Kissing is an intimate act of affection that is common in many cultures around the world. But is this behavior something humans are naturally inclined to do, or is it a learned cultural practice? Research suggests that the answer is not so black-and-white.
Theories on the origins of kissing
There are several theories about how kissing first emerged and became a common human practice:
- Kissing evolved as a way to assess potential mates. The exchange of saliva may provide information about a partner’s genetic compatibility.
- Kissing helps with bonding and attachment between parents and offspring.
- Kissing originated as a way to pass chewed food between mother and child, as is seen in some animal species.
- Kissing helps spread germs and viruses, contributing to stronger immune systems.
While the precise evolutionary origins are unknown, most anthropologists believe that kissing has been a part of human behavior for tens of thousands of years or more.
Is kissing instinctive?
One piece of evidence that kissing may be an inborn behavior is that it seems to occur spontaneously. For example, studies of deaf-blind children who have had minimal exposure to displays of affection have shown that they will still engage in kissing behaviors.
Additionally, kissing-like behaviors have been observed in other mammal species, particularly between mothers and offspring. Bonobos, which are one of humans’ closest primate relatives, also kiss each other frequently.
This suggests there may be an innate biological drive behind kissing in humans as well. However, the fact that norms around kissing vary so widely between cultures indicates that social learning also plays a significant role.
Cultural differences in kissing
While kissing is considered an intimate act in many Western cultures, norms for kissing vary greatly across the world:
- In some parts of Sub-Saharan Africa, kissing is not practiced at all.
- In Greece and other parts of southern Europe, friendly kissing between members of the same sex is common.
- In China, pressing one’s nose to another’s cheek is often used as a greeting instead of lip kissing.
- Some Islamic scholars prohibit romantic mouth kissing before marriage.
These differences highlight that who we kiss, when and where are dictated largely by social customs rather than pure instinct. Children likely observe kissing behaviors between adults and other children and imitate them from a young age.
Kissing customs around the world
| Country/Region | Kissing Norms |
|---|---|
| France | Cheek kissing is common greeting among friends |
| Japan | Kissing is seen as very intimate and usually avoided in public |
| India | Kissing is taboo and rarely shown in films or public |
| New Zealand | Nose rubbing (called a hongi) used as traditional Maori greeting |
Is kissing learned or instinctive?
Research seems to suggest that kissing involves both biological urges and social learning:
- Kissing activates pleasure hormones like oxytocin and dopamine in the brain, suggesting an innate motivation.
- Infants exhibit some kissing behaviors without being taught, but social cues shape when and how kissing is appropriate.
- Wide cultural differences in kissing practices highlight the importance of social learning.
So in summary, the act of kissing itself seems to stem from inborn impulses, but norms dictating who we do it with and when are determined by culture.
The benefits of kissing
Whatever its origins, kissing has stuck around in human society and been incorporated into many rituals and practices. Below are some of the key benefits of kissing and reasons it continues to be a vital part of human bonding:
Health benefits
- Reduces stress and cortisol levels.
- Lowers blood pressure.
- Releases “feel good” hormones like dopamine and oxytocin.
- Exercises facial muscles.
- Boosts immune system by exposing you to new germs.
Social and emotional benefits
- Expression of love and attachment.
- Strengthens pair bonding and intimacy.
- Provides comfort and security.
- Signals interest and affection.
- Method of conflict resolution.
Kissing remains a key courtship and bonding ritual in many cultures, likely because of the emotional and physiological benefits it offers. It provides a way to express and reinforce love between romantic partners, parents and children, friends, and other valued individuals.
Conclusion
While the origins of kissing may arise from innate mating instincts and parental care activities, the specific behaviors and norms around kissing are very much socially constructed. Who we kiss, when and where are determined largely by cultural traditions passed through generations. At the same time, kissing does provide significant benefits for bonding, affection, stress relief and health that likely contribute to its popularity across the world. Moving forward, cultural attitudes around kissing will likely continue to shift and change as human societies evolve.