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Is it better to cry than hold it in?

Crying is a natural emotional response to sadness, pain, or frustration. When we hold in our tears, we may think we are “staying strong,” but bottling up emotions can actually be detrimental to our mental and physical health. Research shows that crying can provide both psychological and physiological benefits. In this article, we will explore the science behind crying, the pros and cons of releasing vs. suppressing tears, and healthy ways to process emotions.

The Science and Purpose of Crying

Crying is controlled by the limbic system in the brain, which regulates emotion. When we experience sadness, loss, anger, or physical pain, the brain sends signals to the lacrimal glands near our eyes, triggering the production of tears. Crying expels chemicals that build up in the body during times of stress. Let’s examine some key facts about the science and purpose of crying:

  • Crying releases oxytocin – a hormone that promotes bonding and feelings of closeness
  • Tears contain leucine enkephalin – a natural painkiller
  • Crying flushes stress hormones (like cortisol) out of the body
  • Sobbing causes deep breathing, which helps calm the nervous system
  • Crying triggers the vagus nerve, lowering blood pressure and heart rate

In essence, crying is the body’s natural way to return to a state of homeostasis after experiencing emotional turmoil. The physical act brings relaxation and balance after inner tension builds up.

The Benefits of Crying

Now that we understand the science behind tears, let’s explore some of the major benefits that crying can provide:

Psychological Benefits

  • Emotional release – Crying lets us express and release pent-up emotions, helping prevent inner tension from accumulating over time. This prevents emotions like grief, sadness, and anger from weighing us down internally.
  • Clarity – Shedding tears can help clear our mind when we feel overwhelmed. Crying can allow us to process emotions that may cloud rational thought.
  • Calmness – A good cry leaves most people feeling more settled and peaceful afterward. Crying allows the body to return to a relaxed state.
  • Perspective – Crying can help us reflect on life challenges with a renewed mental clarity and more balanced perspective.

Physiological Benefits

  • Physical release of toxins – Tears help flush stress hormones (like cortisol and adrenaline) out of the body to prevent toxin buildup.
  • Reduced pain – Emotional tears contain a natural pain reliever called leucine enkephalin, which helps ease both physical and psychological hurts.
  • Improved breathing – Sobbing requires deep inhalation and exhalation, which delivers oxygen throughout the body and brain.
  • Lowered blood pressure – Crying stimulates the vagus nerve, slowing the heart rate and lowering blood pressure.

In summary, crying serves several protective health purposes. Shedding tears can literally cleanse our mind, body, and spirit when we’re overwhelmed. However, crying isn’t entirely positive for everyone. Next, we’ll examine the potential downsides.

The Drawbacks of Crying

For some people, crying may cause more harm than good. Here are a few of the possible downsides:

  • Can exacerbate feelings of loss and sadness – While crying can be cathartic, it may amplify negative emotions in some cases. This is especially true for frequent and intense crying.
  • May lead to isolation and relationship friction – Chronic crying can strain personal relationships. Friends and family may struggle to help a person who cries often.
  • Can signal mental health issues – If someone cries daily or several times a week, it may indicate underlying mental illness like depression or anxiety disorders.
  • Contributes to dehydration and fatigue – Long crying jags can cause fluid loss, headaches, and exhaustion which takes a physical toll.

Crying is not helpful for everyone. Some personality types may dwell on negative thoughts while crying, which can spiral into deeper despair. Additionally, frequent and intense crying can socially isolate people over time.

The Pros and Cons of Suppressing Emotion

What about the opposite approach – trying to restrain ourselves from crying? Stoically holding back tears may seem like “staying strong” but repressing crying has consequences too.

Potential Benefits of Suppressing Crying

  • Avoids short-term social awkwardness – Restraining tears may help temporarily avoid uncomfortable social interactions.
  • Projects an image of stability – Some people may interpret a stiff upper lip as a sign of mental strength and resilience.
  • Prevents esculation of emotions – Bottling up crying can keep some individuals from intensifying their feelings of sadness through sobbing.

Drawbacks of Suppressing Crying

  • Stifles emotional release – Holding in cries prevents the healthy venting and processing of emotions.
  • Causes toxin buildup – Swallowing tears retains stress chemicals like cortisol in the body instead of flushing them out.
  • Raises risk of mental and physical illness – Suppressed emotions weaken the immune system over time and increase anxiety, depression, and heart disease risk.
  • Damages relationships – People who restrain crying appear stoic but tend to isolation. Partners may feel shut out by the lack of emotional expression.

In most cases, the risks and downsides of bottling up tears outweigh the benefits. Suppressing crying can put considerable mental and physical strain on a person over months and years.

Healthy Coping Strategies

Finding a healthy balance is key. Strategically releasing emotions through crying can help maintain well-being, while constant crying may signal underlying issues. Here are some healthy ways to handle overwhelming emotions:

Let Tears Flow When Alone

If you fear crying in front of others, let yourself sob in private. Take time alone to process sadness, frustration, anxiety, and release stress chemicals from your system through emotional purging.

Cry with Trusted Friends and Family

Surround yourself with supportive people you feel safe being vulnerable with. Letting emotions show deepens intimacy in relationships. Avoid those who may judge, trivialize, or use your tears against you.

Channel Emotions into Creative Acts

Express sad feelings through creative outlets like writing, music, artwork, or poetry. Creative expression releases emotions without amplification from crying.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

When feeling like crying, try deep breathing, meditation, yoga, or mindfulness to calm the mind and body. This provides the physiological benefits of crying without reinforcing sadness.

Consider Counseling for Chronic Crying

If you cry daily or several times a week, seek professional counseling for potential mood disorders. Therapists can help identify the root causes and teach coping strategies.

Limit Cry Duration

It’s healthy to cry for a few minutes when needed. But limit the crying spell duration to avoid worsening dehydration, fatigue, and feelings of despair.

The Answer: Strategic Crying in Moderation

In conclusion, research suggests that strategically crying in moderation provides the greatest mental and physical health benefits for most people. Silently swallowing tears can damage well-being over time, while frequent crying may indicate underlying issues. Crying is generally nature’s way to restore balance and release toxins during times of stress. But weaponizing tears or crying daily hints at a need for counseling to build healthy coping mechanisms. With emotional clarity and mastery over vulnerable impulses, we can reap the benefits of an occasional good cry while avoiding its pitfalls through measured, purposeful vulnerability.