Should I carry condoms with me?

Carrying condoms is an important consideration for anyone who is sexually active or thinking about becoming sexually active. While there are many factors to think through, having condoms readily available allows you to make responsible decisions and protect your sexual health. Below we’ll explore the key questions around carrying condoms and provide some guidance on best practices.

Table of Contents

Why Should I Carry Condoms?

There are a few key reasons why it’s advisable to carry condoms with you:

Be prepared for spontaneous sexual encounters – Carrying condoms means you’ll have protection available if an intimate opportunity arises spontaneously. You won’t have to interrupt the moment to find condoms, which can be awkward or lead to risky behavior.
Avoid risky unprotected sex – Without a condom on hand, you may be tempted to have unprotected sex in the heat of the moment. This puts you at risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy. Having a condom eliminates that risk.
Take responsibility for your sexual health – Rather than rely on a partner to have protection, carrying your own condoms puts you in control of safeguarding your sexual health.

Be a considerate sexual partner – Having condoms shows you care about the wellbeing of your partner by wanting to use protection during sex.

The bottom line is carrying condoms means you’ll be prepared to have safe protected sex when you need to.

What Situations Call for Carrying Condoms?

There are certain situations when it’s especially advisable to have condoms with you:

You’re single and dating – If you’re sexually active with new partners, condoms are essential for safe sex. Carrying them ensures you’ll always be protected.
You’re in a non-monogamous relationship – If you or your partner have multiple sexual partners, condoms are a must for reducing STI risk.
Traveling without your partner – When traveling solo, opportunities may arise to be intimate with someone. Packing condoms ensures you can protect yourself in those encounters.

Going out to parties, bars, clubs – Being out socially and perhaps drinking alcohol lowers inhibitions, so the chance of spontaneous sexual encounters increases.
Anticipating intimacy with your partner – If you think you may be intimate with a regular partner, bring condoms just in case. Discuss using protection beforehand.

Basically any situation where the possibility of intimacy exists, it’s wise to come prepared with protection.

How Many Condoms Should I Carry?

The number of condoms you should carry depends on your circumstances:

Singles dating multiple partners – Carry at least 3-6 condoms when out on dates or socially, more if traveling or anticipating lots of sexual activity.
Traveling without your partner – Pack at least 10 condoms for a 1-2 week trip, more for longer trips or if hookups are likely.

Anticipating intimacy with your partner – Carry 2-4 condoms in case you have sex multiple times.

In general, it’s better to have too many than too few condoms with you. Running out of condoms means you’ll have to make a difficult choice – have risky unprotected sex or forgo intimacy in the moment.

What Kind of Condoms Should I Get?

When selecting condoms, consider factors like size, lubrication, and material:

Size – Get the right fit for comfort and safety. Condoms come in snug, regular, and large sizes.
Lubrication – Lubricated condoms feel more natural and prevent breakage. But avoid oil-based lube with latex.
Material – Latex and polyurethane condoms prevent pregnancy and STIs. Lambskin prevents pregnancy but not STIs.

Texture – Options like ribbed, studded, or warming condoms increase sensation.
Thickness – Ultra-thin condoms increase sensitivity while standard condoms decrease it.

Try out different types of condoms to find what works best for sensation and comfort for you and your partner.

Where Should I Keep Condoms Until Needed?

To be prepared, keep condoms in locations where intimacy may occur, like:

Your wallet or pocket – Having condoms on your person makes them easy to access.
Your car – For spontaneous intimate encounters after dates or out socially.

Your bedside table – For planned intimacy with a partner.
Your bathroom – Allows discreet access to condoms before intimacy.
Your travel bag – Ensure you have protection when traveling or heading out.

Condoms should be kept in a cool, dry place and not exposed to friction that could damage the packaging and cause the condom to break. Avoid keeping them in your back pocket where they can tear or become damaged.

How Can I Discreetly Carry Condoms?

There are subtle ways to keep condoms handy without drawing attention to the fact you have them:

Wallet condom sleeves – Slip condoms in card sleeves designed to fit in your wallet.

Condom keyrings – Mini condom carriers attach to your keys for imperceptible carrying.
Condom flasks – Flasks disguised as grooming kits or cigarette cases secretly hold condoms.
Hidden jacket pockets – Keep condoms concealed in internal pockets and compartmentalized cardholders.

Choose low-profile, discreet condom carriers that let you access protection privately. Avoid bulky condom dispensers in your pocket or bag.

Is Carrying Condoms Presumptuous?

Some people may feel carrying condoms implies you’re expecting or looking for sex, but that assumption shouldn’t stop you from being prepared. Here’s why:

It demonstrates responsibility – Carrying condoms shows you make mature, accountable sexual choices.

It removes pressure – Having condoms ready alleviates pressure around getting protection in the spur of the moment.
It prevents dangerous risks – Not having a condom due to fear of presumption can lead to unsafe sex.
It normalizes condom use – The more people carry condoms, the more it promotes safe sex as routine behavior.

Being caught with condoms should be seen as caring about your wellbeing, not evidence you intend to have sex. Normalize condom use by carrying them with you.

Does Carrying Condoms Promote Promiscuity?

No, carrying condoms doesn’t signify promiscuity or cause it. Here’s why:

It encourages responsibility – Carrying condoms shows forethought about protecting your health.

