Being a flight attendant can seem like a glamorous job, jet-setting around the world and visiting exciting destinations. However, the reality of the job doesn’t always live up to the romanticized notion. Flight attendants work long, tiring hours in a confined space, and the job requires being “on” at all times when interacting with passengers. This can take an emotional toll over time. One of the biggest complaints from flight attendants is that the job can get extremely lonely. Let’s take a closer look at why this career has the reputation for being an isolated one.
Limited Social Interactions
While flight attendants interact with passengers throughout each flight, these exchanges are usually brief, superficial, and focused on providing service. There is little opportunity for flight attendants to have meaningful conversations or build connections with the people they come across. Pilots and other crew members complete their pre-flight duties separately, so time together is also limited. The short periods flight attendants spend on the ground between flights consist mostly of preparing for the next boarding and flight. There is minimal time to socialize during quick airport layovers.
Flight attendants report feeling like they are perpetually on the move and have sparse chances to establish a sense of community. Even when they return home after a draining trip, they usually have errands and chores that have piled up during their absence. The sporadic nature of their schedules makes it hard to coordinate plans with friends or participate in social events on their days off.
Disruptions to Relationships Outside of Work
The hectic schedule and lifestyle of a flight attendant also takes a toll on relationships with loved ones at home. Flight attendants can be gone for 2-4 days at a time, which requires an understanding and independent partner. Even when they are not working, they may need to sleep and recover from jet lag. This makes quality time together infrequent. Missing major holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other meaningful occasions year after year due to a fluctuating work schedule leads to missed connections. Flight attendants report that friends drift away after continually not being able to attend social functions.
Additionally, the odd hours and last-minute schedule changes make it difficult for flight attendants to plan ahead in their personal lives. Pursuing hobbies, scheduling appointments, arranging childcare, and creating structure is challenging. Flight attendants have to stay flexible for work, which means others in their lives do as well. It’s not uncommon for relationships with spouses and loved ones to suffer. The damage done over time by the demands of the job contributes to the feelings of isolation.
Lack of Control Over Schedule & Destinations
Most flight attendants don’t have much input when it comes to their assigned trips. Bases and routes are awarded according to seniority. Attendants have to be prepared to fly wherever they are assigned, which could involve back-to-back domestic trips or long-haul international flights. There is often no consistency from one month to the next. The lack of control over where they go and the rigor of travel inevitably takes a mental toll. Jet lag, fatigue from irregular hours, and the physical demands of the job also leave little energy at the end of the day to proactively socialize.
Additionally, flight attendants don’t usually have much say regarding days on versus days off. Bids based on seniority allow more veteran attendants to secure preferable schedules, days off and trips. However, there are fewer options for new hires. The inability to plan downtime in advance to recharge makes the job harder both physically and emotionally. Having an erratic schedule decided by someone else adds to feelings of isolation.
Coping with Passengers’ Problems
While flight attendants aim to exude a constant warm, welcoming and helpful persona, they are often subjected to passenger frustrations. Travel delays, cancellations, cramped conditions and other stressors cause some flyers to take their anger and irritation out on flight attendants. Rude comments and entitled demands happen routinely. Attendants report countering mean-spiritedness with a smile and sympathy takes an emotional toll over time.
Attendants are also first responders if any medical issues occur mid-flight. Providing medical assistance in an emergency and potentially saving a passenger’s life leads to an adrenaline surge in the moment. However, after the crisis is handled, attendants have to carry on and immediately serve the other passengers. There is no time allotted to process or decompress after an intense situation. The lack of closure adds to emotional fatigue and isolation.
Layovers Lack Glamour
Traveling the world and seeing exciting destinations is a major perk highlighted when promoting the flight attendant role. In reality, layovers lack glamour for the most part. Long-haul flights may provide up to 24-48 hours of downtime in another country, but that time is usually spent alone. Some attendants never even leave their hotel due to exhaustion. Short domestic layovers offer even less time for exploration. Any sightseeing is typically done alone.
The hotels booked by airlines for layovers are chosen for convenience and discounted rates over luxury. Comfortable rooms and amenities cannot be expected. Restaurants within walking distance also tend to be fast, cheap food chains. So while layovers allow a change of scenery, attendants report they often feel lonely in generic hotel rooms and kill time watching TV between flights. Rooming with another attendant helps, but overall the perk of travel is not all that glamorous in reality.
