Having no friends during college can feel isolating, but it’s actually more common than you might think. According to a survey from the University of Michigan, up to 30% of college students report feeling lonely frequently. Difficulty making friends in college stems from several factors – here are some of the main causes and tips for making more connections.
Why You Might Have No Friends in College
There are a few key reasons why you may be struggling to make friends in college:
- You’re an introvert or have social anxiety. If you’re naturally shy or experience anxiety in social situations, it can be hard to put yourself out there and meet new people.
- You commute to campus. Making friends is harder when you don’t live on campus or spend time in dorms. Commuter students have fewer opportunities for casual socializing.
- You’re focused on academics. Some students are very career-driven and spend most of their energy on classes, research, and studying. While academics are important, friends are too!
- You haven’t joined clubs. Extracurricular clubs and activities provide built-in chances to meet people with common interests.
- You’re still adjusting. Transitioning to college can be overwhelming. The first semester or two might be solitary as you find your footing.
While having no friends might be circumstantial, prolonged isolation can negatively impact your health and college experience. Forming connections leads to a sense of community and support that helps students succeed.
How to Make Friends in College
If you find yourself friendless, there are practical steps you can take to expand your social network:
Join clubs or groups
One of the best ways to meet potential friends is getting involved on campus. Join groups related to your major, interests, cultural background, or just for fun. Some options include:
- Academic organizations like pre-law society or engineering club
- Club sports like ultimate frisbee or quidditch
- Cultural clubs like Black Student Union or Latino Student Association
- Hobby clubs like gaming club or photography club
- Community service organizations
- Greek life like sororities and fraternities
Getting active in one or two groups gives you a regular way to see and bond with the same people. And you already have at least one common interest!
Talk to classmates
Your fellow students are a convenient pool of friend candidates. Make an effort to socialize before or after class. Some icebreakers include:
- Asking about an assignment
- Commenting on something from lecture
- Starting a study group
- Suggesting grabbing food after class occasionally
Exchanging numbers makes it easier to communicate about schoolwork and potentially hang out later.
Make roommate connections
If you live in a dorm, build a friendship with your roommate(s). Plan to spend time together and learn about each other. Roommates, hallmates, and others in your residence can become your closest confidants and social group.
Connect with your RA
Resident advisors (RAs) are students too. Get to know your RA and ask about social events in your hall. RAs can also introduce you to other students or groups.
Attend campus events
Keep an eye out for interesting campus happenings like movie nights, music performances, parties, and seasonal events. Read posters in dining halls and student centers. Following student activity groups on social media can clue you into fun outings where you can meet fellow students.
Get a campus job
On-campus jobs like working at the library, gym, tutoring center, cafeteria and more come with natural ways to chat with co-workers during shifts. Coworkers can become an informal friend group that grabs meals after work.
Try online communities
For shy or introverted students, online platforms can provide lower-pressure socialization. Join group chats related to your college on Facebook, Discord, Reddit, or other apps. Getting to know people online first can make in-person meetups less intimidating.
Chat with apartment neighbors
If you live in off-campus student housing or apartments, don’t ignore your neighbors! Say hello when you pass them in the hallway or laundry room and make occasional small talk. With familiarity, you can start hanging out.
Match with a mentor
Some colleges have official peer mentorship programs that pair you with an older student. Your mentor can include you in social activities and introduce you to their friends. If not, make friends with TAs, RAs, upperclassmen in your major, or club leaders.
Friend first dates
Suggest quick low-pressure friend “dates” to start – going for a walk together, checking out an on-campus coffee shop, studying at the library. Keep it casual at first to get comfortable.
Say yes to invitations
When classmates, acquaintances, or roommates extend invitations to you – whether for a party, club meeting, or dinner – try accepting instead of declining due to shyness. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone leads to connections.
Offer support
If you notice classmates struggling with a subject you’re good at, offer to study together. Helping each other breeds friendship. If a student seems down, ask if they’re okay. Small acts of kindness go a long way.
Use dating apps
Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have options to filter by college. You can match with fellow students just looking to make friends. Chat to find common ground, then suggest meeting on campus.
Tips for Introverts Making Friends
Being introverted makes making new friends more of an active effort. Here are some tips to help introverts navigate socializing:
- Start conversations about classwork. Academic talk feels natural.
- Bring a roommate along to clubs or events at first so you have a built-in companion.
- Interact online first before meeting IRL, like joining that Discord chat for your dorm.
- Spend one-on-one time with potential friends instead of big groups.
- Suggest study dates at the library where you can chat quietly.
- Be upfront about being shy – people will understand and make an effort.
- Take things slowly and give friendships time to blossom.
