Lying, or being deliberately untruthful, is a complex behavior that nearly all humans engage in at some point. Though common, lying can become problematic and harmful in certain contexts. This leads some to question whether habitual, compulsive, or pathological lying should be considered a mental illness.
What is lying?
Lying involves intentionally attempting to mislead someone. It means knowingly saying something untrue or inaccurate. Lying can involve making up information as well as omitting key details. It differs from simply being mistaken, as the liar is aware they are presenting false information.
There are several types of lies:
- White lies – Small, often harmless lies told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or getting in trouble.
- Exaggerations – Overstating or embellishing the truth.
- Lies of omission – Leaving out facts or details to mislead someone.
- Bold-faced lies – Completely fabricated statements presented as facts.
Lying exists on a spectrum from inconsequential fibs to malicious dishonesty. Most lies fall in the middle, with people often lying to gain an advantage, avoid consequences, impress others, or get what they want.
Why do people lie?
There are many reasons people lie, even those who are generally honest. Common motivations for lying include:
- Avoiding punishment or disapproval
- Avoiding embarrassment or hurt feelings
- Building or protecting self-esteem
- Obtaining a reward or benefit
- Exerting control over others
- Concealing something shameful or improper
- Protecting or impressing others
- For fun or entertainment
Lying often starts at a young age as children learn they can avoid punishment or get what they want by bending the truth. White lies are typically viewed as innocuous, even necessary for smooth social interactions. Lying also becomes more common and complex as the brain develops the capacity for deception during adolescence.
Is lying normal?
Lying is quite common among humans. Studies show most people tell 1-2 lies daily on average. Lying generally peaks in the teen years and declines slowly as people age. Men report lying slightly more often than women.
Though often considered unethical, lying is seen as a normal part of human communication and social strategy. The capacity for deceit and deception appears woven into our evolutionary development. Scientists propose lying may have conferred advantages to early humans in competition for resources, mating opportunities, and avoiding attacks from rivals.
Some deception and lie-telling is almost universally viewed as acceptable. In particular, “prosocial lies” told to benefit others are more likely to be condoned. A 2021 study asked participants about their lying habits and views on deception:
| 91% | admitted to regular lying |
| 82% | viewed lies to help others as sometimes acceptable |
| 39% | said it is sometimes ok to lie to children to protect their feelings |
| 17% | believed they never lie |
This demonstrates while lying has stigma, most people engage in some deception and can view it as justified in certain situations. Smaller white lies are ubiquitous in human interaction.
When can lying be harmful?
Though commonplace, lying can become problematic in several ways:
- Compulsive lying – Having an irresistible urge to lie or feeling unable to stop even if you want to. Lying feels automatic and like a habit.
- Pathological lying – Persistent lying without a clear purpose or motivation. May involve elaborate fabricated stories.
- Pervasive lying – Lying frequently and about minor and major things indiscriminately. Truth-telling feels unnatural.
- Self-deception – Lying to yourself or radically altering perceptions of reality to suit false personal narratives.
- Antisocial lying – Lying to manipulate, control, harm others, or break the law. May involve fabricated victimhood.
Lying patterns like these can damage relationships, reputations, and careers. Persistent lies often spiral into more frequent and bigger lies over time as well. Severe cases when deception becomes uncontrollable can lead to questions of mental illness.
Is pathological lying a mental illness?
Pathological lying is one of the most contested forms of lying. It involves habitual or compulsive lying without any clear purpose or benefit. These lies are often elaborate stories that seem driven by a need for attention and drama. Pathological liars may believe their own lies at times.
Currently, pathological lying is not listed as a distinct mental illness. However, it is often seen as a symptom of conditions like:
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Borderline personality disorder
- Histrionic personality disorder
- Factitious disorder
Compulsive lying is also more common in people with substance abuse issues. Trauma or insecure attachment in childhood may contribute to pathological lying starting early as well.
There are competing views on whether pathological lying warrants being classified as its own disorder. More research is still needed on the motivation, origin, and treatment of compulsive fabricated untruths.
Signs of problem lying
When does normal lying cross the line into mental health concern? Signs lying may be excessive include:
- Lying over minor or inconsequential matters
- Elaborate detailed lies
- Frequently contradicting self or changing stories
- Reacting angrily or defensively when questioned
- Inability to take responsibility when caught lying
- Lying impulsively without planning
- Causing harm to others via lying
- Lying despite negative consequences
- Others often expressing distrust or disbelief
True compulsive lying causes significant distress and dysfunction. It persists across situations and despite attempts to stop. Lies grow more exaggerated over time as well. These signs differentiate it from more situational types of deception.
When to seek help
Seeking professional assessment may be advisable if lying involves:
- Losing jobs or relationships due to lying
- Others questioning your connection to reality
- Engaging in antisocial or illegal behavior via lying
- Significantly harming yourself or others
- Intense feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness
- Major life functioning difficulties due to lying
- Inability to control lying despite negative impacts
A disorder like pathological lying requires assessment by a licensed mental health professional. They can help uncover any underlying conditions contributing to uncontrollable fabricated untruths.
Managing & treating pathological lying
Treatment options for compulsive or pathological lying may include:
- Psychotherapy – Talk therapy techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy help identify triggers and teach coping skills.
- Medication – If other disorders are present, medication may help treat symptoms or control impulses.
- Support groups – 12-step programs like Narcotics Anonymous provide peer support for overcoming addiction-related compulsions.
- Education – Learning more about the impacts of pathological lying can improve motivation to change.
- Improving self-esteem – Counseling to enhance self-confidence may reduce the need for fabrications.
Successful management of pathological lying requires a high degree of insight, self-monitoring, and willingness to change entrenched behaviors. Support from loved ones is also key to reinforcing honesty and sincerity.
Coping with a pathological liar
Coping with a partner, friend, or family member with compulsive lying issues can be very challenging. Some strategies include:
- Avoid accusatory tone and lecturing – This often provokes more lying as a defense.
- Don’t expect change overnight – Habitual lying develops over years and takes time to overcome.
- Encourage accountability – Develop clear expectations around telling the truth.
- Pick battles wisely – Don’t expend energy debating over minor lies.
- Focus on self-care – Get support and set boundaries to manage your own stress.
- Express caring despite dishonesty – Change is more likely through compassion than criticism.
- Consider therapy – Therapy often helps improve strained relationships affected by lying.
You cannot force someone to be honest, but you can control how you respond. Having empathy while firmly confronting lies is key to maintaining relationships with a pathological liar.
Is lying a mental illness? The verdict
So in summary, is compulsive lying a bona fide mental illness? The experts remain divided on this issue. Key conclusions include:
- Some habitual, uncontrollable lying likely stems from mental disorders. But there is debate if pathological lying exists as a separate clinical syndrome.
- More research is still needed on the neurological and behavioral underpinnings of different types of pathological lying.
- All humans lie at times, but frequent and uncontrolled lying often signals deeper psychological troubles.
- Treatment should focus on uncovering any underlying conditions like personality disorders, trauma, or addiction issues.
- With self-awareness, motivation, and support, entrenched lying habits can be overcome in many instances.
So in summary – lying exists on a spectrum. Occasional white lies are normal. But consistent, uncontrollable fabrication of the truth likely signifies underlying mental health issues in many cases.