Difficulty Establishing Close Friendships with Fellow Attendants
Developing close relationships with fellow flight attendants based at the same hub may also prove challenging. Because schedules vary drastically, the same groups of attendants do not typically fly together consistently. Seeing familiar faces and having the time to bond while working is unlikely. Everyone operates on different days on and off, trips, schedules, family obligations, etc.
Additionally, there is a degree of transience in the role. Attendants may bid to switch hubs every few years for various personal reasons. This regular reshuffling makes it hard to build solid relationships that will last. There is also a divide between senior and junior attendants. The more veteran flight attendants know each other well and have history, leaving new hires feeling excluded.
Exhaustion from Long Work Days
The FAA mandates that flight attendants can only work up to 14 hours per day. However, those are still very long shifts filled with constant demands. Attendants must remain pleasant and attentive regardless of jet lag, fatigue or nursing a cold. Short periods of rest are permitted during the flight when the cabin is settled, but this is not quality sleep. The mental exertion of providing nonstop customer service under stressful conditions is draining. At the end of a long work day, most flight attendants lack motivation or energy for socializing and interacting.
Difficulty Maintaining Mental Health
The combination of sporadic hours, sleep disruptions from flying through time zones, exhaustive work conditions and emotional toll from passenger interactions contributes to mental health issues. Flight attendants report issues such as anxiety, depression and substance abuse more frequently than the general population. However, the transient nature of the job and stigma surrounding mental health makes it less likely for attendants to seek help. Taking time off and maintaining consistent treatment is also very difficult with the demands of the role. Many force themselves to press on when they are mentally and emotionally depleted, which only exacerbates issues like depression and loneliness.
How Airlines and Attendants Can Reduce Isolation
It’s clear that combating loneliness needs to be a priority for airlines from a talent retention and mental health standpoint. While schedules will always be demanding, certain changes could make a difference. Some ways airlines and attendants could help reduce isolation include:
- Assigning attendants consistent partners and teams rather than rotating
- Offering more input over schedules and routes for attendants
- Building planned breaks and buffer days into monthly schedules
- Rotating job positions (Galley vs. Aisle) periodically
- Encouraging engagement among attendants such as pre-flight huddles
- Planning monthly morale events for attendants and families
- Providing airport lounge access with other attendants during layovers
- Offering free standby tickets for attendants’ loved ones to join on trips
- Providing confidential mental health services
- Making support groups and mentorship programs available
- Offering retention bonuses for long-term attendants
While being a flight attendant will always involve a degree of disconnection, there are certainly ways airlines can better support their employees’ mental health and encourage engagement. This will lead to better performance for the airlines while also helping attendants avoid the traps of isolation.
Conclusion
The jet-setting lifestyle of a flight attendant seems exotic and adventurous from the outside looking in. However, the reality of the job involves exhaustion, emotional tolls, disrupted relationships, and very little social connection. Isolation and loneliness are some of the most commonly cited challenges for attendants. The transient nature of the role, inability to control schedules, brief superficial interactions, and lack of downtime make it difficult for attendants to establish a sense of community, maintain close relationships, and access mental health resources.
While the demands of the role will likely never change, airlines have an obligation to take measures that combat the loneliness epidemic among flight crews. This not only improves the attendants’ well-being and job satisfaction, but also ultimately results in better service for passengers. With the right initiatives in place, airlines can reduce the isolating aspects of the job and create a healthier work culture.
| Factor | Contribution to Loneliness |
|---|---|
| Limited meaningful social interactions | Conversations with passengers are brief and superficial, little time socializing with other crew |
| Disruptions to relationships outside of work | Hard to maintain relationships when gone 2-4 days at a time, missing events and occasions |
| Lack of control over schedule | Inability to plan personal life in advance due to erratic schedule |
| Dealing with passenger frustrations | Countering negativity and aggression from travelers takes an emotional toll |
| Layovers lack glamour | Brief layovers spent alone, long layovers confined to lonely hotel rooms |
| Difficulty making close friendships | Coworkers’ schedules don’t align, reshuffling of hubs disrupts bonds |
| Exhaustion from long days | Physically and emotionally drained after 14 hour shifts, no energy left |
| Mental health challenges | High rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, reluctance to seek treatment |