It avoids risky behavior – Not having condoms can lead to unsafe choices in the heat of the moment.
It doesn’t increase sexual activity – Access to contraception doesn’t affect the decision to have sex.
It promotes smart choices – If you have condoms, you can make better decisions about engaging intimately.

Rather than indicating an intent to be promiscuous, carrying condoms empowers people to be selective about their sexual encounters and activities.

What If My Partner Gets Offended?

A partner may wrongly interpret condoms as meaning you intend to be unfaithful. You can reassure them through open communication:

Affirm your commitment to them and the relationship.

Explain that condoms represent responsible planning, not expectations of sex.
Emphasize that condoms protect both your health in the relationship.
Invite them to carry condoms too to demonstrate joint responsibility.

Frame condom use as an act of care towards each other, not mistrust. With open discussion, a partner should understand and support you having protection.

Should I Also Carry a Condom in My Purse/Bag?

While it’s advisable for anyone sexually active to carry condoms themselves, women may also want to keep an extra condom in their purse or bag. Here’s why:

Provides backup if your partner doesn’t have protection

Gives you access if you need to discreetly put a condom on a male partner
Ensures you have protection if separated from a partner’s condom supply
Empowers you to take charge of safeguarding your sexual health

Even if your partner also carries condoms, having your own gives you control over your health and avoids any reliance on someone else.

Do I Also Need to Carry a Dental Dam for Oral Sex?

While condoms protect from STIs and pregnancy during intercourse, dental dams provide a barrier for safer oral sex. Consider carrying dams if:

You engage frequently in oral sex with new partners

You or your partners have oral STIs like herpes, HPV or hepatitis
You want to set a positive example by using barriers for all sexual activity
You need to reassure a partner who’s wary about unprotected oral sex

Like condoms, dams allow you to be prepared to make responsible choices and minimize risks when opportunities for intimacy occur.

Do I Need Consent to Use a Condom During Sex?

Consent is necessary before any sexual activity with a partner. This includes consenting to use a condom. Here are some tips:

Discuss using condoms early before getting intimate

Come to an agreement with your partner about using protection
Never pressure or coerce a partner to have unprotected sex
Check in verbally before intercourse to confirm you both consent

If a partner refuses protection, avoid high-risk activities like intercourse that may transmit STIs or cause pregnancy.

What Do I Do If a Partner Refuses to Use Condoms?

A partner resisting condoms is a big red flag. Respond assertively:

Stick to your decision to use protection and refuse unprotected sex.

Challenge their motives for avoiding condoms and address concerns.
State that protection is non-negotiable for your health.
Offer to postpone or forego risky activities until you reach an agreement.

Consider ending the relationship if they persistently compromise your health.

Someone who disregards your boundaries doesn’t deserve your intimacy. Protect yourself by insisting your health comes first.

How Do I Bring Up Using a Condom Without Killing the Mood?

Initiating condom use doesn’t have to be awkward if you do it confidently and casually. Strategies include:

Briefly stating your need to grab/use a condom as things escalate physically.
Making getting/using the condom part of foreplay.
Complimenting how you find condoms responsible and sexy.

Citing your passion for them and eagerness to use them together.
Simply unveiling the condom without discussion when the timing feels right.

The more naturally you present condoms as an expected part of intimacy, the more your confidence will rub off on your partner.

How Do I Sensually Put on a Condom During Foreplay?

Applying a condom can be made intimate and tantalizing by:

Unwrapping it slowly while holding eye contact.
Caressing your partner as you roll it on.

Whispering how attracted you are to them.
Describing how much you want them.
Building anticipation by prolonging the process.

Kissing passionately afterwards.

Incorporate putting on the condom into lovemaking so it enhances arousal and connection.

What If a Condom Breaks During Sex?

Stop intercourse immediately if a condom breaks, and take these steps:

Withdraw the broken condom carefully to avoid spillage.
Insert a new condom before resuming penetration.
Inspect for injuries or abrasions that may increase STI risk.

Consider emergency contraception like Plan B if concerned about pregnancy.
Get tested for STIs as a precaution.

Condoms can break due to improper use, incorrect sizing, or manufacturing flaws. Discuss the incident after sex to determine why it happened.

Can a Partner Poke Holes in a Condom Without My Knowledge?

Unfortunately, a deceitful partner could try to sabotage condoms by:

Piercing condoms with pins, needles, or other sharp objects
Cutting or tearing the material

Damaging them by exposing condoms to heat or friction
Putting them on improperly so they’re prone to slipping off

This reproductive coercion violates consent and exposes you to unplanned pregnancy and STIs. End the relationship if sabotage is suspected.

Is it Illegal For a Partner to Remove a Condom Without Consent?

Yes, removing a condom during sex without permission, known as “stealthing”, is illegal due to:

Violating consent given under the condition of using protection
Dramatically increasing the risk of transmitting STIs and pregnancy

Going against public health principles and personal autonomy

Victims can pursue legal action. More public awareness and consequences for offenders will hopefully deter stealthing.

Conclusion

Carrying condoms empowers people to protect their reproductive health whenever intimate situations arise. While some still view condom use negatively, normalizing carrying them demonstrates responsibility and maturity. With the right strategies, condoms can be incorporated into sexuality positively. By being prepared with protection, you take charge of your health.