
Praising positive behaviors more than criticizing negatives ones.

This type of firm but fair discipline centers mutual accountability and intrinsic motivation to behave well, not fear of punishment. It demonstrates to children how they should respect others.

Does age impact how children should be respected?

The level of respect warranted may depend somewhat on the child’s age and maturity. For example:

Babies need respect for basic needs like nourishment, comfort and safety.

Toddlers warrant respect for their feelings and budding autonomy.
School-age kids benefit from respect for personal space, opinions and social development.
Teenagers command added respect for expanding boundaries, identity formation and consequences of actions.

The core elements of respect remain constant. However, the degree of autonomy and privacy resigned varies developmentally. Open dialogue helps determine what shows respect at different ages.

Conclusion

Respecting children is a complex balancing act. Kids require guidance to learn how to be ethical, contributing members of society. However, they are also vulnerable human beings entitled to basic dignity who need compassion and patience as they develop. Finding the right blend of care and autonomy demonstrates respect, builds character and forges strong bonds that will guide them well into the future. While not every opinion may warrant equal weight, a degree of mutual respect between children and adults is essential.