Personality is the combination of characteristics that form an individual’s distinctive character. It encompasses our habits, emotional tendencies, and ingrained patterns of behavior. Some key aspects of personality include:
- Introversion vs. extroversion – Whether you tend to be reserved and require more alone time or outgoing and energized by interacting with others.
- Conscientiousness – How organized, disciplined, and achievement-oriented you are.
- Agreeableness – How cooperative, trusting, and good-natured you are towards others.
- Neuroticism – How prone you are to experiencing negative emotions like anxiety, anger, and depression.
- Openness – How open you are to new ideas, experiences, and intellectual curiosity.
Our personality develops early in life and is shaped by a combination of genetics and life experiences. By adulthood, our personality traits tend to be relatively stable over our lifetime. However, some change is possible if you’re willing to put in consistent, long-term effort.
Is it possible to make major personality changes?
While our personality is largely enduring, researchers have found that intentional changes are possible through targeted interventions and concerted effort. Major personality shifts require reshaping deeply ingrained cognitive patterns and behavior habits developed over a lifetime.
Studies have shown that personality changes tend to occur gradually, over extended periods. For example, a 2006 study followed participants for 7 years and found increases in social vitality, self-control, and emotional stability. However, these changes were modest, not drastic shifts.
Other research has found that major life experiences can catalyze positive personality changes. For example:
- Marriage is associated with increased emotional stability and social responsibility.
- Having children is linked to increased self-control, warmth, responsibility, and emotional stability.
- Higher education is correlated with increased openness to new experiences and intellectual curiosity.
- Trauma can prompt increased reflection and personal growth.
While our core personality remains relatively stable, purposeful interventions and major life events present opportunities for gradual change across the lifespan.
What factors make personality changes possible?
Certain conditions make personality changes more likely:
| Factor | Description |
|---|---|
| Self-awareness | Understanding your own personality, strengths, weaknesses, and growth areas. |
| Motivation | A strong desire to change and willingness to persist through challenges. |
| Life changes | Major new responsibilities or experiences that provide opportunities for growth. |
| Therapy | Working with a therapist or coach to identify healthy goals and make incremental progress. |
| Practice | Consistently acting counter to your instincts until new habits form. |
With raised awareness, determination, and sustained effort over many years, considerable personality change is possible. However, it requires challenging ingrained patterns and adopting new ways of thinking and behaving.
What are effective strategies for changing your personality?
Here are some research-backed tips for modifying your personality:
1. Set specific goals
Rather than a vague desire to “be more extroverted,” set precise, measurable goals like “have lunch with a colleague twice per week.” Break major changes down into smaller steps.
2. Identify strengths and weaknesses
Assess your own personality through tests like Myers-Briggs or Big Five. Understanding your tendencies can help you set tailored goals to capitalize on strengths and improve weaknesses through focused effort.
3. Challenge automatic reactions
With conscious effort, you can catch yourself in the moment when you default to ingrained behaviors and choose a different response. Acting “out of character” repeatedly can gradually shift your personality.
4. Make behavioral changes
Change external behaviors first and internal shifts may follow. For example, forcing yourself to be more social can eventually increase extraversion. Start small with manageable steps.
5. Use weekly reflections
Take 10-15 minutes each week to review your goals and progress. Journal about what behaviors you exhibited and how you felt. Track incremental changes over months.
6. Seek support
Ask trusted friends and family to provide feedback and encouragement. A therapist can also help uncover motivations and create a personalized growth plan.
7. Practice mindfulness
Meditation and mindfulness exercises can increase self-awareness of personality patterns. Being able to objectively observe your thoughts and behaviors enables change.
8. Lean into discomfort
Personality changes require moving beyond your comfort zone. Pursue challenging experiences that force adaptation and new behavior patterns.
9. Be patient and persistent
Enduring change doesn’t happen overnight. Stick with new behaviors through slip-ups, frustration, and slow progress. Personality development is a marathon, not a sprint.
Are there potential downsides to changing your personality?
While personality changes can enrich life, there are some risks and caveats to consider:
- Losing positive aspects of your personality in the process – don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.
- Overcorrecting by adopting extreme new personality traits.
- Inauthenticity if changes don’t align with core self.
- Disappointment from slow pace of change despite effort.
- Frustration and discouragement from frequent relapses.
- Changes not being recognized or welcomed by others.
- New behaviors feeling forced and unsustainable long-term.
To avoid these downsides, pursue changes for intrinsic reasons, not external validation. Seek improvement, not perfection. Focus on gradual enhancement vs. drastic overnight shifts. Keep working at growth while accepting natural limitations.
Conclusion
While our personalities are largely set in adulthood, purposeful change is possible through sustained intention and effort. Major shifts require raising self-awareness, establishing specific goals, changing behaviors consistently over time, and drawing on external support and encouragement.
However, personality changes do not happen quickly or easily. Progress occurs incrementally over years, not days. With realistic expectations about pace, thoughtful personal reflection, and commitment to keep growing, you can achieve meaningful changes that enrich your life and relationships.