Blocking someone can be a difficult decision. On one hand, cutting off contact eliminates drama and protects you from further hurt. On the other hand, blocking can feel extreme and you may miss meaningful interactions. There are many factors to consider before taking this major step. This article will walk through key questions to ask yourself to decide if blocking him is the right choice.
Is he harassing you?
If he is constantly messaging, calling, or contacting you in unwanted ways, this constitutes harassment. You have every right to block someone who won’t respect your requests for space. Keep records of his unwanted contact attempts in case you need to involve authorities. If he is making you feel scared or unsafe, blocking him is absolutely warranted.
Has he been abusive?
Blocking is appropriate if he has been emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually abusive. You should not have to endure mistreatment or expose yourself to someone toxic. Your safety and well-being need to be the priority. Consider blocking him on all platforms so he cannot access you or monitor your activity. Sever contact completely to protect yourself.
Are you in a unhealthy relationship pattern?
Blocking can be a way to break the cycle if your relationship involves a push-pull dynamic. Constant highs and lows signal an unhealthy bond. Blocking removes the temptation to get sucked back into drama. It also sends a firm message the status quo is unacceptable for you. Blocking may shock him into changing his behavior if he wants you back.
Do you need closure?
If you still have questions about why the relationship dissolved or things you need to express, blocking may not be the best idea yet. You may want closure before taking this permanent step. However, if speaking further risks your emotional or physical well-being, prioritize yourself over closure.
Are you unable to move on?
Seeing his social media or communicating can stall moving on if the relationship ended. Blocking prevents you from checking on him or engaging when you’re vulnerable. Removing constant reminders helps you focus on healing. Blocking is wise if you know contact will reopen wounds.
Does he still have your possessions?
If he has items of yours, blocking makes retrieving your belongings challenging. Wait until you get your stuff back before blocking him. This prevents unnecessary complications. But if you fear seeing him to get your possessions, having a neutral third party coordinate exchanges may be safer.
Could blocking impact your connections?
If you have mutual friends or run in shared circles, blocking can cause ripple effects. Others may get caught in the crosshairs or feel forced to take sides. Consider whether blocking will isolate you socially before deciding. If preserving connections matters, setting firm boundaries rather than blocking may be wise.
Are you acting out of anger?
Blocking in the heat of the moment may create regret later on. Give yourself time to calm down first. Blocking when thinking rationally and looking out for your well-being yields the best results. Knee-jerk reactions while upset can cause more harm than good. Avoid blocking someone just to make yourself feel better temporarily.
Could you resolve issues through communication?
If you have not voiced your concerns directly, blocking may seem premature. Have an honest discussion explaining your perspective first. If he seems receptive to mending fences, blocking may not be necessary. But if he is dismissive or unapologetic, blocking lets him know mistreatment will end one way or another.
Are you overly attached?
Blocking can become problematic if used to manipulate or force connection. For example, blocking to elicit chasing behavior or provoke jealousy is unhealthy. Make sure blocking aligns with your values and is not a tool for control. Engage in self-reflection to check your motives.
Could it impact your finances?
If you have financial agreements in place, blocking makes sorting out money matters difficult. Also, if he owes you funds or vice versa, blocking may complicate repayment. Try to resolve financial entanglements prior to blocking someone. Legal action to recoup money is an option if someone will not pay what is owed.
Do you share custody?
If you co-parent children, blocking his number makes communication about the kids challenging. Keeping an open line regarding schedules and care is crucial. So if blocking impacts your ability to co-parent effectively, setting firm boundaries about acceptable topics may work better than fully cutting contact.
Is he toxic on social media?
Blocking on social media platforms removes his ability to passive aggressively interact through posts, comments, likes, etc. Blocking prevents him from monitoring you online or causing emotional turmoil through your feeds. Block his accounts if he uses social media to torch the wound.
Could it cause retaliation?
In extreme cases, blocking someone may incite retaliation or escalation from that person. If you have reason to fear how he will react, get advice from people you trust or speak to professionals to create a safety plan. Blocking may still be right for you, but take precautions.
Are boundaries enough?
Setting clear expectations for behavior may sufficiently protect your well-being without blocking. However, some people repeatedly violate stated boundaries, making blocking the only way to enforce them. Trust your instincts whether boundaries or blocking is needed based on his willingness to respect your requests.
Conclusion
Blocking requires balancing many interpersonal factors specific to your situation. While blocking is appropriate for dealing with harassment, abuse, and toxicity, acting out of impulse or manipulation are unhealthy motivations. Thoroughly reflect before taking this major step. But if blocking someone feels right for your physical, emotional, and mental health, do not hesitate to put yourself first. You have every right to cut contact with those who harm you. Trust your gut whether blocking this person will lift a weight off your shoulders so you can move forward freely.
Key Questions to Ask Yourself When Considering Blocking Someone:
| Is he harassing or abusing you? | Do you need closure? |
| Are you in an unhealthy relationship pattern? | Are you unable to move on? |
| Could blocking impact your connections? | Are you acting out of anger? |
| Could you resolve issues through communication? | Are you overly attached? |
| Could it impact your finances? | Do you share custody? |
| Is he toxic on social media? | Could it cause retaliation? |
| Are boundaries enough? |
When making this decision, your safety, well-being, and peace of mind need to be the priority. Trust your intuition about what feels healthiest for you regarding blocking or setting firm boundaries with this person. You deserve to feel secure and comfortable as you move forward in life without harm.