Signs You Should Seek Additional Social Support
While some college students are genuinely content with just a few good friends, extensive isolation can be unhealthy. Look out for these signs that your lack of friends may need addressing:
- You feel sad, lonely or depressed most days
- Your grades are slipping because you lack study motivation
- You have trouble concentrating and sleeping
- You’ve lost interest in hobbies and activities
- You’re drinking, partying, or using drugs to cope with loneliness
- You have recurring thoughts of harming yourself
If you are experiencing any of the above, meet with a campus counselor immediately to get help. You may be dealing with depression, social anxiety, or other mental health issues.
Building a social support system will be an important part of your treatment. The counselor can connect you with social groups, peer mentoring, and other resources to start making friends.
When to Give Friendships More Time
Sometimes students simply need to give friendships a chance to develop before judging themselves as friendless. Be patient and keep putting yourself out there if:
- You’ve only been at college for a few weeks
- You’ve joined clubs but haven’t gotten to know members yet
- You connected with classmates but only see them during class right now
- You’ve had good conversations with dormmates but haven’t hung out yet
Keep in mind that making close friends may take months. Allow relationships to progress gradually from acquaintances to friends. With effort, you’ll find your group.
When to Reach Out for Help Making Friends
If you still have no friends after trying for a semester or longer, don’t despair – ask for help! Meet with your academic advisor, RA, or campus counseling office and explain your difficulties making social connections. They can offer advice and point you towards resources like:
- Social skills workshops or friendship bootcamps
- One-on-one counseling for shyness or anxiety
- Support groups for commuters or transfer students
- Big Brother/Big Sister programs
- Learning communities to connect students with shared majors or interests
You are not the only student who struggles with making friends! Seeking assistance shows maturity and resolve to improve your situation.
| Time at College | Friendship Status | What To Do |
|---|---|---|
| Less than 1 semester | No friends yet | Give it more time – try clubs and talk to classmates |
| 1-2 semesters | No friends yet | Ask campus staff for help connecting to resources |
| More than 2 semesters | No friends | Seek counseling for depression or anxiety |
Using Social Media to Make Friends at College
Online platforms offer another route for making friends at college. Here are some tips for using social media to connect:
- Follow your college, dorm, major department, clubs, and other student groups on Instagram and Facebook. Comment on posts and message group admins to get involved.
- On Facebook, search for incoming/current student groups for your university. Join them to meet classmates.
- On Instagram and Snapchat, search your college’s name and location to find classmates’ accounts. Follow students with similar interests.
- DM classmates who you want to befriend. Mention a class you share or funny meme. Ask to study together.
- Post stories showcasing your interests and college life. Potential friends with similar vibes will reach out.
- Say yes if classmates invite you to group chats on GroupMe, WhatsApp or GroupMe. These cultivate friendship.
Using social media is especially helpful for introverts or shy students to forge connections online first before meeting up. But balance screen time with in-person activities too.
How to Be a Good Friend and Keep Friends in College
Once you start connecting with potential friends, nurture those new relationships. Put effort into being a thoughtful, reliable companion. Good friendship skills include:
- Initiating plans – invite classmates to study, grab food, attend events so they know you’re interested in friendship.
- Remembering details – note friends’ birthday, favorite foods, interests, etc. Follow up on important things happening in their lives.
- Compromising – take turns choosing activities or restaurants. Don’t always insist on your preference.
- Communicating regularly – text memes, share articles, DM on social media between in-person hangs.
- Being reliable – avoid flaking on study sessions or party plans. Stick to commitments.
- Listening – offer your full attention when friends open up and need support.
- Supporting goals – congratulate your pre-med pal on med school acceptances. Celebrate achievements.
Treating classmates with care and consistency helps form lasting bonds.
Maintaining Friendships After College
Don’t let the friendships you’ve made fade away post-graduation. To stay connected:
- Add graduating friends on LinkedIn and confirm contact info
- Schedule periodic video calls or phone dates to update each other
- Comment on social media posts and like their life updates
- Send cards or care packages for big events
- Plan meetups when visiting each other’s new cities
- Coordinate meetups at young alumni events or homecoming
- Join group chats and share memories from college days
Nourishing college friendships after university takes effort but brings lifelong benefits. These bonds offer professional connections, local couches to crash on during travel, and pure fun reminiscing together.
In Conclusion…
Adjusting socially at college affects almost everyone to some degree. Be patient with yourself and keep putting effort into meeting classmates, joining activities, and developing connections. If you feel isolated or depressed, immediately reach out for mental health support.
Making friends in college reaps huge dividends for both your social life and academic success. By graduation, you’ll have cultivated life-long friendships andcreated memories to cherish forever.